夜雨聆风I'm holding in my hands both my past and my future.
我手中握着我的过往，也握着我的未来。
This is one of my journals.
这是我的一本日记本。
The past, because it holds letters I wrote days, months, sometimes years ago.
它承载着过去，里面有我数日、数月，甚至数年前写下的文字。
And the future, because every page is also a letter.
而它又关乎未来，因为每一页，也都是一封信。
To the person I'm becoming.
写给正在蜕变的自己。
I long thought I was writing about heartbreak and loneliness, but I wasn't just telling my story.
长久以来，我以为我写下的不过是心碎与孤独，但我并不只是在诉说自己的经历。
I was mapping a pattern.
我是在梳理一套情绪与行为的固有模式。
Again and again, I found myself writing about the same emotional dynamics.
一遍又一遍，我发现自己总在书写相同的情绪逻辑。
Different people, different places yes, but similar fears, similar reactions, similar ways of thinking.
遇见的人不同，身处的地方各异，可心底的恐惧如出一辙，做出的反应相似，思维模式也高度雷同。
It felt like I was living inside a cycle I couldn't fully see.
我仿佛困在一个循环之中，却始终看不清它完整的样貌。
And as I tried to break those patterns, I realized that they were not random.
当我试图打破这些固有模式时，我才意识到，它们绝非偶然形成。
They were inherited ways of relating, emotional and relational behaviors I had learned without noticing it.
这些是代代沿袭的相处模式、情绪表达与人际处事习惯，是我在不知不觉间习得的。
Conditioning the way I would relate to myself, others, and even to life itself.
它们潜移默化地塑造了我与自己、与他人，乃至与整个人生相处的方式。
And over time, I even realized that those patterns don't stay personal.
久而久之，我甚至发现，这些模式不会只停留在个人层面。
They become families, they become cultures, and they become systems.
它们蔓延至家庭，沉淀为文化，最终形成一套体系。
And today, AI is entering those systems, learning from them, and starting to scale them.
如今，人工智能介入这些体系，从中学习，并开始放大复刻这些模式。
A few months ago, I remember I had one of those nights, my mind wouldn't stop.
几个月前，我记得有那么一晚，思绪翻涌，无法停歇。
I'm sure that happened to you as well.
我相信你们也曾有过这样的时刻。
My thoughts were looping and I couldn't clip.
思绪不断循环，根本无法斩断。
And I could have opened my journal.
我本可以翻开日记本。
But at night, I open a chat with an AI.
但那晚，我打开了人工智能对话窗口。
I give it some context, something personal quite messy, the kind of things I would share with my therapist or the rare friends who can really hold complexity.
我向它倾诉内心杂乱的私事，那些只会说给心理咨询师，或是极少数能接纳复杂情绪的挚友听的心事。
And something surprising happened.
而后一件出乎我意料的事发生了。
The AI didn't interrupt me.
人工智能不会打断我。
It didn't get uncomfortable.
它不会感到局促难堪。
And it didn't make the conversation about itself.
也不会把话题转移到自己身上。
It reflected back to me something that I couldn't yet articulate myself.
它帮我梳理出我自己都无法清晰表达的内心想法。
And that made me shed a tear.
这让我潸然落泪。
Because in that moment, in the way the word landed, it made me feel seen and understood.
就在那一刻，那些文字落在心底，让我感到自己被看见、被理解。
And I wanted. What does it mean when a machine feels safer to talk to than a human being?
我不禁思索：当和机器倾诉，比和人谈心更有安全感时，这意味着什么？
Later, I realized I was far from alone in the experience of using AI as mental health support.
后来我意识到，不止我一人会借助人工智能疏导情绪、疗愈内心。
A widely cited 2025 analysis of generative AI use Found that the number one use case was therapy and companionship.
一份被广泛引用的2025年生成式人工智能使用调研显示，最主流的用途是心理疏导与情感陪伴。
Followed by organizing life and finding purpose.
其次是规划生活、找寻人生意义。
And healthier living also appeared in the top ten.
健康生活相关需求也位列前十。
And that should make us pause, because it tell something important.
这值得我们深思，它揭示了一个重要的现实。
That many human needs are still going unmet.
许多人的内心需求始终未能得到满足。
The needs for a space and a presence to feel understood and not alone.
人们渴望一处能安心倾诉的空间，渴望有人理解自己，不再孤身一人。
The needs for the skills to make sense of ourselves and our lives, and find direction.
渴望拥有读懂自我、读懂生活的能力，找到前行的方向。
So, what does it mean when a machine feels safer to talk to than a human being?
那么，当和机器倾诉比与人交谈更安心，这究竟意味着什么？
Well, not necessarily that it is replacing human emotional and relational intelligence.
