文档内容
► 第 04 讲 脱险类（讲义）
目录
目标1 脱险类续写概述
目标2 恶劣环境来铺垫
目标3 心理感受来烘托
目标4 外貌神态来助力
目标5 谋篇布局有起伏
目标6 万能升华来点睛
目标7 最新模拟
目标8 真题感悟
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读后续写中会遇到描写森林迷路、地震、水灾、火灾等内容的故事，如果涉及到对生命造成一定威胁
的情节，我们就把这类文章归为“脱险型”。在近年高考真题中，如 2023年浙江卷1月蜂鸟脱困；2020
年浙江卷1月遇到北极熊；2018年浙江卷6月森林遇险。
如何续写好此类文章呢？清代袁枚《随园诗话》中说过，“文似看山不喜平”，就提出过写文章好比观
赏山峰那样，不喜欢平坦，喜欢起伏。而读后续写中，情节的跌宕起伏就是一种极好的提升文章整体水平
的手法。这种转折即由“负”变“正”；或由“正”变“负”。最终体现正能量的结局，就是由“正”变
“负”。
【写作步骤】
一 恶劣环境来铺垫
1. The water was deep and running fast from a big rainstorm the night before.
前天晚上下了一场大暴雨，水又深又急。
2. The water twisted and turned him, scraping him against the rocks as he was carried along. Water
gushed into his mouth and up his nose.
水流不停地扭动着他，旋转着他，把他蹭在岩石上。水灌进他的嘴里，没过了他的鼻子。
3. What's worse, he didn't have any food or water with him, let alone his cell phone or other
supplies.
更糟糕的是，他没有任何食物和水，更不要说他的手机和其他日用品。
4. The sky is overcast, darkened with gloomy clouds.
天空阴沉，乌云密布。
5.The icy wind started howling, stinging my face.
寒风开始咆哮，刺痛了我的脸。
6.The wind was howling and the waves smacked repeatedly against her face.风在呼啸着，海浪不停地拍打着她的脸。
7.But then, as I looked in the distance, I discovered a series of three or four big waves heading towards the
shore.
但后来，当我往远处看时，我发现有三四个大浪正在冲向海岸。
8.It swayed violently in a strong wind. Its roadway was damaged by vehicles. Its access was blocked by
many people.
它在强风中剧烈摇晃。车辆损坏了道路。许多人堵住了通道。
9.The angry waves crashed against the side of the boat, with water splashing here and there.
愤怒的海浪拍打向船的一侧，水到处飞溅。
二 心理感受来烘托
1. An ominous thought crossed his mind: I’m going to die up here.
一个不祥的念头掠过他的脑海：我要死在这了。
2. Looking at the vast sea, I felt a sense of fear surging through my whole body.
看着浩瀚的大海，我感到一种恐惧感掠过我的全身。
3. Salt stinging my eyes, I could hardly tell how long I could hold on.
盐刺痛了我的眼睛，我几乎不知道我能坚持多久。
4.Grief comes in waves.
悲伤如潮水一般涌来。
5. With a pounding heart and cold, moist palms, I felt faint.
最后一句话像一颗子弹击中了我的心。
6.Afraid and merely desperate, she rushed towards him.
她害怕而绝望，向他冲去。
三 外貌神态来烘托
1. Hearing the bad news, Mary froze with shock, as if rooted on the ground.
听到这个坏消息，玛丽吓得愣住了，好像长在了地上。
2.Tears blurred her eyes.
泪水模糊了她的双眼。
3. I sobbed bitterly, tasting the salt from the tears that streamed down my face.
我痛苦地抽泣着，尝到脸上流下泪水咸咸的味道。
4.She calmed down to keep the rhyme of breathing so that she could breathe evenly.
她平静下来，保持呼吸的韵律，以便能够均匀地呼吸。
5.I glanced back over my shoulder to make sure that no one was following me.
我回头瞟了一眼以确保没有人跟踪我。
四 谋篇布局有起伏
1. Ultimately, we were back, safe and sound.最终，我们又回来了，安然无恙。
2. We jumped into the warm vehicle and the forester drove us to the ranger station, where we were
given clothes and were able to call our parents.
我们跳上了温暖的车，森林管理员开车把我们送到护林员站，在那里我们得到了衣服，并可以打电话给我
们的父母。
3. Suddenly it occurred to us that we could keep to the track to guide us back.But it was
getting darker and darker, thus making it increasingly difficult for us to make out the road.
突然我们想到我们可以坚持小路引导我们回去。但天色越来越暗，使我们走道路越来越困难。
五 万能升华来点睛
脱险类的文章有一个万能的表达“这是一次难忘的经历”。
万能升华1：
That day was so unforgettable that it would stay in my memory forever.
句意：那天是如此难忘，它将永远留在我的记忆。
遇到危险并且最终成功脱险的经历，想必对我们每个人来说一定是一生中难忘的经历。
本句中使用了so...that的句式结构：如此......以至于。unforgettable是一个形容词，表示“无法忘记的”。
万能升华2：
It was this unique experience that made me understand whatever difficulty we are faced with, we
mustn’t give up our hope.
