26年11月云南师大实验中学8年级期中考作文评析

你校校刊英语专栏正在开展以"A Sweet Day"为题的征文比赛，请你用英语写一篇短文参赛。叙述生活中你和家人共同度过幸福充实、其乐融融的一天。(如:与家人一起分享家务、走进大自然、共同准备美食、欢度节日、走进博物馆、享受阅读...)，并谈谈家人陪伴给我们带来的积极感受。(如:爱、温暖、幸福、安全感....··)。

与家人（family）相关的活动，同学们应该不会无话可说吧！从教材关联的角度看，Family正是人教版新教材七年级上册第2单元（We're Family!）的核心话题。不久前，我们才为大家分析过一篇family话题的考场作文。回顾请戳👇：

26年11月云大附中七年级期中考作文评析

从素材选取上看，本次写作的选择空间很大。无论是分担家务、走进大自然、准备美食，还是欢度节日、参观博物馆，只要能够体现一家人相处时的温馨与快乐，都可以成为写作素材。我们建议同学们优先选择自己熟悉、能够用英语准确描述的生活经历，不必刻意追求情节的新颖。

在内容组织上，考生可以按照时间顺序展开叙述，适当加入家人之间的互动和情感描写，避免写成简单的活动流水账。

与常见的初中考场“鸡汤叙事”作文一样，出题人还要求考生在文末“谈谈感受”。这一部分只需紧扣家人陪伴带来的爱、温暖与幸福，适当升华主题，呼应标题中的“Sweet”即可。

   A Sweet Day

Spending time with my family always makes me happy. Last Sunday, I had a sweet and unforgettable day with my parents in nature.

That morning, we went hiking in the mountains near our city. Along the way, we enjoyed the beautiful scenery, listened to birds singing and took many photos. The fresh air made us feel relaxed. While walking, we talked about our school life, work and future plans. My parents also shared some funny stories from their childhood, which made me laugh a lot. Although we felt a little tired, we were all in a good mood.

What a sweet day it was! I realized that spending time with my family not only helps me relax but also makes me feel loved and happy.

王老师采用了经典的三段式结构，层次清晰，主题鲜明。首段直接点题，强调家人陪伴能带来的快乐；第二段选取与父母在大自然中徒步、赏景、聊天，通过“listened to birds singing” “shared some funny stories”等细节展现家庭相处的温馨与幸福，素材选取恰当，叙事自然生动；末段以“feel loved and happy”升华主题，突出亲情的温暖与陪伴的意义，紧扣“A Sweet Day”这一写作主题。

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