读后续写微讲座四：读精(精析语言)
外刊输入——悟语言之道
Mother Nature Always Has a Surprise for Us Up Her Sleeve
When Mother Nature decides to unleash (发泄) her anger, there's very little we can do
except deal with it.
In the past year, a series of natural disasters has shocked the imagination and reminded us
of our human limitations. There have been floods, droughts and big earthquakes. They've shaken
our senses as they've affected big cities and small villages.
And now a volcano on Iceland erupts. After being inactive for almost 200 years, it has
been emitting (喷发) balls of fire, ice and a giant cloud of ash that has paralyzed much of
European air travel. It seems as if the sky was covered by a black curtain! What's worse, the air
feels difficult to breathe. The authorities called on people to avoid activities in the open air.
With all of our attempts to tame (驯服) or predict nature, we often find ourselves caught
off guard when “acts of God” challenge our understanding.
We put our trust in our dams and levees (堤岸), early warning systems and modernday
weather radar and the manpower we summon (召集) when uncontrollable forces strike us with
an intense fierceness.
Most often we can only respond to disaster rather than prevent the emergency. We suffer
the destruction, death and shortage of essential supplies. We have no choice but to try our best to
rescue as many as possible, bury the dead, rebuild from the ruins and move on.
Nature will always remind us that as long as we are on this Earth we will have to deal
with this planet's characteristics (特性) —its winds and waves, its fires and rain, and its
quakes and eruptions. We must accept its natural order and disorder so that we can survive.
When we start to get a little full of ourselves or attach too much importance to our
small accomplishments, remember that a little volcano (whose name most of us can't even
pronounce) sitting on a little island in the North Atlantic forces us to sit still in total wonderment or
even sweep away what we own now.
1.重点词汇再现
(1)disaster n. 灾害
(2)shock vt. (使)震惊
(3)flood n. 洪水
(4)drought n. 旱灾(5)affect vt. 侵袭
(6)volcano n. 火山
(7)erupt vi. (火山)爆发
(8)breathe vi. 呼吸
(9)in the open air 在户外
(10)strike v. 侵袭
(11)emergency n. 紧急情况
(12)death n. 死亡
(13)supply n. 补给品
(14)rescue v. 营救
(15)bury vt. 埋葬
(16)ruin n. 废墟
(17)survive vi. 存活；生存
(18)sweep away 消灭
2．经典句型再现：as if引导表语从句
It seems as if the sky was covered by a black curtain!
天空看起来好像被黑色的窗帘遮住了！
迷你语料库(Mini Corpus)
序号 佳句呈现 赏析
Strange things were happening 描写灾难前的场景。特别注
1 in the countryside of 意in the countryside 中使用
northeastern Hebei. 定冠词the。
Chickens and even pigs were 描写灾难发生前的动物异常
too nervous to eat, and dogs 情况。其中运用“too...to...”
2
refused to go inside 结构，意为“太……以至于
buildings. (不能)……”
At about 3：00 a．m., on 28
描写灾难前发生的异常情
July 1976, bright lights were
况：出现亮光和不明原因的
3 seen in the sky outside the
噪声。句中使用了并列的被
city of Tangshan and loud
动结构。
noises were heard.
4 At 3：42 a．m., everything 概括性描述灾难的开始。began to shake.
概括性描述灾难的严重后
It seemed as if the world were
5 果。句中as if引导表语从
coming to an end！
句。
Nearly one third of the whole
6 描述灾难的严重性。
nation felt it！
A huge crack, eight kilometres
long and 30 metres wide, cut 描述地震时地面裂开的场
7
across houses, roads, and 景。
waterways.
描述地震中山被震碎的场
Hard hills of rock became 景，表示地震的严重程度。
8
rivers of dirt. 句子运用了比喻这一修辞手
法。
In less than one minute, a
9 概括性描述灾难的严重性。
large city lay in ruins.
Two thirds of the people who
描述灾难造成的人员伤亡。
lived there were dead or
10 第二句是“leave＋宾语＋宾
injured. Thousands of children
补”结构的被动形式。
were left without parents.
