安徽省、山西省1号卷·A10联盟2026届高三上学期9月学情诊断
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短
文。
Justin Dudley, a 48-year-old single father from Maine, had long struggled with
obesity . At his heaviest, he weighed 343 pounds and wore size XXXXL
(交代背景信息)
clothing. The“fast-food addict" says he followed every meal with dessert and that he
once spent $500 a month on snacks like ice cream, chips, and candy.“ I always
hated having my photo taken, and if I had to be in a group picture, I would always
stand at the back,”said the father .
(没有多加人物哦。刻画人物心理)
In April 2024, Dudley decided enough was enough. The single dad's only son,
Ethan, would graduate from high school that spring. Dudley realized he didn't want
to be remembered as the dad who was always ashamed of how he looked.
Determined to make a change , he started eating only during
(过去分词做adj主语补)
certain hours of the day and limited himself to 1,200 calories, drinking tea or black
coffee until dinner . He also started doing home workouts. With fierce
(现在分词短语做伴随动作)
discipline, Dudley began shedding pounds-22 in the first month, and another 20 the
next.
The graduation day was approaching. Although Dudley had lost weight, he still
felt self-conscious about his appearance. He continued to avoid cameras, but he
was proud to be there for Ethan. His son, in turn, told him how proud he was of his
father's progress.That encouragement gave Dudley the motivation to keep going.
Over time, Dudley lost a total of 180 pounds. He now spends only $300 a month
on healthy food. More importantly, he gained confidence and a new outlook on life.
He now looks at old photos with disbelief and pride, knowing how far
(现在分词做伴随动作)
he's come.
Dr, Jason Fung, a health expert, says that success lies in consistency. “It's not
easy," he said, “but building it into a habit can make all the difference.”
(动名词短语做主语)
Dudley's transformation wasn't just about weight; it was about reclaiming his life
and showing his son that it's never too late to change.
注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1: Finally, the big day came Ethan was graduating.
Paragraph 2: Looking ahead, Justin has ambitious plans.安徽省、山西省1号卷·A10联盟2026届高三上学期9月学情诊断
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短
文。
Justin Dudley, a 48-year-old single father from Maine, had long struggled with
obesity. At his heaviest, he weighed 343 pounds and wore size XXXXL clothing.
The“fast-food addict" says he followed every meal with dessert and that he once spent
$500 a month on snacks like ice cream, chips, and candy.“ always hated having my
photo taken, and if I had to be in a group picture, I would always stand at the
back,”said the father.
In April 2024, Dudley decided enough was enough. The single dad's only
son,Ethan, would graduate from high school that spring. Dudley realized he didn't
want to be remembered as the dad who was always ashamed of how he looked.
Determined to make a change, he started eating only during certain hours of the day
and limited himself to 1,200 calories, drinking tea or black coffee until dinner. He
also started doing home workouts. With fierce discipline, Dudley began shedding
pounds-22 in the first month, and another 20 the next.
The graduation day was approaching. Although Dudley had lost weight, he still
felt self-conscious about his appearance. He continued to avoid cameras, but he was
proud to be there for Ethan. His son, in turn, told him how proud he was of his father's
progress.That encouragement gave Dudley the motivation to keep going.
Over time, Dudley lost a total of 180 pounds. He now spends only $300 a month
on healthy food. More importantly, he gained confidence and a new outlook on life.
He now looks at old photos with disbelief and pride, knowing how far he's come.
Dr, Jason Fung, a health expert, says that success lies in consistency. “It's not
easy," he said, “but building it into a habit can make all the difference.” Dudley's
transformation wasn't just about weight it was about reclaiming his life and showing
his son that it's never too late to change.
注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1: Finally, the big day came Ethan was graduating.
