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考点 38 读后续写 03 动
作描写突破（原卷版）
【命题解读】
读后续写的写作过程中，成功的动作描写，可以交代人物的身份、地位，可以反映人
物心理活动的进程，可以表现人物的性格特征。
相反，空洞、笼统的描写会使内容缺乏生动性，使人物形象不丰满。人物的动作或简
单，或复杂，都不是一下子就能完成的，细心观察都能捕捉到最能体现人物特征的慢镜头
因此，在描写动作时，同学们要学会细化动作，把动作过程分解成一连串细微的动作，形
成动作链，写出动作的连贯性，这样才能使描写具有画面感，使人物更立体。
【思维导图】
动作链的重要性读后续写作文中动作描写没有头绪？不知道如何下手？不如拆解动作，构造动作链，
让你的动作描写既丰富又精彩！举个例子，何为构造动作链？我们先看一句高考样题范文。
He stopped the taxi, jumped in with the suitcase and told the driver, “Go to the police
station, please.”
这句话的意思是：他拦下了车，拿着箱子跳进了车里，然后对司机说，“请到警察局
去。”
其实，这句话只是描写了“上车”的动作，然而通过拆解，细致地展现了一个
动作下的组成部分。其本质是避免简单粗暴的使用一个动词概括整个动作，而是用 2-3个
动词组合进行描述。用一个公式进行总结以上例句，如下:
上车=拦车+上车+告诉目的地
再比如2017年高考真题中的一个优秀范文句子。
She would get off the car excitedly, laughing and dancing around.
这句话的意思是：她会兴奋地下车，又笑又跳。这句讲的是一个比较粗线条的妈妈，动作
描写完整地描述了这位妈妈下车时及下车后的表现，即：
下车=下车+笑+跳
这个训练过程，需要我们仔细观察，结合一丢丢的语文功底，并进行合理联想，并多
多积累动词。同时，这也为我们提供了两种构造动作链条的句式：
1. A, B and C（连词连接动词们）
2. 使用非谓语
A, B and C 结构
我们先看一下“A, B and C结构”。下面我用三个句子来说明这个结构，每个例子我将
停顿三秒钟，正在听这个课程的你，你可以抓住这宝贵的三秒钟，快速思考，如果是自己
来写，会怎么写？如果刚开始觉得有困难，可以先想中文思路。
第一句：“男孩们跳入湖中嬉戏”
想一想：跳入湖中，这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作？跳入湖里嬉戏 = 冲向湖边 + 脱掉衣服 + 跳入水中
The boys rushed excitedly to the lake, took off their clothes and jumped into the water.（孩子
们兴奋地冲到湖边，脱下衣服，跳进了水里。）
第二句，“她抱住儿子”（停顿三秒钟）
想一想：抱住儿子，这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作？
抱住儿子 = 冲向前 + 蹲下 + 一把抱住
She dashed forward, knelt down and gathered her son into her arms.（她向前冲过去，跪下
来，把儿子抱在怀里。）
第三句，“这个歌手唱歌”
想一想：歌手唱歌，这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作？
歌手唱歌 = 扫视观众 + 深吸一口气 + 开始演唱
The singer glanced at the audience, took a deep breath and began to sing.（歌手瞥了看观众，
深吸了一口气，开始唱歌。
使用非谓语
下面仍然用三种方式和三个句子来说明这种描写动作的句子结构，每个例子我仍然停顿三
秒钟。
第一种句子模式：-ing现在分词,凸显同一对象同时发生不同的动作。
第1个例句，“老人静坐”
想一想：老人静坐，这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作？（停顿三秒钟）好！我来公布参
考答案。
老人静坐=坐在夕阳下 + 看报纸 + 听广播
The old man sat under the sunset, reading the newspaper and listening to the radio.第二种句子模式：having done 表现动作先后关系
第2个例句，“没有买到票”
想一想：“买票”这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作？
没有买到票= 排了很久队 + 被告知票卖完了
Having queued for 3 hours, he was told that the ticket had been sold out.
第三种句子模式. -ed过去分词凸显被动
第3个例句，“孩子们哭了”
想一想：“哭”这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作？或者因为什么原因让孩子哭
感动哭了= 被感动 + 哭了
Deeply moved by the story, the children began to cry.
【模拟题 1】（2022·广东深圳·一模）
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Last March, Margarito drove to visit his mother who lived in the countryside. When he set off
for home, Margarito’s mother looked at the dark sky and noticed the sign of a coming storm.
Worried about her son’s safety, she told him to drive as carefully as possible on his way home and
he promised to give her a call upon his arrival.
With his mother’s words in mind, Margarito approached the main road carefully. Soon, it
started to rain heavily. Eager to get home, Margarito began to drive faster. Two hours later, he
came to a bumpy mountain road that had been flooded by a creek (小溪). Margarito, driving a
four-wheel drive truck, figured that he would be OK. At that moment, he didn’t realize that such a
thought would be a big mistake.