Everywhere survivors looked, 从幸存者的角度描述灾难的
11
there was nothing but ruins. 严重后果。
续 表
序号 佳句呈现 赏析
Bricks covered the ground 描述灾难之后，房屋倒塌，
like red autumn leaves, but 红砖落地如红色秋叶，满目
12
no wind could blow them 疮痍。句子运用了比喻这一
away. 修辞手法。
描述灾难之后，人们的心理
13 People were in shock.
状况。
Water, food, and electricity 描述灾难之后断水、断电、
14
were hard to get. 断粮的场景。
People began to wonder how 描述灾难之后人们惶恐不安
15
long the disaster would last. 的心情。Soon after the quakes, the
army sent 150，000 soldiers
描述灾难之后，军队士兵积
16 to Tangshan to dig out those
极救助的场景。
who were trapped and to
bury the dead.
More than 10，000 doctors
描述灾难之后，医护人员积
17 and nurses came to provide
极救助的场景。
medical care.
Workers built shelters for 描述灾难之后，工人们积极
18 survivors whose homes had 帮助幸存者、提供庇护所的
been destroyed. 场景。
Hundreds of thousands of
people were helped. Water and 描述积极救助之后，城市逐
19
food were brought into the city 渐恢复的场景。
by train, truck, and plane.
概括性描述积极救助之后，
Slowly, the city began to
20 城市恢复的场景。句子运用
breathe again.
了“拟人”这一修辞手法。
概括性描述积极救助之后，
Tangshan started to revive itself
21 城市恢复的场景。句子运用
and get back up on its feet.
了“拟人”这一修辞手法。
With strong support from the
government and the tireless
描述在大家的共同努力下，
22 efforts of the city's people, a
灾后重建取得成功的场景。
new Tangshan was built
upon the earthquake ruins.
In times of disaster, people
是文章升华处的描写。表明
must unify and show the
23 大家只有靠团结和智慧，才
wisdom to stay positive and
能够成功地进行灾后重建。
rebuild for a brighter future.
Fishermen, tourists, hotels,
homes, and cars were swept
24 细节描述地震的严重程度。
away by huge waves caused
by the strong earthquake thatreached a magnitude of 9.0.
I was having breakfast with my
运用了“be doing...when”句
25 three children when water
型，表示灾难发生的突然。
started filling my home.
We had to leave everything and
26 描写灾难发生的突然性。
run to safety.
Foreign aid is being organised 描述灾后国际合作救援的场
27
for the tsunamihit countries. 景。
However, dangerous
描写灾后救援会遇到的困
conditions and damaged
28 难。运用了“make ＋it＋宾
roads will make it difficult to
补＋to do sth.”结构。
deliver food and supplies.
读后续写入门篇：读精——精析语言(Analyze the language)
做读后续写时，为了保持所写的内容和语言与原文的连贯性和一致性，需要通过回读原
文，利用 “拉平效应”， 创造性地模仿和使用语言，从而提高写作的效率和流畅度。
分析语篇，可以从五个方面理解原文的语言运用技巧：
1．场景描写(Surroundings)
场景描写包括人、物、事发生的时间、地点、自然环境及社会场景等。场景描写可以充
当背景信息，提供人、物、事发生的具体情景设定。其次，场景描写可以表达角色的感情、
情绪，可以随着情节的发展有所变化，甚至可以提示、推动情节的发展，增强语篇的代入感。
2．动作描写(Action)
动作描写指的是描写人物在具体情况下的行为举止，是情节发展的具体体现。恰到好处
的动作描写不仅可以塑造生动形象的人物，还可以反应人物的情感态度及心理变化，并最终
反映人物的性格特点及思想品质。
3．心理描写(Feelings)
心理描写指的是描写人物在具体情况下的看法、感受、情感及心理活动，并由此反映人
物的性格特点及思想品质。心理描写除了对心理的直接描写，还可以结合动作描写及场景描
写，共同构建连贯紧凑的语篇。
4．有效对话(Effective dialogue)
有效对话是记叙文中塑造人物的一个重要手段。对话的有效性首先表现在符合人物设定。
这样的对话不仅能够有效地推动情节的发展，而且能够增加叙述的生动性。此外，对话语言
也要符合记叙文的语言特点——生活化、简化及去书面化。
5．修辞(Figure of speech)修辞是增加语言生动性的最佳手段。可以引起共鸣，使抽象的情境具体化。常见的修辞
手法：比喻、拟人、夸张、排比。
【典题精析】
阅读下面的材料，完成以下任务。
When there was news that a storm was coming, Sarah didn't think much about it. She
simply shrugged it off like any other normal day. When she went to the grocery store and saw that it
was full, she still didn't worry.