句意：正是这种独特的经历让我明白了我们所面临的任何困难，我们都不能放弃希望。
本句为复合句，运用强调句it was...that...、定语从句that...、宾语从句whatever...，属于高级句式。
万能升华3：
As long as we don’t give up hope and make every effort to overcome all the difficulties, we will
surely make a success sooner or later.
句意：只要我们不放弃希望，不尽一切努力克服一切困难，我们迟早一定会取得成功的。
本句是复合句。As long as引导状语从句，且句子运用较多短语如make a success, soon or later等。
万能升华4：
Only then did I realize that it was bravery that can conquer whatever difficulty came in the way.
句意：直到那时，我才意识到，正是勇敢才能克服一切困难。
遇到危险后，勇敢面对，才能解决问题。这个句子突出了“勇敢”这个核心，这在“脱险型”的故事里，
是非常恰当的。这句话使用了倒装的结构和强调结构结合的方式，也属于高分亮点句。
【最新模拟】
（2023年湖南长沙一中校考阶段练习）
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
A Foothold in Life
A dozen children ran around laughing and playing in my friend’s yard, while we parents sat chatting and
sipping cool summer drinks. The barbecue had been cleared away when our host announced a surprise. A hugemovable rock wall was loaded in, which was about twelve feet wide, made of gray molded plastic with indented
footholds that stretched straight up for what looked like at least a hundred feet. The enthusiastic kids swiftly lined
up to give it a try, and with the complete fearlessness most children possess, scrambled to the top and rang the bell
that hung at the highest point. There wasn’t really anything to be afraid of since they were belted into place. Three
people could climb side by side and talk to each other, so gradually the adults tried it, too.
“Come on; let’s go get in line,” my husband Neil urged. “No, you go ahead without me.” I had all sorts of
good excuses: I don’t have the right shoes; I forgot my sunglasses; I have to help the hostess. I have a unique talent
for seeing unthinkable danger in almost every situation, and this scene seemed dangerous to me. I watched
everyone else having fun, though, and finally convinced myself to try it.
With all the nerve I could gather, I started the climb. The belt wrapped around me like a diaper so there was no
way to fall. Yes, I thought, this is fun and safe! Concentrating on each foothold, I slowly made my way up. I
avoided looking down to prevent any sudden panic, and within a few minutes I made it to the top and proudly rang
the bell.
“Woo hoo!” my daughters called up to me. “Way to go, Col!” Neil yelled.
I enjoyed my success and the enjoyable view of fields and farmland until I realized there was a line below me
waiting for a turn. It was time to go down.
注意：
1.续写词数应为150左右；
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
It was one thing to look out at the world in the distance, but it was a whole other thing to look straight down.
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Finally, the two of us reached the ground.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________
【答案】
It was one thing to look out at the world in the distance, but it was a whole other thing to look straight down.
My legs were shaking uncontrollably and my grip on the handholds was slipping. （细节描写）I could hear my
family calling up recommendations to me. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I tried to calm myself down.
（心理描写，神态描写） And then, I felt a gentle hand on my back. “It’s okay,” a kind voice said. “I’m here to
help you down.” I turned to see a friendly face, someone I had only met briefly before, but who had clearly seen my
distress and come to my aid. With her support, I was able to climb down, slowly but surely.Finally, the two of us reached the ground. I was overwhelmed with gratitude, and as I hugged my rescuer, I
realized that sometimes it’s okay to admit when we need help.（情感描写） It’s okay to be afraid, and it’s okay to
lean on others when we’re feeling unsure. On my drive home, I couldn’t stop thinking about the rock wall. It had
been a symbol of my own self-doubt and fear, but I had conquered it. （心理描写）I felt like I had a new foothold
in life, a new sense of confidence that I could take on whatever challenges came my way.
【导语】本文以人物为线索展开，讲述了作者和家人去朋友家聚会，主人准备了可移动的岩石墙，大家都
热情地排着队攀爬，但是作者找各种借口不去爬，最后在家人的鼓励下，终于鼓足勇气爬上去了，看到了
远处的另一个世界，非常开心。
【详解】1.段落续写：
①由第一段首句内容“从远处看世界是一回事，但向下看完全是另一回事。”可知，第一段可描写作者想
下去的时候往下看非常害怕，最后在其他人的帮助下往下爬。
②由第二段首句内容“最后，我们两个到了地面。”可知，第二段可描写作者最后爬下来，感激救命恩人
并对此事进行感悟。
1. 续写线索：害怕下去——其他人帮助——稳稳下来——感激恩人——感悟
2. 词汇激活
行为类
①. 吸气：take a breath/breathe in
②. 考虑：think about/think over/consider
情绪类
①. 友好的：friendly / amicable/ kind
②. 感激地：with gratitude / gratefully
[高分句型1] Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I tried to calm myself down.
我闭上眼睛，深呼吸，试图让自己冷静下来（本句属于外貌神态描写，并且运用了现在分词作状语）
[高分句型2] I turned to see a friendly face, someone I had only met briefly before, but who had clearly seen my
distress and come to my aid.
