文档内容
精炼语言确保首尾照应
【真题再现】
(2023·浙江1月高考)
I was invited to a cookout on an old friend’s farm in western Washington.I parked my car
outside the farm and walked past a milking house which had apparently not been used in many
years.A noise at a window caught my attention, so I entered it.It was a hummingbird (蜂鸟),
desperately trying to escape.She was covered in spider-webs (蛛网) and was barely able to move
her wings.She ceased her struggle the instant I picked her up.
With the bird in my cupped hand, I looked around to see how she had gotten in.The broken
window glass was the likely answer.I stuffed a piece of cloth into the hole and took her outside,
closing the door securely behind me.
When I opened my hand, the bird did not fly away; she sat looking at me with her bright
eyes.I removed the sticky spider-webs that covered her head and wings.Still, she made no attempt
to fly.Perhaps she had been struggling against the window too long and was too tired? Or too
thirsty?
As I carried her up the blackberry-lined path toward my car where I kept a water bottle, she
began to move.I stopped, and she soon took wing but did not immediately fly away.
Hovering (悬停), she approached within six inches of my face.For a very long moment, this
tiny creature looked into my eyes, turning her head from side to side.Then she flew quickly out of
sight.
During the cookout, I told my hosts about the hummingbird incident.They promised to fix the
window.As I was departing, my friends walked me to my car.I was standing by the car when a
hummingbird flew to the center of our group and began hovering.She turned from person to
person until she came to me.She again looked directly into my eyes, then let out a squeaking call
and was gone.For a moment, all were speechless.Then someone said, “She must have come to say
goodbye.”
注意:续写词数应为 150个左右。
A few weeks later, I went to the farm again. _____________________________
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____________________________________________________________________I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared. _________________
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【解题策略】
第一步 根据续写第一段第一句推出首段续写“三要点”
首句 A few weeks later, I went to the farm again.
My thoughts drifted back to the moment when I rescued the hummingbird. I couldn’t
梗概
help wondering how she was getting on now.
As my car neared it my thoughts drifted back to the moment when I rescued the
第二句
hummingbird from spider-webs.
Had she managed to find her way home, or was she still out there somewhere struggling
尾句
to survive?
第二步 根据续写第二段第一句推出第二段续写“两要点”
首句 I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared.
梗概 I turned around to see the same hummingbird hovering in the air.
...I would always cherish the memories we shared as I climbed into my car and drove
尾句
away.
第三步 根据“情感线”和“情节线”列出写作关键句
情感线 I was in great comfort→I felt a surge of relief and awe
I went to the farm again→my thoughts drifted back to the past moment→I rushed to
the deserted house→it was a great comfort→I wondered how she was getting on;
情节线
I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared→it seemed that she was
waiting for me→I climbed into my car and drove away
第四步 谋篇成文,文字流畅
考场高分作文 续写高分亮点秀
①使用when引导定语从
A few weeks later, I went to the farm again.As my car
句。
neared it my thoughts drifted back to the moment when I rescued ②使用 be nowhere to be
the hummingbird from spider-webs. ①I rushed back to the
done,语言准确、地道。
deserted house.It was a great comfort that the original hole in the
window was nowhere to be found. ②Leaving the house, I ③句中包括动词-ing短语
couldn’t help wondering how she was getting on now. ③ Had she 作状语;动词-ing形式作宾
managed to find her way back home, or was she still out there 语及 how 引导的宾语从
somewhere struggling to survive?④ 句。
I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared. ④句中 or 并列连接两个
⑤A flash of movement caught my attention.I turned around to 疑问句。
see the same hummingbird hovering in the air.It seemed that the
⑤句中使用了句型“be
bird was waiting for me, her beady eyes locked on mine as if
about to do...when”,意思是
trying to convey some deep, unspoken gratitude. ⑥I felt a surge
“ 正 要 做 … … 这
of relief and awe at the sight of this sound and grateful creature,
时……”。
and I knew that I would always cherish the memories we shared
as I climbed into my car and drove away. ⑦ ⑥使用了句型 It seems
that...。⑦句是一个复杂的句式,
第三个and并列连接了两
个句子,其中后句是复合
句,包括宾语、定语和状
语三大从句形式。
【技巧分析】
一、开头6大设计技巧
开头形式 真题回放
But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark again. Immediately, an
副词
absolute darkness ruled the forest.