It was halfway across the creek that an unfortunate incident took place: The rushing waters
grabbed hold of his vehicle, pushing it off the road and sending it down a rocky creek bed. The
truck finally stopped some 80 feet away. Margarito’s problems only grew from there as the waterhad somehow positioned the truck into the creek bank at a 45-degree angle, making it difficult for
him to open the driver’s side door. Injured and trapped inside with the muddy water rising quickly,
Margarito was certain he was going to die. Shaking with fear, he was at a loss about what to do.
On the road right behind Margarito were a delivery worker named Steve and his nephew
Mike, who were on the way to deliver furniture to customers in the countryside. They witnessed
the horrible incident, and when Margarito’s truck came to rest in the middle of the overflowing
creek, Steve quickly began to take action. First, he grabbed a rope from the back of his vehicle and
used it to ensure he could safely approach the truck.
注意：
1. 续写词数应为150左右；
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Next, he turned to Mike and yelled, “Give me a rock!”
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Margarito was about to thank Steve and Mike when the mobile phone in his jacket pocket rang.
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【模拟题 2】（2022·山东临沂·一模）
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
As a nurse at the cancer care center where I’ve worked for seven years, I’ll do almost
anything to make a patient feel better. But when I met Patty at the center, in 2011, she didn’t want
my help.
She was a tiny 44-year-old single mom battling an aggressive head and neck cancer. Unlike
many of our other patients, Patty was alone during her treatment, but no matter what I did. I
couldn't get her to open up. She just buried herself in book or pulled a blanket over her head to
fend off conversation.
Eventually I hit on a reliable way to make Patty smile: mentioning her nine-year-old son,
Stephen. She'd tell me how well he did in school, how he'd been selected to read a poem he wroteat a local bookstore. She desperately wanted to live for him. With three kids myself, I totally
understood how she felt.
After a year and a half of treatment, in August 2012, Patty was told her cancer had spread,
and I learned she wouldn't live much longer. My first thought was, “What's going to happen to
Stephen?”
Nurses at the center shared stories at their meetings about how bright and unusual the boy
was. but no one seemed to know how to resolve the issue of what would happen to him when his
mom died. My husband, Michael, who too works at the center, started hearing about Patty and
Stephen.
One morning in October, Patty quietly slipped away. Michael and I picked Stephen up after
school, drove him to a nearby park, and sat on a bench by a pond. I finally managed to say,
“Stephen, we're sorry to have to tell you this, but your mom came to an end this morning.” The
sound that came out of his mouth was like nothing I'd ever heard before. This skinny little guy sat
between the two of us and just wailed (哀号) and wailed. It was as if his whole world was just
destroyed.
注意：
1.续写词数应为150左右；
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Something inside me was telling me what to do.
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Finally, we took him home with us.
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【模拟题 3】（2022·江苏南通·一模）
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Thank you, Ma’am
Just an act of kindness changed a boy’s life forever.She was a large woman with a large purse that had everything in it but a hammer and nails. It
had a long strap, and she carried it across her shoulder. It was about eleven o’clock at night, dark
and she was walking along, when a boy ran up behind her and tried to seize her purse.
But the boy’s weight and the weight of the purse combined caused him to lose his balance.
He fell on his back on the sidewalk and his legs flew up. The large woman simply turned around,
reached down, picked the boy up by his shirt front, and shook him until his teeth rattled（发出格
格声）.
After that the woman said, “Pick up my pocketbook, boy, and give it here.” She still held him
tightly. But she bent down enough to permit him to pick up her purse. Then she said, “Now ain’t
you ashamed of yourself?”
By that time two or three people passed, stopped, turned to look, and some stood watching.
She did not release him. “Lady, I’m sorry,” whispered the boy.
“Um-hum! Your face is dirty. Ain’t you got anybody home to tell you to wash your face?”
“No’m” said the boy.
“Then it will get washed this evening,” said the large woman, starting up the street, dragging
the frightened boy behind her.
He looked as if he were fourteen or fifteen in tennis shoes and blue jeans.
The woman said, “You ought to be my son. I would teach you right from wrong. Least I can
do right now is to wash your face. Are you hungry?”
“No’m,” said the being-dragged boy. “I just want you to turn me loose.”
But the woman continued to drag him up the street. When she got to her door, she dragged
the boy inside.
注意：1. 续写词数应为150左右；
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
“Go to that sink and wash your face,” said the women.
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When they had finished eating, she got up and took out ten dollars from the purse.