People inside ran like mad between aisles (过道), grabbing what they could. More
people were crowding in, pushing each other. Even more were waiting outside, trying to make
their way into the store. Bare shelves and long lines made Sarah chuckle(咯咯笑).They must
be overreacting, she thought.
On her way home, she looked overhead. Dark clouds were indeed forming. And they
seemed to be running quickly across the sky. Still, Sarah was not bothered. The rain would be
nice since it had been warm lately.
When she got home, Sarah made popcorn and sat on the sofa with her dog, Cooper,
and got ready to watch a movie. Just as she hit play on the remote(遥控器), she heard the
thunder, as loud as a bomb. Rain started to come down hard, making it almost impossible
to see the trees in her front yard through the window. Cooper immediately jumped from the
sofa, barking in fear in the corner.
“It's OK.” Sarah said. She moved to one side and saw Cooper looked a bit nervous. Sarah
turned off the movie and instead skipped to the local news station. The storm was much more serious
than she had thought. People in a nearby city even said they spotted a tornado. The reporter advised
people to stay inside and secure all of the doors and windows.
Sarah got up and began making her way around the house. Cooper followed close
behind as she checked all of the windows to make sure they were all fully closed. By the
time she got back to her sofa, the rain had stopped.“That wasn't so bad，” Sarah said
aloud.“Just a nice shower.”
She turned to Cooper, who had gone back to the corner and still looked a bit
frightened. She looked outside. It was actually very calm, but she could see that the wind was
picking up. The branches of the trees were dancing wildly and the garbage bin had tipped over.
1．场景描写(Surroundings)
请选出以下场景描写的作用。A．介绍发生的时间
B．介绍发生的地点
C．介绍发生的自然环境
D．介绍发生的社会场景
E．推动情节发展
F．表达感情
(1)When there was news that a storm was coming, Sarah didn't think much about it. A
(2)When she went to the grocery store and saw that it was full, she still didn't worry. B
(3)Bare shelves and long lines made Sarah chuckle. D
(4)Rain started to come down hard, making it almost impossible to see the trees in her front
yard through the window. C
(5)And they seemed to be running quickly across the sky. Still, Sarah was not bothered. F
(6)The branches of the trees were dancing wildly and the garbage bin had tipped over. E
2．动作描写(Action)
(1)请选出以下动作描写的作用。
A．反映人物的形象
B．反映人物的情感态度
C．反映人物的心理变化
D．反映人物的性格特点及思想品质
①She simply shrugged it off like any other normal day. B
②When she got home, Sarah made popcorn and sat on the sofa with her dog, Cooper,
and got ready to watch a movie. A
③Sarah turned off the movie and instead skipped to the local news station. C
④ Sarah got up and began making her way around the house. Cooper followed close
behind as she checked all of the windows to make sure they were all fully closed. D
⑤ She turned to Cooper, who had gone back to the corner and still looked a bit
frightened. She looked outside. C
(2)例④反映了萨拉什么性格特点？
反映了萨拉能够全面周到地考虑到各个方面， 并且遇到问题能够做出积极的应对。
3．心理描写(Feelings)
请选出以下句子用什么手法描写心理活动。
A．动词直接描述心理活动B．动作体现心理活动
C．场景描写衬托心理活动
D．间接引语体现心理活动
(1)...she still didn't worry. A
(2)They must be overreacting, she thought. D
(3)Still, Sarah was not bothered. The rain would be nice since it had been warm lately.