形容词短 Suddenly a little rabbit jumped out in front of my horse. Afraid that I might
语 hurt the lovely small creature, I automatically let out a cry to stop my horse.
It was daybreak when Jane woke up. Feeling refreshed, she continued to walk
非谓语
along the stream to find the way out.
We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn’t look at me. I said gently
对话式
and quietly, “No one can change your mind, except yourself.”【新高考Ⅰ卷2022】
I understood immediately what my parents were worried about. They were
问答式
worried that I was too selfish to give. 【浙江高考2021】
The pay arrived at last. Although the job was very tiring, I was very happy in my
因果式
heart for I got something from my work. 【浙江高考2021】
二、收尾3大设计技巧
收尾形
真题回放
式
The twins were filled with excitement as they thought of the surprise they were
planning for Mother’s Day.(首句)
首尾呼
应 Mother hugged them tightly and kissed them again and again. (尾句)
【新高考Ⅰ卷2021】
Just as the saying goes, one person can go far, but a group of persons can travel farther.
名言警 (尾句)
句
【浙江高考1月2022】
情感、 It was his brave heart and strong faith that could make something unusual happen
finally. (尾句)
思想升
华 【新高考 Ⅰ 卷2022】
【拓展演练】
1．阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Laughter is said to be the best medicine in our life. Nothing works faster or more
dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. Laughter lightens
your burdens, inspires hope, connects you to others, and keeps you more focused on the positive. I
like to laugh and be happy whenever there is a reason for it. Cracking jokes usually makes ushappy and light-hearted after a day of hard work, and so do many funny incidents which we may
sometimes experience in our daily life.
However, today, I would like to talk about a funny incident that happened to me a few years
ago, when I was still a student at primary school. That very incident took place at a birthday party
held at my aunt’s house. In fact, it was a birthday party held for one of my little cousins.
On that special occasion, everybody, including all of my family members, close relatives
and some of the little friends of my cousin’s, was invited to the party on a lovely summer evening
in order to enjoy the party. By the way, the party was supposed to be concluded as early as
possible, because all the little guests, friends of my cousin’s, needed to return to their homes safely
before it was getting too late at night. So, after several hours of busy preparations, the party
formally started at around 8 pm. The adults and the kids all came up to the table and gently opened
up the various colorful gift boxes one by one with a formal ceremony. Once we were done with
opening the gift boxes, the time came for us to sing the “Happy Birthday to You” song in chorus,
and we all sang the song in order to wish a very happy birthday to my little cousin. Finally came
the moment we all had been waiting for eagerly. And we were ready to open the cake box and cut
the birthday cake.
注意： 1.续写词数应为150个左右；
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
To our surprise, the cake had already been cut!
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Hearing what my aunt said, we expressed our willingness to give our share to the homeless.
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2．阅读下面的材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
It was the day of the class election, a moment I had anticipated（期待） for weeks. This
time, I was determined not to experience another defeat as I had had the year before. I had made
more posters and written a better speech. I had been through a whole year of high school, met
more people and made more friends. By working hard on class committee activities all year, I had
proved my worth even without a job title.
I made my way to the center of the room, feeling a rush of growing anxiety as I prepared to
address my large class. Introducing myself with a smile and listing my achievements, I hoped
nobody could tell that my calm exterior（外表） did not match how I felt inside.
As I delivered my speech, the well-prepared two-minute time limit felt like an hour.
Finishing my speech with a slogan, “Please believe me and vote for me,” I almost shrank,
realizing it might not be a smart move.
I made my way back to my chair, trying to remember how to sit gracefully in a skirt. My
hands were shaking so much that I had trouble holding on to my speech. I barely noticed the
teacher call the name of my opponent（对手）, who was now walking up to read his speech. I
tried to listen, to compare, to predict my chances, but I had too many other thoughts flying through
my head.
I looked at the faces opposite me. My friends smiled at me and gave me an encouraging
thumbs-up sign when they caught my eye. As each of the next candidates read their speeches, I
debated my chances in my head.
I remembered my loss the previous year. I was depressed for an entire weekend. This time,
I would not get my hopes up.
Finally, it was time for me to head down to the office to hear the results.
注意：
1. 续写词数应为150左右；
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
As the teacher started to read the list, I stood still, anticipating the final item.
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The next year, I changed my strategy.
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3．阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
One day, my nine-year-old younger brother Jeff came home from school earlier than me.