Paragraph 2: Looking ahead, Justin has ambitious plans.1. 文章类型与续写思路分析
文章类型： 这是一篇典型的 “个人成长与转变型” 读后续写。故事核心
是主人公Justin为了儿子毕业典礼而决心减肥，最终成功改变自我，重获自
信。主题聚焦于父爱、毅力、自我接纳和新生。
续写构思与布局：
构思方向：
情感核心： 续写应紧扣“父子情”和“自我认同”这两条情感线。重点描绘毕
业典礼当天Justin的心理状态（紧张、期待、自豪）以及他与儿子Ethan的互
动。
主题升华： 结局应升华主题——改变不仅仅是为了外表，更是为了积极地生
活，并为儿子树立榜样。要与原文结尾句“reclaiming his life and showing his
son that it's never too late to change”相呼应。
框架提炼与实施
第一段（典礼现场）： 以“Finally, the big day came...”开头。
开端（氛围描写）： 描写毕业典礼的热烈、庄重氛围，以及Justin身处人群中
的感受。
发展（内心冲突与互动）： 重点描写Justin的紧张与自我意识（照应原文“still
felt self-conscious”），但当他看到儿子时，内心的自豪感战胜了不安。可以设
计一个关键互动，如Ethan在人群中寻找父亲，并对父亲露出骄傲的微笑，或
主动邀请父亲合影。
高潮（转折点）： 设计一个突破性场景，如Justin不再躲闪，而是主动走向前
为儿子拍照，或者当被邀请合影时，他欣然同意，不再站到后排。
第二段（未来展望）： 以“Looking ahead, Justin has ambitious plans.”开头。
深化（新目标）： 他的新计划不应再局限于体重，而是更积极的生活方式。例
如：学习一项新运动（如徒步、骑行）、与儿子共同完成一项挑战、甚至用自
己的经历去鼓励他人。结局（主题升华与呼应）： 文章最后应回到父子关系上。Justin意识到，他的
改变最大的收获不仅是健康，更是与儿子之间更深层次的连接，以及作为父亲
的全新形象。可以呼应开头“don't want to be remembered as the dad who was
always ashamed”，变成“希望被儿子记住为一个勇敢、有行动力的父亲”。
续写注意事项：
承接原文事项：
人物性格一致性：Justin已变得自信，但可能仍有残留的不安，续写要体现这种
转变的渐进性。
情感线索连续性：必须体现Ethan对父亲的支持和骄傲。
语言风格一致性：保持原文平实、真挚的叙述风格。
整体注意事项：
避免增加新冲突：故事已近尾声，重点应是圆满收束和主题升华，而非制造新
矛盾。
控制节奏：两段续写要有详略，第一段详写典礼高潮，第二段略写计划并重在
抒情议论。
巧妙设计：
呼应手法： 设计与开头“讨厌拍照、站在后排”形成鲜明对比的场景，如
Justin主动站在镜头前，笑容灿烂。
细节描写： 通过细节展现改变，如合身的西装（与XXXXL对比）、轻快的步
伐、与他人自信交谈等。
象征手法： 用“旧照片”与“新照片”的对比，象征旧我的告别和新我的开
始。
2. 故事山模式、衔接点与要素分析
故事山模式：
开端： Justin因肥胖而自卑，逃避拍照。
发展： 为参加儿子毕业典礼，决心减肥并取得显著成效。高潮： 毕业典礼当天，Justin虽然已成功减肥，但内心仍面临自信的最终考
验。
回落： 在儿子的鼓励下，他克服了心理障碍，坦然面对镜头和众人。
结局： Justin不仅外形改变，更获得了新生，并制定了更积极的人生计划。
续写衔接点：
“Finally, the big day came...”：直接承接原文第三段“The graduation day was
approaching”。
Justin的自我意识：衔接原文第三段“he still felt self-conscious about his
appearance”。
Ethan的鼓励：衔接原文第三段“His son, in turn, told him how proud he was...”。
Justin的新生与计划：衔接原文第四段“he gained confidence and a new outlook
on life”和专家的话。
伏笔与冲突点：
伏笔： “不想被记住为一个总是为自己的外表感到羞愧的爸爸”是核心伏笔，
为典礼上的行为转变埋下种子。
冲突点：
外在冲突： 肥胖与健康生活的矛盾（已基本解决）。
内在冲突（主要冲突）： 长期自卑的心理与渴望获得自信、成为儿子榜样的矛
盾（这是续写要解决的核心冲突）。
隐含线索： Justin对儿子的爱是推动一切改变的根本动力。
解决方案： 通过毕业典礼这个特定场景的正面体验（如儿子的公开认可、成功
合影），完成心理上的最终突破，实现内在与外在的统一。
3. 原文要素分析表格
分析角度 内容 原文反应句
人物刻画 自卑、爱儿子、有毅 “always hated having my photo taken...”,分析角度 内容 原文反应句
力、曾是“快餐 “the dad who was always ashamed”, “fast-
addict” food addict”, “With fierce discipline”
从自卑羞愧 -> 决心
“always ashamed” -> “Determined to make
改变 -> 阶段性自豪 a change” -> “still felt self-conscious” ->
情感层次
但仍自我怀疑 -> 最 “proud of his father's progress” -> “gained
confidence and a new outlook”
终自信骄傲
“In April 2024, Dudley decided enough was
1. 决心改变（为儿子
enough.”, “shedding pounds-22 in the first
关键情节 毕业） 2. 减肥初见
month”, “His son... told him how proud he
点 成效 3. 儿子鼓励 4.
