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考点 37 读后续写 02 环
境描写突破（原卷版）
【命题解读】
通过对环境的描写，能够向读者交待故事的背景，衬托人物，渲染气氛，从而推动情
节发展。环境描写真的是必不可少的。此外，作者可以通过环境描写向读者间接的表达着
故事中主人公的内心情感变化。
【思维导图】
【环境描写的重要性】
首先要明确的是，把主旨想清楚，时刻不忘“写景乃为主旨服务”这句话。如果景物
与主旨无关，就是为写景而写景，就是无效的写景。
例如，大家看看我要传达出“高兴”与“悲伤”两种不同主旨时，该用下面哪种景物
描写。
A. 花儿低着头，杨柳无精打采。B. 花儿昂着头，杨柳摆动这枝条。
答案一目了然。
所以，景随主旨变。先确定主旨，然后来写景，这样才有效果。
通常情况下，传达出的情感好，则用褒义色彩的美好的、正向的词。传达出情感需要
不好，则用贬义色彩的糟糕负面的词。大家看下面三例：
The wind was blowing dreadfully(恐怖地)。
The wind was blowing softly（柔和地）。
The wind was blowing comfortably（舒服地）。
可以看出三句传达出什么样的情感吧。
“情景交融”法
【用一个公式来表达就是：写景 + 感受】
写景后，再添加一个明显的情感描写，就是指：有时在景物描写之后，加上一两句自己
的情感态度。这样做的整体效果就是：情境交融。当然，如果你想造成“留白启发思考”
的效果，那么就没有必要添加这种显性的情感态度描写了。
举个例子，大家记得2017年11月高考《健忘的妈妈》的故事续写吧。第一段可以用到
下面三句：
That night we set up our tent in a park.（那天晚上我们在公园里搭起帐篷。）
The moon was held up above the sky, shining her smooth and charming moonlight. （月
亮被高举在天空的上方，照耀着她那光滑而迷人的月光。）
Twinkling stars were blinking（眨眼）, and fragrant（芬芳的）breeze（微风） gently
blew.（闪烁的星星眨着眼，芬芳的微风轻轻地吹着。）
这个景物描写很精彩。但是如果后面在加一句：Resting beside my mother, with hands held tightly by her, I feel the world is so beautiful.
（躺在母亲身边，双手紧紧地握着母亲，我觉得这个世界是如此美丽。）
这样一加，就让“母亲”显现，就让“我与母亲关系和谐”的主旨就显现了。
再比如，下面两句景物描写：
第1句：The wind was howling dreadfully and the rain was pouring from the
heaven, whipping against the branches of lined（成排的） trees.
（风可怕地嚎叫，雨从天倾斜而来，拍打着成排的树枝。）
第2句：The world was loaded with a sea of darkness（世界承载着一片海洋般的黑暗）.
这两句的后面，如果再加一句：
I was seized with the roaring power of nature. A sense of horror creeping up on me. （我被自
然发怒的力量抓住了。一种恐惧感悄悄爬到我身上。）
这样就进一步强调了自己的情感。
总之，根据凸显“情感”的需要，我们可以决定是不是该加一句显性的“情感表达”，
来决定是不是呈现显性的“情景交融”。
比喻法
我们的环境描写还可以用比喻手法，用“like”即可，并交代、突出特点。如果总结成公式，
【那就是：写景 + 比喻 + 特点】
与大家分享的例子是一位美国作家的短篇小说 The Whistle (寒笛)中的写景片段：
原文是：
Night fell. The darkness was thin, like some sleazy dress that has been worn and worn for many
winters and always lets the cold through to the bones. Then the moon rose.译文：
夜色降临, 暮色稀薄, 犹如穿过了数个冬季的敝衣, 难以抵御刺骨的严寒。而后月
亮升起。
（sleazy 稀薄的， let.. through 让...通过,类似pass through）
02
我们再来做句子分析：
这句话的核心句是：The darkness was thin，即：暮色稀薄。其他内容都是锦上添花的
作用，就是让这个核心句子显得更加完整具体。怎么做到的呢？首先是用到了比喻：这里
的 like.就起到了这个作用：“like some sleazy dress”像是一条薄薄的裙子，将darkness比
作薄薄的裙子还不够，还穿了好几个冬天(has been worn and worn for many winters),冬天里
穿裙子一定非常的寒冷。于是作者又加上了寒冷入骨(to the bones)。如此，一个寒冷的夜晚
(cold night)与一件不能御寒的敞衣相联系，内容可以如此丰富。
关于比喻，可能有些同学不是特别熟悉，再给大家一个例句：
A fire still fluttered in the grate (壁炉炉膛), ... like a bird trying to find its way out of the
room.一团火还在壁炉炉膛里舞动着，就像一只挣脱束缚的鸟。
这句话里，把壁炉里跳动的火苗比作想挣脱束缚的鸟（find its way out of the room）。使“火
苗”的描写更加生动。
我们再来上面提到的“薄雾”的例子，回忆一下公式：
写景+比喻+特点
如果说详细一点就是：
平平无奇的交代下自然现象+比喻（定语从句或非谓语修饰）+突出特点(冷
得不得了)
学习读后续写，最快的方式，就是改编，仿写。我们一起来牛刀小试一下吧：如果我
们要描写“雾”，应该怎么写呢？
The wind was blowing. The mist was getting thick, like a huge textured velvet
cloak, making what is hidden inside an unclear mystery.风正在吹。雾越来越浓，像一件巨大的有质感的天鹅绒斗篷，把一切隐藏在模糊的神秘之