When I returned home, I found he was shouting at our mom—who was busy cooking in the
kitchen—about the clothes that needed washing.
“Mom, why haven’t you washed my clothes?” he asked, pointing at the dirty clothes he had
taken off two days before. “I want to wear them tomorrow,” Jeff added. However, the clothes that
he was wearing still looked clean. “Dear, I’ll wash it after cooking,” Mom told Jeff, looking
anxious and upset. Without replying, Jeff unhappily went to his bedroom and closed the door, with
a long face.
I was shocked about Jeff’s bad behavior towards Mom. How unsympathetic he was! Our
washing machine had been out of order for two months. Because our parents were on a tight
budget and were too busy, they still didn’t buy a new one. So recently our family had to wash our
clothes by hand, which was time-wasting and truly hard work.
Just when I decided to scold (训斥) my little brother, Dad came home from work, and I told
him what had happened.
Dad was upset and felt sorry for Mom, knowing how hard she worked all day. She was a
saleswoman in a supermarket and did all she could to support our family. Often, Dad tried to help
with some of the housework. He didn’t want Mom to have too much burden, knowing her heavy
work as a saleswoman. I also tried to spare time to help do housework, sharing some of the familyburden. However, Jeff was a lazy and naughty (淘气) boy, who hardly did housework.
Now, our dad decided it was high time to teach him a lesson. “Jeff, come here,” Dad called
out. “I’ve some good news for you.” Jeff immediately came and asked excitedly, “What, Dad?”
“Your mom and I are too busy recently. Tonight, I want you to wash your own clothes,”Dad
smiled. Jeff immediately refused, shaking his head.
注意：
1. 续写词数应为150左右；
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
“Then, you won’t get your pocket money next week. I’m serious,” Dad replied.
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At 9 pm, Jeff was still struggling to rinse (漂洗) the clothes, realizing the work wasn’t easy
at all.
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4．阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
注意： 1. 续写词数应为150左右； 2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
She was the prettiest puppy we had ever seen, and the whole family immediately fell in
love with her. We named her Onyx because of her black, shiny black coat. She spent her first
vacation with us when she was only ten weeks old and had her first bath and swim in the St.
Lawrence River. We had no clue that this amazing little ball of fur would end up being our hero.
As she grew older, Onyx became more and more involved in our family activities. Onhot summer days, Onyx enjoyed floating on the river with us in her own rubber tube (橡皮圈).
Amazingly standing on the top of the tube, she smiled while showing off her perfect balance.
Resting her front legs and paws over the edge of the rubber tube, she kept her eyes shut as she
floated until she’d had enough of the warm sun on her black coat.
One day, our eighteen-year-old daughter, Margie, announced she was going to swim across
the bay. No one in the family was free to go swimming with her. The unwritten rules, regardless of
swimming ability, was to have a companion in the water with you, especially when swimming the
width of the bay. I was not a good swimmer, so I said to Margie, “Take Onyx with you.” Having
heard her name, Onyx woke up from a nap and was ready for action. Margie signed the dog to
follow her. Onyx ran to the water next to her. They entered the freezing river together and swam
side by side across the bay.
I watched from the bank as they reached the sandbar (沙洲) on the far shore. They rested a
few minutes before diving into the water for the return trip. I felt uneasy for some reason and
continued to watch the pair swim side by side.
Suddenly I heard Margie calling out, “I have a cram (痉挛) in the leg! ”
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Seeing the pair approaching the riverbank, I breathed a sigh of relief.
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参考答案
1.To our surprise, the cake had already been cut! What’s worse, almost half of the cake was
missing! Without a clue as to what exactly had really happened, we all started to look at each
other’s face in great shock. Then we suddenly noticed my aunt smiling in a corner of the room.
Once approached by us, she spared no time in letting out her secret about giving her “fair share”
of the cake to a homeless man in the street just now!
Hearing what my aunt said, we expressed our willingness to give our share to the homeless.
We all felt a sense of warmth and kindness spreading among us. We decided to join my aunt and
cut more cake to give to those in need. As we handed out the pieces of cake, smiles filled the faces
of the recipients and us. It was a beautiful moment, showing that even a small act of kindness can
make a big difference. We realized that this unexpected turn of events had turned into a
memorable and meaningful celebration.