C
(4)Cooper followed close behind...B
4．有效对话(Effective dialogue)
找出文章中的对话，并体会其有效性。
5．修辞(Figure of speech)
请选出以下句子用了什么修辞手法。
A．比喻 B．拟人 C．夸张 D．排比
(1)People inside ran like mad between aisles (过道), grabbing what they could. C
(2)And they seemed to be running quickly across the sky. B
(3)Just as she hit play on the remote (遥控器), she heard the thunder, as loud as a bomb. A
(4)People inside ran like mad between aisles (过道), grabbing what they could. More people
were crowding in, pushing each other. Even more were waiting outside, trying to make their
way into the store. D
名校模拟演练：
1, （2022·河北保定·高二阶段练习）阅读下而材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一
篇完整的短文。
It was the first day of the new school year. Sylvia entered the music room at a high school. The
65-year-old music teacher was known for being strict in class. Many students were afraid of her and
not interested in this class. They attended music class only because they needed the credit. But Sylviatook her job seriously.
That day, she walked to the piano in the corner and started leading them into a song to get them
warmed up. And she prevented those trying to joke around right away, which might explain why
some students didn’t like her teaching style.
Soon enough, her class was almost over and one student asked Sylvia curiously, “What do you
like to listen to at home?” “Surely, Beethoven and Tchaikovsky,” another student laughed before
Sylvia could answer, making some others laugh. “I actually like a lot of pop music, and even some of
the things you listen to nowadays. But I prefer to listen to classic music,” Sylvia replied, smiling at
the kids.
Some returned the smile and started asking about some singers and bands. But the bell rang
before she could answer all their questions and they had to leave. However, it seemed like that the
fear in her students had relieved a bit since that day. Soon enough, the students got used to her and
started taking her lessons more seriously.
However, one day, Sylvia’s husband suddenly died. She took two weeks off from work. Feeling
sad and hopeless, she didn’t even listen to music anymore.
Before long, her students learned what happened to their music teacher. Soon, they decided to
organize a performance and practice playing certain music that could be in memory of her husband
and cheer her up. When Sylvia returned to the class, they would surprise her by playing the music.
After making the decision, the students chose the proper music.
注意：1. 续写词数应为150左右；
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
In the following days, they were busy preparing for the performance.
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When Sylvia entered the music room, the beautiful music sounded.
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2, （2022·全国·高二课时练习）阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完
整的短文。续写的词数应为150左右。
“Surprise!” was the first thing that I heard as soon as I opened the door. My family and friends
were all gathered together. There were colorful balloons all over the house and a big poster that said
“Happy Birthday”. And of course there was a cake with 12 candles. It was a wonderful feeling
knowing that I had finally turned twelve and that I might possibly get the thing I wanted most.
I saw my mom and dad coming towards me with a small package wrapped up with really nice
pink paper with flowers on it. When I removed the paper and opened the box, I couldn’t believe my
eyes. I had really got a cell phone! I ran to give my mom and dad the biggest hug ever, and said,
“Thank you! I love you!”
“You’re welcome. We knew this was going to make you happy. But we give you this not only
because you have turned twelve but also because you are doing well in school. We expect you to
keep getting good grades.”
“Of course I will!” I said confidently. As soon as I got to school the next morning I was showing
off my phone and asking everyone for their number. It was cool how I got so many contacts (联系
人) on the first day. It felt like I didn’t even exist in that class any more. I didn’t pay much attention
to the teachers because I was too busy on my phone. I texted my friends, surfed the Internet for
stories or played games.
Luckily, I didn’t get caught using it. I had formed a habit of secretly enjoying my phone in class.
But I was pretty sure that the teachers did notice that I stopped paying attention to them because a
week later we took a test and I failed. To make matters worse, my parents had to sign the test.
Paragraph 1:
I had no choice but to show them my test paper.
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Paragraph 2:
My mom added, “Let us help you keep your cell phone until you’re old enough.”
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【答案】参考范文：
1, In the following days, they were busy preparing for the performance. They prepared musical instruments
needed for the music. Then they separated the class into different groups, with some playing instruments and
others singing. When the task was assigned, the students began to practice the music hard. Although it was
challenging, they worked together, not giving up. Finally, it was time for Sylvia to return to school. Still sad and
hopeless, Sylvia headed to school. And early before her class began, the students reached the music room, ready
for the performance.