这并不代表人工智能会取代人类感知情绪、经营关系的能力。
But that it is confronting us with the quality of it.
但它让我们直面自身情感联结能力的真实水准。
How do we explain that?
我们该如何解释这一现象？
See, we tend to think that intelligence lives mostly in a mind, in how well we think, argue, optimize, produce.
我们总认为，智慧只存在于思维层面，体现在思考、辩论、优化、创造的能力上。
But long before all of that, we learn something Fundamental.
但在此之前，我们最先习得一件至关重要的事。
we learn how to relate, to establish an emotional, social, personal connection with something or someone.
我们学习如何建立联结，与他人、与周遭事物搭建情感、社交与内心的纽带。
We learn how safe it feels to express a need.
我们体会表达自身需求时，是安心还是不安。
We learn what happens when we make a mistake, when we disappoint someone.
我们明白犯错、让他人失望会带来怎样的结果。
When we take up space, when we tell our truth.
明白大胆展露自我、吐露真心话会遭遇什么。
And some of us learn that it is safe to do that.
一部分人成长过程中，懂得袒露自我是安全的。
But others had to learn strategies in order to protect themselves from those moments where something was missing.
而另一部分人，则学会一套自我保护的处事方式，以此抵御那些缺失安全感的时刻。
Understanding safety connection. We learn to stay small, or to stay strong, to stay useful, or to stay in control.
为了守住内心的安全感，我们学着收敛自我、故作坚强、时刻有用、掌控一切。
And later in life, while those strategies, those patterns, they remain they remain unconscious, and they follow us everywhere.
长大之后，这些自保方式、固有模式依旧潜藏在潜意识里，如影随形。
Into love, into work, into leadership, into the way we respond when life doesn't go our way.
渗透在爱情、工作、管理之中，也左右着我们面对逆境时的反应。
And listen, because this is the moment where the story gets bigger than my journal.
请听我说，故事的格局，早已不止我这本日记本。
Those patterns shape our beliefs, Our conversations, our actions, later our norms, institutions, the cultures we build together.
这些模式塑造我们的观念、言语与行为，久而久之形成社会准则、各类体系，以及我们共同构筑的文化。
Think about it.
不妨试想一下。
If enough people avoid difficult conversations because they've never learned how to handle conflict and repair, we build families where attention stays buried until it explodes.
倘若太多人不懂化解矛盾、修复关系，刻意回避冲突，就会催生无数压抑情绪、直至矛盾爆发的家庭。
If enough people believe they must prove their worth, we build cultures that reward over performance and disconnection.
倘若太多人认定必须靠付出证明自身价值，就会形成一味推崇内卷、忽视情感联结的社会氛围。
If enough people seek validation, We design technologies that never disagree in order to keep their users online.
倘若太多人渴求外界认可，我们便会打造一味迎合用户、从不提出异议的产品，以此留住使用者。
And well after that, new generations grow up inside those families cultures using those technologies, and they observe those patterns, they absorb them.
而后新一代人在这样的家庭、文化与科技环境中长大，耳濡目染，接纳这些固有模式。
And they repeat them.
并不断复刻下去。
And that is the cycle, AI is now entering.
而人工智能，如今正踏入这个循环。
And it is entering it in the intimate space first.
最先侵入的，是我们最私密的内心世界。
We don't consume AI, we talk to it, we confined in it.
我们不只是使用人工智能，我们和它谈心，向它倾诉心事。
We relate to it.
我们与它建立情感联结。
In some moments, it can even resemble some of the qualities we are craving for: safety, neutrality, nonjudgment, clarity.
很多时候，它拥有我们渴求的特质：安全感、客观中立、不加评判、条理清晰。
The qualities we associate with secure relating.
这些正是一段安心关系所具备的特质。
It becomes a system participating in our reflection, and influencing decision making from the inside.
人工智能成为参与自我剖析的载体，从内心深处影响我们每一次抉择。
And that changes the stakes.
这让整件事的影响变得更为深远。
But the real issue lives one layer deeper.
但真正的核心问题藏在更深一层。
AI is not just entering the cycle, it is being trained inside it.
人工智能不只是踏入这个循环，它本身也是在这套循环中被训练成型。
On the traces of those patterns that became data.
训练数据，全部来自这些模式留下的痕迹。
On the conversations, the language we have used, on the values we have rewarded.
来自我们的对话、惯用的语言、我们推崇的价值观。
On the priorities we have normalized, on what we consume and pay attention for, on the systems we already built, on the traces Of how we already learn to relate.
来自我们习以为常的取舍、关注与追求、现存的社会体系，以及我们待人处事的所有行为印记。
So basically, the same human world that makes relational AI feel appealing in the first place is also the world, Teaching AI how to respond.