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【模拟题 4】（2022·广东光明·二模）
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
The Nunes’s family lived in a friendly community near the woods. It was a normal
Wednesday afternoon Mom Araceli Nunes returned home from selling food and drinks along the
roadside in Plantersville, Texas. Her business had been fairly profitable and she was happy to see
her husband preparing dinner in the kitchen and her 3-year-old son, Christopher Ramirez, playing
in the yard. However, when she turned to unload her car, she didn’t notice the kid followed a
neighbor’s dog into the woods.
When they couldn’t find Christopher, the panicky family called for help, and within a few
hours, 48 different agencies arrived to comb through the area around their home. Their entire
community started to help find Christopher. Some walked into the forest and others drove farther
away.
After days with no sign of the kid, rescuers feared the worst, but Araceli never stopped
hoping for her son’s safe return. At long last, after four long days and nights, the sheriff received a
phone call from a man named Tim Halfin.
Tim Halfin’s house was about three miles away. He had heard of the missing boy when he
returned home from a business trip. He didn't think a three-year-old could walk that far to where
he lived. However, as all the previous searching efforts were in vain, he decided to try his luck
around his own house.
Not long after he went out into the woods, he was surprised by what came into his sight.
There was Christopher! Aside from being dehydrated and very hungry, the kid was completely
unharmed. He was found outside the range where authorities were looking for him, so it’s pretty
amazing that Tim discovered him.
注意：
1.续写的词数应为150左右；
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
When Tim picked him up, the kid was still conscious.
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Christopher spent two days recovering at Texas Children’s Hospital before he was taken
home.
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【模拟题 5】（2022·福建漳州·二模）
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Teen Becomes A Local Hero
When Sydney Raley headed into her weekend shift on Saturday, December 18, she likely
expected to do more of the same: Stand at the drive-through window, take orders over the headset,
and hand each customer their meal with a smile.
In fact. that’s exactly how it started. Sydney Raley has been working at MC Donald’s for
about seven months and so far, it’s been her typical after-school job. The day had been mostly
normal -making coffee, making drinks, and going into the lunch rush.
But a few hours into her shift. things took a dramatic turn. After handing a customer some of
their food, Sydney let them know that more would be coming as soon as it was ready. But just
seconds later, she noticed a terrible look of panic spread across the woman’s face. Then came the
coughing. She was coughing like crazy and was speechless. Her daughter was in the passenger
seat and looked extremely confused and frightened.
Sydney immediately knew she was choking. The first aid training Sydney received more than
four years ago hit her. Most 15-year-olds might panic at the sight of this. But not Sydney. Instead,
the teen remained calm and quickly shouted to both her manager and the woman’s daughter to dial
911. Then, she dove through the drive-through window and came to the rescue.
The teen pushed the driver’s side door forcefully open and got the choking woman to her
feet. Then she dug down deep into her memory bank to recall everything she learned from her Red
Cross babysitter class-which she’d taken four years earlier. All that training of how to use the
Heimlich maneuver(哈姆立克急教法)immediately kicked in. Still, she had never actually had to
use the life-saving technique before, and after a few tries, it wasn’t quite working. Luckily, anothercustomer was just a few feet away in the parking lot.
注意：
1.续写词数应为150左右；
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
She shouted to that man for assistance.
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The story has made headlines throughout the country.
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【模拟题 6】（2022·广东·执信中学模拟预测）
阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。
I love to play the piano and I greatly enjoy performing my songs, so when the annual winter
recital was canceled, I was disappointed. I had looked forward to it for a long time and had already
prepared two of my best songs.
My mom had a wonderful idea, however, to turn this disappointing letdown into something
worthwhile. “You can perform your songs at Carriage House Senior Living,” my mom suggested
brightly. “I’m sure the seniors there who do not have families visit them that often, would really
appreciate the music and you could play more than just two songs.”
I immediately thought this was a great idea. One of the things I did not like about the recitals
was that I was limited to playing just a couple of songs. Playing the piano at Carriage House
seemed like a win-win situation because not only would I get to play more songs, but I would also
have the chance to cheer up the residents there with some lively tunes.
My mom called Carriage House and made arrangements for me to perform. In the coming
days, I worked especially hard to polish up fifteen pieces that I thought the crowd would enjoy,
including many old classics.
When the much-anticipated day finally arrived, my family and I drove to Carriage House.
Walking through the enormous double doors, we stepped into an entryway that overlooked thespacious grand dining room. Right at the entrance to the dining room stood the piano as if it were
just waiting to make some music to liven the place up a bit. At nearly every table several gray-
haired women or men were seated enjoying their dinner and the company that the crowded room
provided. Despite the conversations going on at various tables though, isolation hung like a dark
cloud in the room.
Almost immediately, we were greeted by an old woman with a walker who introduced herself
as Phyllis in charge of Carriage House. She welcomed me and led me to the stage.
注意:
1. 续写词数应为150左右；
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
As I sat down on the bench, I pressed a key on the piano and was surprised to hear no sound.
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Nervousness melted away and I started to enjoy the performance with the old.
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