【写作分析】本文是一篇记叙文，讲述了作者参加小表弟的生日聚会，发生了一些意外，
生日会还没开始蛋糕的一半就不见了，大家都很吃惊。得知原因后笑声在蔓延，温暖在增
加。笑声减轻了你的负担，激发了希望，把你和其他人联系起来，让你更加关注积极的一
面。
【要点解析】1.段落续写：
①由第一段首句内容“令我们惊讶的是，蛋糕已经被切开了！”可知，第一段可描写大家
看到切开并且少了一半的蛋糕时的心情、表情以及猜疑，阿姨的微笑揭开谜底。
②由第二段首句内容“听了阿姨的话，我们表示愿意为无家可归的人出一份力。”可知，
第二段可描写得知缘由后，大家愿意帮助更多的无家可归的人，温暖在蔓延，微笑更温暖。
此次生日聚会意义非凡。
2.续写线索：参加生日聚会——一半蛋糕不见了——震惊——揭秘：分给无家可归的人
——更多的人出一份力分发蛋糕——温暖在蔓延——生日聚会意义非凡
3.词汇激活
行为类
①产生重大影响：make a big difference / have a big influence
②注意到：noticed / observed
③揭露，泄露：let out/ reveal
情绪类
①非常震惊：in great shock / in great surprise / with a shock
②出乎意料的：unexpected / unpredicted【高分句型1】Without a clue as to what exactly had really happened, we all started to look at
each other’s face in great shock. (使用了what引导的宾语从句)
【高分句型2】As we handed out the pieces of cake, smiles filled the faces of the recipients and
us. (使用了As引导的时间状语从句)
2.
As the teacher started to read the list, I stood still, anticipating the final item. When I heard
the name of my opponent, all I wanted to do was get out of the office. Tears rolled down my face.
I was quite disappointed and upset. I had put in so much effort, and campaigned tirelessly, but still
failed. Back in the classroom, I bowed my head in silence. My friends gathered round to comfort
me. They encouraged me not to give up and to try again the next year. Their words brought me
strength and courage and helped me recognize that although I lost the election, I had made
progress. I could do better next time.
The next year, I changed my strategy. Instead of merely focusing on my own achievements, I
decided to listen to the concerns and ideas of my classmates. On the day of the class election, I
delivered a speech that not only highlighted my qualifications but also addressed the issues that
my classmates cared about. Finally, I won the election! It was a reminder that perseverance and
understanding the needs of others can lead to success. Win or lose, I had grown through the
process, and that, in itself, was a victory.
【写作分析】本文以人物为线索展开，讲述的是作者在第一次参与班级竞选时做了很多的
海报，写了一个很好的演讲，结果却落选了，后来在朋友的鼓励下作者决定继续参与第二
年的竞选，作者意识到必须要考虑到同学们的需求，而不仅仅是列举个人的优势，所以作
者决定改变策略，重新竞选，结果竞选成功，从这件事情中作者意识到坚持不懈和理解他
人的需要可以带来成功。
【要点解析】1. 段落续写：
①由第一段首句内容“当老师开始阅读清单时，我站着不动，期待着最后一项。”可知，
第一段可描写竞选名单公布，我落选，以及落选之后我内心的感受和朋友们对我的鼓励。
②由第二段首句内容“第二年，我改变了我的策略。”可知，第二段可描写我是如何改变
策略以及最终竞选成功及我的感悟。
2. 续写线索：名单公布——落选——难过——决心再次竞选——改变策略——竞选成功
——感悟。3. 词汇激活
行为类
①专注于：focus on/concentrate on/be centered on
②处理：address/deal with/handle
③突出；强调：highlight/emphasize/stress
情绪类
①失望的：disappointed/discouraged/ frustrated
②伤心的：upset/unhappy/unpleasant
【高分句型1】On the day of the class election, I delivered a speech that not only highlighted my
qualifications but also addressed the issues that my classmates cared about.(运用了that引导的定
语从句)
【高分句型2】It was a reminder that perseverance and understanding the needs of others can
lead to success.(运用了it作形式主语，that从句作真正主语的结构)
3．
“Then, you won’t get your pocket money next week. I’m serious,” Dad replied. Annoyed,
Jeff finally said, “All right. Anyway, washing clothes is a piece of cake.” “Sure,” I said, knowing
he’d soon regret his words. Then, Jeff began his washing work. Since he had seen us washing
clothes by hand several times, he knew the steps. After adding many drops of laundry detergent,
he used his hands to wash the clothes and said it was truly easy. However, when he began rinsing
the clothes, he met a challenge. After he rinsed the clothes several times, the water still looked
dirty, having lots of bubbles.