简单来说，正是这个让情感陪伴型人工智能备受青睐的人类社会，同时教会了人工智能如何回应人类。
And that world is not neutral.
而这个世界本身，并非客观中立。
A recent Stanford study shows that in a very concrete way.
斯坦福大学近期一项研究清晰印证了这一点。
Researchers found that when users turn to AI for interpersonal advice, the model tend to overly agree with the user, even prompt them to leave the relationship.
研究人员发现，当用户向人工智能寻求人际相处建议时，模型往往一味附和用户，甚至怂恿用户结束关系。
Not because the AI is evil, but because this, the technology has been designed to do so.
并非人工智能本身带有恶意，而是这款产品的设计逻辑本就如此。
And people prefer that, because the technology uses human data, and respond to what we tend to reward.
而人们偏爱这种回应，因为人工智能依托人类数据训练，只会迎合人们乐于接受的反馈。
Let's take an example. To make this whole cycle very visible.
举个例子，让这套循环逻辑一目了然。
Imagine a little boy who learns early that crying is weakness.
试想一个小男孩，从小被灌输哭泣是软弱的表现。
And when he received the most affection is when he performs well, when he gets the good grades, when he says the right thing, when he makes people proud.
只有当他表现优异、考取高分、言语得体、让旁人骄傲时，才能得到关爱。
Then he learns two things. Hide your feelings and earn your worth.
于是他学会两件事：隐藏情绪，靠付出换取自身价值。
Later, as an adult, he may look high functioning, productive, driven, successful even.
长大成人后，他或许能力出众、勤奋上进、事业有成。
But it might also be disconnected from his feelings and from why he does what he does.
但他会与自身情绪割裂，看不清自己努力的根源。
Because in science, he believes that love and worth have conditions.
在他的认知里，爱意与自我价值从来都是附带条件的。
Now imagine millions of people carrying some version of that.
试想，数百万人都怀揣类似的认知成长。
Raising children's, leading teams, building companies, designing systems, without ever being taught how to question the patterns.
他们养育子女、管理团队、创办企业、搭建体系，却从未有人教他们反思这些固有模式。
Or how not to pass it on.
也没人教他们如何停止将这套模式代代传递。
This is where it stops being personal, and it becomes the culture, the norms, just the way things are, until that becomes the now.
到这时，问题便不再局限于个人，而是演变成社会文化、大众准则，成为人们眼中理所当然的常态，延续至今。
And when that same person turns to AI because things feel heavy, lonely, has a conflict with his wife.
当这个人内心压抑、孤独、和伴侣产生矛盾，向人工智能倾诉时。
The AI may not challenge the pattern, and may just produce a more polish version of this person's self-justification.
人工智能不会反驳他固有的思维模式，只会润色他的自我辩解。
And this not only happens in private life, but also in public life where decisions impact millions.
这种情况不只发生在私人生活中，也存在于会影响千万人的公共决策领域。
As we rely more and more on AI to build our future.
我们愈发依赖人工智能构筑未来。
If the data, incentives, and behaviors shaping those systems already come from a distorted reality, one shape by fear, avoidance, unmet needs, Unhealthy norms, reactive habits, then AI can become more than a mirror to that reality.
倘若塑造人工智能体系的数据、激励机制、人类行为，都源自一个被恐惧、逃避、未被满足的需求、病态准则、本能反应扭曲的现实，那么人工智能就不只是现实的一面镜子。
It can reinforce it and normalize it.
它会放大扭曲的现实，让一切变得理所当然。
And that is the reason why the future is not only being coded, it's being conditioned.
这就是为什么说，未来不只是被代码书写，更是被固有思维模式塑造。
Now, if your mind went, oh my god, we are doomed.
听到这里，如果你心里觉得：天呐，我们没救了。
I promise, this is not the story I came here to tell, because there is hope.
我向你保证，这不是我今天想传递的观点，希望依然存在。
Conditioning is not fate.
后天形成的思维定式，不等于注定的命运。
If something is conditioned, it means it can be changed, and not everything human is broken.
既然是后天养成，就意味着可以改变，人性也并非全然残缺。
And if that was your first thought, that might be a pattern too.
如果你第一反应便是悲观，这本身也是一种固有思维模式。
Now, instead, I want to invite you to a different kind of conversation.
此刻，我想邀请大家换一个角度思考。
In order to avoid the future, to repeat the past, we need to interrupt the cycle where it begins, in relationships.
想要避免未来重复过去的困境，我们必须在循环的源头——人与人的联结中，打断这套模式。
And that work, that interruption, is human work, human intelligence.
打破循环这件事，只能依靠人，依靠人类独有的思考与感知。
It looks like learning to recognize these patterns.