When Sylvia entered the music room, the beautiful music sounded. She was surprised to find her students
were standing in the shape of a heart, and playing a beautiful tune for her. As her students finished the music,
tears filled her eyes. Her students approached her one by one, hugging her tightly. Sylvia thanked them for their
kindness. After a few minutes, she wiped her tears. “OK, let’s get back to class!” she said, and her voice was still
emotional. Everyone laughed, for they knew their strict teacher was back, which made them happy.
【导语】本文以人物为线索展开，讲述了65岁的西尔维娅是一所高中的音乐老师，她以上课严格著称。许
多学生害怕她，对这门课不感兴趣。新学年的第一天，西尔维娅试图改变自己的风格，她的学生们的恐惧似乎减轻了一些。很快，学生们就习惯了她，开始更认真地上她的课。一天，西尔维亚的丈夫突然去世了。
她请了两周的假。她感到悲伤和绝望，甚至不再听音乐了。学生们决定组织一场演出，练习演奏某种音乐，
以纪念她的丈夫，让她振作起来的故事。
【详解】1.段落续写：
①由第一段首句内容“在接下来的几天里，他们忙着为演出做准备。”可知，第一段可描写学生们一起努
力，准备表演。
②由第二段首句内容“当西尔维亚进入音乐教室时，优美的音乐响起来了。”可知，第二段可描写西尔维
亚为学生们为她准备的表演深受感动。
2.续写线索：分组——努力准备——演奏——老师感动——学生高兴
3.词汇激活
行为类
①准备：prepare/make a preparation for
②开始：begin/start
③放弃：give up/quit
情绪类
①惊讶的：surprised/astonished
②高兴的：happy/glad/delighted
【点睛】[高分句型1]. When the task was assigned, the students began to practice the music hard. (运用了
when引导的时间状语从句)
[高分句型2]. Everyone laughed, for they knew their strict teacher was back, which made them happy. (运用了for
引导的原因状语从句和关系代词which引导非限制性定语从句)
2, Paragraph 1:
I had no choice but to show them my test paper. When seeing my test result, they couldn’t
believe it. They were angry but most of all, they were disappointed. They asked me why I failed the
test. I didn’t dare to tell a lie, and told them the truth. When figuring out the cause, my dad said, “The
phone helps you communicate with us and your friends, but I think you’re too young to properly use
it.”
Paragraph 2:
My mom added, “Let us help you keep your cell phone until you’re old enough.” Although I
was unwilling to do it, I still took my phone out of my pocket and handed it to my parents. Duringthe first days without the cell phone, I felt bad. But eventually I got used to it and my life, especially
my school life, became normal again. In class, I’d listen carefully as before. After school, I’d be
devoted to finishing my homework. Gradually, my school performance improved and I obtained
good grades again.
【导语】本文是一篇记叙文。主要讲叙了作者在12岁生日获得了一台手机，并且慢慢的在课
堂上沉迷于手机导致成绩下降，最终被父母发现，作者只能告知父母成绩下降的原因是因为
玩手机父母最后总决定收回手机的故事。
【详解】1.段落续写：
①由第一段首句内容“我别无选择，只能给他们看我的试卷。”可知，第一段可描写父母在
看到试卷之后的失望以及作者主动交代成绩下降的原因。
②由第二段首句内容“妈妈又说:“让我们帮你保管手机，直到你长大。””可知，第二段可描
写作者最终上交了手机，并且成绩慢慢提高了。
2.续写线索：过生日——收到父母的手机礼物——沉迷于手机——成绩下降——主动承认错
误，上交手机——成绩回升3.词汇激活
行为类
①展示：show sb. sth./give sth. to sb./
②相信：believe/trust/ believe in/ have faith in
③最终：eventually/finally/at last/in the end
情绪类
① 生气的：mad/ angry/ irritated/ annoyed
②专心：be devoted to/ concentrate one's attention on
【点睛】
[高分句型1]. When figuring out the cause, my dad said, “The phone helps you communicate
with us and your friends, but I think you’re too young to properly use it.”（这里的figuring out是非
谓语动词作时间状语）
[高分句型2] Although I was unwilling to do it, I still took my phone out of my pocket and handed
it to my parents.（运用了although引导的让步状语从句）