中。
这句仿写的句子很好的get到了比喻的精髓，非常好的运用了“like”，textured velvet
cloak（有质感的天鹅绒斗篷），形象具体。非谓语making做状语，也着实炫了一下语法。
既简洁描绘了景色，又营造了一种神秘、紧张的氛围。
【素材积累】
1. 人物动作的画面定格
They stood there for a moment, side by side, waiting for the rushing holiday current and for
their place in it. Then the daughter glanced over and momentarily regarded her mother. And slowly,
almost reluctantly, she placed her arm with apparently unaccustomed affection around her mother’s
shoulders and gently guided her back into the deluge. 她们并肩站在那里，等待着节日的浪潮，
等待着她们在浪潮中的位置。 然后女儿扫了一眼，立刻注视着她的母亲。 慢慢地，几乎
是不情愿地，带着明显不习惯的爱她把胳膊放在她母亲的肩膀上，轻轻地引导她回到洪水
中。
His hard work paid off! Holding the soda tin firmly, Reuben rushed for the shop to buy the
brooch. The moment he got the beautiful brooch, he burst through the front door and placed it in
Dora’s hand. Never had Dora received such a gift. Speechless and happy, she held her son tightly
into her arms, with tears welling up in her eyes.他的努力得到了回报！鲁本紧紧地握着汽水罐，
冲向商店去买胸针。他一拿到那枚漂亮的胸针，就冲进前门，把它放在朵拉的手里。多拉
从来没有收到过这样的礼物。她高兴得说不出话来，紧紧地把儿子抱在怀里，眼泪涌了出
来。
Standing beside the empty road, they looked up into the sky, feeling the precious peace from
within.站在空旷的道路旁，他们抬头仰望天空，从内心感受到珍贵的平和。
2. 特殊寓意的写景画面
The sky was a billion pure eyes of light and the grass green underfoot, it was as if night and
day had become one beautiful moment. Dawn had come. 天空像是一亿只纯净的眼睛拼接在一
起，脚下是青草，仿佛黑夜和白昼已成为一个美丽的时刻。黎明已经来临。（黎明到来的
画面）
Dawn sent shimmering rays over the placid ocean, bestowing a golden path from the shore to the
horizon.黎明在平静的海面上放射出出闪闪发亮的光线，留下一条从海岸到地平线横亘而过
的金色道路。（黎明到来的画面）
The crystal and cerulean water was gentle as I waded through it, the sunset like orange paint on a
blue canvas.当我涉过水晶般天蓝色的轻柔的水时，日落就像蓝色画布上的橙色颜料。（美
好日落时的画面）
The lingering sunlight was obliterated by the rapidly falling night，resembling a pitch-black curtain
draped over the sky.逗留在天际的最后一缕阳光被迅速落下的夜幕擦除，就像是天空被一层
漆黑的幕布覆盖。（日落时的画面）
The moon under siege by stars seemed to lighten the night bringing forth stars that shone and
hung in the blackness. The never ending blackness consumed everything.被群星围困的月亮似乎
照亮了黑夜，带来了在黑暗中闪耀和悬挂着的群星。无尽的黑暗吞噬了一切。（描写夜空
的画面）
Looking up, I saw the sun shine brighter than I ever knew before. I saw a tree in the distance glisten
gently as it reflected the sun's rays. My consciousness ebbed away with the heat. I took a few blinks
before I landed with a thud. 抬头一看，我看到太阳比我以前所知道的还要明亮。我看见远处
有一棵树反射着太阳光，发出柔和的光辉。我的意识随着热度而衰退。我眨了眨眼，然后
摔倒在地才猛然回到现实中，恢复了知觉。（特殊寓意）Dotted with glittering stars, the sky, midnight blue, gave the scene a fairytale quality. 缀满星光
的天空，午夜的蓝色，给了这一场景一个童话般的质量。（神话般美丽的夜空画面）
The rain drummed on the window, bidding farewell to the last beam of sunlight.雨水打着窗
户，向最后一缕阳光告别。 （雨水来临的画面）
Kissed by the rain and glistening, the wet ground is cold under foot. A dense earthly sweet
smell rises from the ground, enveloping everything within its soft embrace.潮湿的地面走起来很
冷，被雨水亲吻后闪闪发光。一股浓郁的泥土般的香味从地上升起，把一切都包裹在它柔