At 9 pm, Jeff was still struggling to rinse (漂洗) the clothes, realizing the work wasn’t easy
at all. “Do you still think washing the clothes a piece of cake?” Dad asked. Jeff shook his head,
embarrassed. Then, I helped him finish the remaining work of rinsing and drying. After that,
inspired by me and Dad, Jeff shamefully apologized to Mom for previously shouting at her. Mom
smiled at us, glad about Jeff’s change. After that day, we continued to encourage Jeff to do
housework. Now, he loved doing it; we were proud he grew to be an understanding kid.
【写作分析】本文以事件发展为线索展开，讲述了一个家庭故事，其中九岁的弟弟Jeff对
母亲态度粗鲁，不愿意洗衣服，父亲和哥哥决定教育他，让他自己洗衣服，从中体会到家
务的辛苦。
【要点解析】1. 段落续写：由第一段首句内容“‘那么，你下周的零花钱就没了。我是认真的’爸爸回答”可知，第
一段可以描写父亲对Jeff的惩罚和Jeff的反应。
由第二段首句内容“晚上9点，Jeff仍在努力漂洗衣服，意识到这项工作并不容易”可知，
第二段可以描写Jeff洗衣服的艰难过程以及他的感悟和最后的道歉。
2. 续写线索：父亲惩罚——Jeff洗衣服——遇到困难——哥哥帮助——Jeff感悟——向母
亲道歉
3. 词汇激活
行为类
①洗衣服：wash clothes/do laundry
②遇到：meet/encounter
③鼓励：encourage/urge
情绪类
①后悔：regret/be repentant
②自豪：proud/take pride in
[高分句型1] Anyway, washing clothes is a piece of cake. (使用了动名词短语作主语)
[高分句型2] However, when he began rinsing the clothes, he met a challenge. (使用了when引
导时间状语从句)
4．
Suddenly I heard Margie calling out, “I have a cram ( 痉李 ) in the leg! ” Seized with
panic, Margie rubbed her leg hard to relax the muscle but in vain. Seeing her struggling in the
water, Onyx immediately swam to the side of Margie and then put her head beneath the girl’s right
arm. I yelled for help for fear that they might freeze in the chilly river. But much to my joy, with
Margie tightly grabbing Onyx’s collar, our little furry friend began digging deep, slicing through
the water with her paws and swimming fast towards the bank with every ounce of strength.
Seeing the pair approaching the riverbank, I breathed a sigh of relief. When they
finally got to the shore, I reached out to help Margie, pulling her up onto the riverbank and
wrapping her in a large towel. Exhausted but excited, Onyx eagerly ran to Margie and gently
licked her face to make sure she was Okay, Everyone in the family was grateful for their safe
return and Onyx was given an extra treat later in the afternoon for her quick and brave reaction.
She became our hero that day and she never ceased to amaze us in the days that followed.
【写作分析】本文以人物为线索展开，讲述了作者养了一条狗，给它取名为Onyx，随着Onyx长大，它成为了家庭的一员，一天作者的女儿Margie打算游过海湾，但是没人陪她
一起，于是作者让Onyx陪着女儿，当女儿从海湾对面游回来时，突然她脚抽筋了，幸好
Onyx救了她，让作者对Onyx非常感激。
【要点解析】1. 段落续写：
①由第一段首句内容“突然，我听到Margie叫道：“我腿抽筋了！””可知，第一段可描
写Margie遇险，Onyx救助Margie的场景。
②由第二段首句内容“看到他们俩走近河岸，我松了一口气。”可知，第二段可描写Onyx
成功救下Margie，作者对它的感激之情。
2. 续写线索：Onyx成为家庭一员——女儿打算游过海湾——Onyx陪她一起——腿抽筋遇
险——Onyx及时救援——成功回到岸边——感激
3. 词汇激活
行为类
①看到：see/spot/notice
②大喊：yell/shout/bawl
③确保：make sure/ensure/guarantee
情绪类
①兴奋的：excited/thrilled/enthusiastic
②感激的：grateful/appreciative/thankful
[高分句型1]I yelled for help for fear that they might freeze in the chilly river.(运用了that引导
的同位语从句)
[高分句型2]When they finally got to the shore, I reached out to help Margie, pulling her up onto
the riverbank and wrapping her in a large towel.(运用了when引导的时间状语从句)