我转过身来，看到一张友好的脸，我以前只见过一次，但他清楚地看到了我的痛苦，并来帮助我。
（本句属于细节描写，并含有省略关系代词的限制性定语从句）
[高分句型3] I felt like I had a new foothold in life, a new sense of confidence that I could take on whatever
challenges came my way.
我觉得我在生活中有了一个新的立足点，一种新的信心，我可以接受我遇到的任何挑战。
（本句属于结尾升华句子，运用宾语从句和that连接的同位语从句）
【真题感悟】
1. （2020年浙江卷6月）
阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。
One fall, my wife Elli and I had a single goal: to photograph polar bears. We were staying at a research campoutside “the polar bear capital of the world”-the town of Churchill in Manitoba, Canada.
Taking pictures of polar bears is amazing but also dangerous. Polar bears-like all wild animals should be
photographed from a safe distance. When I'm face to face with a polar bear, I like it to be through a camera with a
telephoto lens. But sometimes，that is easier said than done. This was one of those times.
As Elli and I cooked dinner, a young male polar bear who was playing in a nearby lake sniffed, and smelled
our garlic bread.
The hungry bear followed his nose to our camp, which was surrounded by a high wire fence. He pulled and
bit the wire. He stood on his back legs and pushed at the wooden fence posts.
Terrified, Elli and I tried all the bear defense actions we knew. We yelled at the bear, hit pots hard，and fired
blank shotgun shells into the air. Sometimes loud noises like these will scare bears off. Not this polar bear though-
he just kept trying to tear down the fence with his massive paws(爪子).
I radioed the camp manager for help. He told me a helicopter was on its way, but it would be 30 minutes
before it arrived. Making the best of this close encounter(相遇), I took some pictures of the bear.
Elli and I feared the fence wouldn’t last through 30 more minutes of the bear's punishment. The camp manager
suggested I use pepper spray. The spray burns the bears’ eyes, but doesn't hurt them. So I approached our uninvited
guest slowly and，through the fence, sprayed him in the face. With an angry roar(吼叫), the bear ran to the lake to
wash his eyes.
注意:1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右；
2. 至少使用5个短文中标有下划线的关键词语；
3. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；
4. 续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。
Paragraph1:A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our
camp.________________________________________________________________________________________
________________
Paragraph2:At that very moment, the helicopter
arrived.______________________________________________________________________________________
_________________
【答案】
A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp, then we realized the spray had only angered him even
more, for he seemed much fiercer this time and violently pushed the fence like mad. My heart raced wildly, not
knowing what to do. At this critical moment, Elli grabbed several pieces of garlic bread and threw them over the
fence. It worked! The bear stopped the attack and ran to the bread. But it wasn’t long before he eat up all the
bread and came back again.
At that very moment, the helicopter arrived. “Thank goodness we are saved!” Elli cried out. Once the
helicopter landed, we got onto it in no time, excited and relieved. When we were safe on the helicopter up in the
air, I was amazed to the spot that the bear had finally tore down the fence and ran towards the food we left behind.
I quickly took out the camera and photographed the rare scene- we were robbed by a polar bear.
【分析】本文以事件为线索展开，讲述了作者和妻子前往被称为“北极熊之都”的加拿大丘吉尔镇拍摄北极熊。夫妻二人做饭之时，一头饥饿的雄性幼熊跟着面包的蒜香味，靠近了营地，猛烈撞击营地边上的铁
丝围栏。作者和妻子使出浑身解数，想吓退这头熊，不料它“不破篱笆誓不归”。无奈之下，作者求助营
地管理员，被告知救援直升机要30分钟后才能赶到，只得先尝试用胡椒喷雾喷洒北极熊的眼睛，不料这使
熊变得更加暴躁，在千钧一发之际直升机及时赶到，他们得救了的故事。
【详解】1.段落续写：
由第一段首句内容“几分钟后，熊返回了我们的营地。”可知，第一段可描写作者夫妻二人如何再次对付
熊及两人在此过程中的紧张害怕。
由第二段首句内容“就在那时，直升机赶到了。”可知，第二段可描写作者夫妻二人获救时的心情。
2. 续写线索：熊返回营地——紧张害怕——用面包攻击——直升机赶到——快速登上飞机——熊把篱笆
推到——拍下熊“打劫”的画面
3. 词汇激活
行为类
①激怒：anger/provoke / enrage
②抓起：grab/snatch up
③拿出：take out/fetch out
情绪类
①疯狂的：mad/crazy
②兴奋的：excited/thrilled
【点睛】[高分句型1] then we realized the spray had only angered him even more, for he seemed much fiercer
this time and violently pushed the fence like mad. My heart raced wildly.（for引导的原因状语从句）
[高分句型2] My heart raced wildly, not knowing what to do. （现在分词作状语）
[高分句型3] Once the helicopter landed, we got onto it in no time, excited and relieved. (once引导时间状语从句
和形容词作状语)