软的怀抱里。（雨后清新的画面）
The leaves crunched beneath my feet as I strolled down the street. Occasionally, one would fall
past me, lightly swaying as the air gently carried it to the ground. 我在街上漫步时，树叶在我脚
下嘎吱作响。偶尔，有叶子会从我身边掉下来，轻轻地摇晃，缓缓落到到地面。（描写落
叶的画面）
【模拟题 1】（2022·福建漳州·一模）
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Allison stood in line with the rest of her class, waiting for the school doors to open. This was
the last day before school closed for Christmas break. She couldn’t wait for secret gift swap (交
换) happening in class today. Alison tuned to say something to her best friend, Wendy, then froze.
She was surprised to see Wendy looking down at the ground with her books pressed tightly to her
chest.
“What’s wrong, Wendy?” Allison asked quietly.
Wendy shook her head, her eyes connecting with Allison’s. Allison could see that Wendy’s
face was as dark as a cloud, with no smile in sight.
“My parents didn’t give me anything to bring to the gift swap,” she whispered. “They saidthey didn’t have extra money for stuff like that.”
Allison looked at Wendy, confused. “But, we weren’t supposed to bring anything expensive.
Just something small that didn’t cost a lot of money.”
Allison thought back to the last time she’d been at Wendy’s house. She’d opened the
refrigerator looking for something to drink, only to find that it was mostly empty. The furniture in
Wendy’s house looked old and beaten up.
“It will be okay, Wendy,” Allison said. “We get to have all that time off for Christmas. Come
on, cheer up!”
Wendy gave her a small smile, then looked away. At that moment, a whistle blew, and the
kids started walking into the school building. The Christmas party was about to start.
One by one, the kids dropped their gifts into the bag the teacher was holding. Allison looked
over at Wendy. Most of the kids were smiling around the bag, eager to get started, but Wendy
stood off to the side, looking down at her feet. Allison hated seeing her friend so upset. She
wished there were something she could do about it.
“Come on up, Allison. It’s your turn,” the teacher said.
Soon everyone had pulled out a gift and unwrapped it.
注意：1. 续写词数应为150左右；
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1:
Allison looked down at her gift: a little glass cat.
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Paragraph 2:
“Wendy, I want you to have this,” she said.
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【模拟题 2】（2022·重庆·西南大学附中一模）
阅读下面短文， 根据所给情节进行续写， 使之构成一个完整的故事。Ken Scott kicked off the covers and leapt out of bed at his home in the Rocky Mountain town
of Mullan, Idaho. He’d just heard on the radio that the nearby Silver Mountain Resort had been
blessed with nearly a foot and a half of new snow. As an experienced ski addict, he didn’t want to
miss this big golden opportunity. These conditions are what skiers live for.