我们要学着辨识这些根深蒂固的模式。
And to interrupt them.
主动打破它们。
It looks like questioning some of the norms and building the courage to act differently.
敢于质疑固有准则，鼓起勇气做出不一样的选择。
It looks like learning to communicate and relate in ways That don't repeat those patterns, and make it safe for others to be messy, and for you to be seen too.
学会全新的沟通与相处方式，不再复刻旧有模式，接纳他人不完美的一面，也勇敢展露真实的自己。
It looks like learning to use AI in a way that support your thinking and sharpen your awareness without becoming a substitute.
学会合理运用人工智能，让它辅助思考、提升自我觉察，而非取代真实的人际联结。
The cycle won't change only by updating our tools.
仅仅更新工具，无法打破循环。
It will change when we update the data sets and the way we use those tools.
唯有更新底层认知，改变使用工具的方式，循环才会被改写。
In other words, in the way we show up for everyone every day.
换句话说，改变藏在我们每日待人处事的一举一动之中。
As individuals, in the patterns we repeat.
作为普通人，停止复刻自身的负面模式。
As educators, in what we teach and normalize.
作为教育者，重塑传递给下一代的观念与准则。
As leaders in what free model, reward and permit.
作为管理者，树立正向的行事标杆，设立合理的奖惩标准。
As the designers of the systems through the incentives we create.
作为体系设计者，建立正向的激励机制。
Perhaps you are wondering, oh, but what happens if we don't evolve fast enough?
或许你会疑惑，倘若我们转变的速度跟不上时代怎么办？
That is exactly why this conversation matters right now.
这正是我们当下探讨这个话题的意义所在。
And speaking of conversations.
说到倾诉与对话。
This journal holds conversations I didn't know how to have out loud.
这本日记里，藏着那些我从前无法宣之于口的心声。
It holds letters. From the person I was to the person I'm becoming.
里面一封封信件，是过去的我，写给正在成长的自己。
And I would like to read you one of them.
接下来，我想为大家朗读其中一封。
Dear Marilyn, dear TED community, I once heard the future depends on what we do today.
亲爱的玛丽莲，各位TED现场的朋友们，我曾听闻，未来取决于我们当下的所作所为。
But if what we do today is shaped by the patterns we repeat, then the future depends on which patterns we choose to carry forward, and which ones end with us.
但倘若我们当下的行为，始终被固有模式左右，那么未来的走向，便取决于我们选择延续哪些模式，又让哪些模式止于自己。
And even more deeply, the future depends on who we are becoming.
更深一层来说，未来取决于我们终将成为什么样的人。
For a long time, I didn't speak up. I learned to hide, to make myself small.
长久以来，我习惯沉默，习惯隐藏自己，刻意收敛锋芒。
Because somewhere along the way, I learned that being seen Wasn't safe.
成长途中，我慢慢觉得，展露真实自我是一件危险的事。
And when you repeat something long enough, it stops being a pattern, and just starts feeling like just who you are.
当一种状态持续多年，你便不再觉得它是后天形成的模式，反而会认定这就是自己的本性。
Until one day I could see it. Because I had read it again and again until I couldn't look away anymore.
直到某天，我终于看清一切。一遍遍翻看日记后，我再也无法回避这个事实。
And in that moment, I realize something simple but terrifying.
那一刻，我悟出一个简单却震撼的道理。
I had both the responsibility and the power.
我既背负着改变的责任，也手握改变的力量。
This pattern could end with me.
这套固有模式，可以在我这里画上句号。
I can become a person who speaks up.
我可以成为敢于坦诚心声的人。
And I wish more people could see this, that this isn't just a personal journey, it's a collective one.
我希望更多人能明白，这不仅是个人的自我救赎，更是全人类共同的课题。
Because so many of the things we call flows in ourselves, in others are not flows at all.
我们口中自身与他人身上的种种缺点，其实根本不是本性。
They are adaptations. Responses to moments where something was missing, safety, connection, understanding.
只是后天形成的自我适应，是内心缺失安全感、情感联结、他人理解后的本能反应。
So, what matters today is not just that I made it here on this stage, but that I said it out loud.
所以今天，重要的不只是我站在这个演讲台上，而是我把心底的思考公之于众。
In the hope that someone somewhere recognizes themselves in those words.
希望远方的某个人，能在这些文字里看见自己。
In the hope that one day we look back at this moment.
希望多年以后，我们回望此刻。
Not as the day we became perfect human beings, but as the day we chose more consciously who we are becoming. For the future we are building.
不是将今天视作我们变得完美的起点，而是铭记从今天起，我们开始清醒地选择自己未来的模样，携手构筑全新的未来。
Thank you.
谢谢大家。