When Scott reached Silver Mountain’s locker room, he came across his friend Paul, a former
ski instructor who had also been a regular on these slopes for more than two decades. Both of
them were exhilarated. Before setting off, it was Paul’s routine to check his phone tightly fixed
inside his parka (风 雪外套). For the next hour the pair skied on various runs under a lightly dull
sky, making fresh tracks. They were both in a playful mood, laughing as they tackled the steep
runs.
Almost immediately, the snow beneath their feet gave way. In a millisecond, Paul realized
what was happening. “Avalanche! (雪崩)” he yelled to Scott, who was not far behind. Scott
responded. The sudden snow slide caused fear in his voice. “This is happening!” Instantly, both
were hit by a mass of snow that would hit and carry them some 500 feet down the mountain. Scott
felt it surrounding and enclosing him, moving quickly up his back and over his shoulders, then
heavy against his neck. Snow filled the space in front of him and piled up around the whole of
him. Paul, too, was swept downhill.
They remembered the avalanche survival lessons they had learned. Keep your head up. Try to
swim. Stay on top of the snow. But the snow was too powerful and they felt themselves rolling
like a load of clothes in a washing machine. When Scott finally came to rest, he was lying on his
left side and completely buried, skis and poles still attached.
注意：1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右；
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1:
Paul was luckier, ending up partially buried and probably surviving.
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Paragraph 2:
Recalling the terrible experience, Scott thanked his friend and the rescue team._______________________________________________________________________________
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【模拟题 3】（2022·湖南邵阳·一模）
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
It was Christmas 1961. I was teaching in a small town where my twenty-seven third graders
eagerly expected the great day of gift-giving.
Each day the children made some new wonders-strings of popcorn, hand-made decorations,
and German bells made from wallpaper samples, which we hung from the ceiling. Through it all
she stayed indifferent, watching from a distance, seemingly miles away. I wondered what would
happen to this quiet child, once so happy, now so suddenly unsociable. I hoped the celebrations
would light her up. But nothing did. We made cards and gifts for mothers and dads, for sisters and
brothers, for grandparents, and for each other. At home the students made the fried marbles（油炸
玻璃弹子） and competed with one another to bring in the prettiest ones. As my gift to them, I
made each of my students a little bag for carrying their fried marbles. And I knew they had each
made something special for me.
The day of gift giving finally came. We oohed and aahed over our handwork as the presents
were exchanged. But she sat quietly watching. I had made a special bag for her, red and green with
white lace, hoping very much to see her smile. She opened it so slowly and carefully. I waited but
she turned away. I had not passed through the wall of isolation she had built around herself.
After school the children left in little groups, but she hesitated, watching them go out of the
door. I sat down in a child-sized chair to catch my breath, hardly knowing what was happening
when she came to me reaching out her hands, holding a small white box unwrapped and slightly
soiled, as though it had been held many times by unwashed, childish hands. She said nothing.
注意:1. 续写词数应为150左右。
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
“For me?” I asked with a weak smile.
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I carefully held out the chain.
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【模拟题 4】（2022·江苏省苏州实验中学模拟预测）
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
“Mommy, don’t go,” my threeyearold son screamed as I walked to the door. My fifteenyear-
old leaned against the kitchen counter with his arms folded across his chest, not screaming, but
glaring at me as I pulled his little brother off my legs.
“Are you mad at me too?”
“You spend all your time taking care of other people’s kids, but what about us?” Dylan left
angrily.
I was shocked and a little hurt. How could my own child not understand that the work I was doing
was saving lives? Then the answer hit me. He didn’t know, because he had never seen what
Healing the Children actually did. Dylan had heard the stories of sick children, but had never once
looked into the eyes of a child and understood the hard truth—that without our help, the children
would likely die.
“Get dressed. You are going with me,” I said.
I spent the drive explaining the case of Hector to my son, who pretended to ignore me the entire
time. “He’s seven, only weighs thirty pounds and is very sick. He has a heart condition called
Tetralogy of Fallot, which could kill him. It is a miracle (奇迹) that he is still alive.”
I went on to explain that it took a team of volunteer medical staff to get Hector to the hospital
from his remote village and care for him while he was there. Still, Dylan seemed unimpressed.
We stopped at a convenience store for water and snacks. Dylan had one large and one small
Slurpee (思乐冰饮料). He said the small one was for Hector. I doubted whether the little guy
would be able to drink it, but remained silent. This was the first interest Dylan had shown in being
there. I wasn’t about to ruin it.
I stopped at the nurses’ station to check on Hector’s progress while Dylan went to his room.
Our patient was recovering physically, but the nurse was concerned that Hector was strugglingemotionally. She said, “Kids usually bounce back fast, but he hardly speaks and never smiles.”
注意：1.续写词数应为150左右；
2．请按如下格式作答。
Imagine my surprise when I heard laughter from Hector’s room
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On the way home that night, Dylan asked me several times whether Hector would be okay.
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【模拟题 5】（2022·湖南·长郡中学二模）
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Having struggled with financial difficulties for six months and failing to find a way out, I had
to close my technology writing business. Fortunately, I found a new job as a salesperson and soon
got a client. At the time, I wondered if it was too good to be true.
By the second month, something didn’t seem right, and I developed a bad feeling about the
client and the work. When the third month’s check didn’t arrive on time, I sent the client an e-mail
to find out what was going on. But there was no reply. Then I sent another e-mail, and another.
The check never arrived, and I never heard from the client again. With no hope in sight, I hit rock
bottom. Panic replaced cautious optimism along with my last self-confidence.
I hid myself from friends and locked myself in my room. One night, the phone rang. The call
was from Eric, a friend of mine from high school. When he was in high school, he told me many
times about his parents’ divorce and his loss of confidence in the college entrance examination.
During the difficult time, I gave him much comfort and encouragement. Later, he went to college
and was always grateful for what I had done.
After the greetings, I told my problems and challenges, hoping my friend would say
something comforting. What I didn’t expect was a string of sharp words. “What is wrong with
you? You can do anything you want to do,” he said. “You are a writer, so start writing. Write for
magazine.” “Write for magazine? Are you out of your mind? I don’t know the first thing aboutwriting for magazine, let alone write things that anyone would want to read. And I have to know
where I can send an application form-to what magazine and to what editor,” I shouted at him.
注意：1. 续写词数应为150左右；
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Surprisingly, I felt a little better after the shouting.
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On finishing the application form I sent it to the editor.
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【模拟题 6】（2022·湖南·周南中学模拟预测）
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一个完整的短文。
Almost all the possessions had been sold to buy food and clothing for the family. At last,
nothing was left but the pet lamb, Daisy. At the thought of parting with the little creature, Mrs.
Grant’s felt sad because the children loved it very much. Having struggled hard, she had to make
up her mind to sell the lamb. But she could not ask any child to go for the butcher. Finally, she
went herself with a heavy heart, dragging her leaden feet, and bargained with the butcher for the
sale of Daisy.
While the children were all playing with the lamb, the butcher and his boy came to the door. “
You see I am here for the lamb, ” said the butcher in a loud voice. Hearing this, one child ran to
her mother’s side, and asked what was happening in alarm. Mrs. Grant gently pushed the child
aside, bent down and was about to tell the truth.
“That’s my lamb now, Charlie! ” said the butcher’s boy in a playful tone, going up to Daisy
with a rope in his hand.
“No, it is not your lamb. It is ours! ” said Charlie, placing himself in front of it.
But the boy, pushing him aside, threw a rope round Daisy’s neck, and began to drag the little
creature away. The poor lamb bleated (咩咩叫) very sadly. The cry of grief which fell upon the
mother’s ears was too much for her, and her heart sank within her. In a moment, begging withtearful eyes, the children were all around their mother with voices choking with sobs for their little
pet.
“Please tell your boy to stop a moment, ” she said in husky tones to the butcher. The boy, at a
word from the butcher, stopped dragging the lamb, and the little creature stopped its bleating.
In a trembling voice, Mrs. Grant explained to them how badly off they were after their father
died. She also added that the kind butcher had given the money for Daisy. With this money, she
could buy her children bread to eat.
注意：1.续写词数应为150词左右；
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Para1:
But the more she explained, the stronger her children begged for Daisy.
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Para2:
The butcher, who had been watching all, was touched in his heart.
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