was”, “Over time, Dudley lost a total of 180
成功减重180磅
pounds.”
平实、口语化、多引
“The ‘fast-food addict’ says...”, “‘always
语言特色 用直接引语，增强真
hated having my photo taken...’”
实感
ashamed, enough was
enough, determined,
关键词分
discipline, self- 这些词构成了情感变化的主线。
析
conscious, proud,
confidence, reclaiming
主要通过对行为和感
“he always hated...”, “he still felt self-
心理描写 受的描述来间接体现
conscious”, “with disbelief and pride”
心理
“stand at the back”, “started eating only
逃避拍照、间歇性饮
动作描写 during certain hours”, “started doing home
食、居家锻炼
workouts”
环境描写 原文较少，为续写留 （无直接描写，可续写中增加典礼环分析角度 内容 原文反应句
下空间。 境）
父爱的力量、自我革
“it wasn't just about weight it was about
新的勇气、持之以恒
隐含主题 reclaiming his life and showing his son that
的重要性、改变永远
it's never too late to change.”
不晚。
儿子Ethan的鼓励是
Justin从单纯减肥到 “That encouragement gave Dudley the
情感转折
获得持续动力的关键 motivation to keep going.”
情感转折点。
原文未明确空间转
空间转换
换。
使用明确的时间节点 “In April 2024”, “the first month”, “the
时间过渡
来推进故事。 next”, “Over time”
3. 动作、环境、心理描写与高级词汇替换
动作描写
A wave of nervous excitement washed over Justin as he spotted Ethan in the
procession.
（当贾斯汀在队伍中看到伊桑时，一阵紧张的兴奋感涌上心头。）
He adjusted his well-fitted suit, a stark contrast to the old XXXXL shirts.
（他整理了一下合身的西装，这与过去的XXXXL衬衫形成了鲜明对比。）
Ethan’s eyes lit up when he found his father in the crowd, giving him a thumbs-
up.
（伊桑在人群中找到父亲时，眼睛一亮，向他竖起了大拇指。）
Justin’s hands trembled slightly as he raised his phone to capture the moment.
（当贾斯汀举起手机捕捉这一时刻时，他的手微微颤抖。）Instead of shrinking back, Justin stepped forward confidently to join the group
photo.
（贾斯汀没有退缩，而是自信地向前一步，加入了合影。）
He wrapped his arm around his son’s shoulders, feeling a surge of paternal
pride.
（他用手臂搂住儿子的肩膀，感受到一股强烈的父爱自豪感。）
Ethan leaned in and whispered, “I’m so proud of you, Dad.”
（伊桑凑过来低声说：“爸爸，我为你感到骄傲。”）
A genuine smile spread across Justin’s face, reaching his eyes for the first time in
years.
（一个发自内心的笑容在贾斯汀脸上绽开，多年来第一次直达眼底。）
He stood tall at the front, no longer hiding in the back.
（他昂首挺胸地站在前排，不再躲在后面。）
Looking at the photo, he shook his head in disbelief at his own transformation.
（看着照片，他摇着头，对自己的转变感到难以置信。）
心理描写
A mix of anticipation and lingering self-doubt churned inside him.
（期待和残留的自我怀疑在他内心翻腾。）
He feared that the old image of himself might still overshadow the new.
（他害怕旧日的自我形象可能仍会掩盖新的自己。）
The warmth of his son’s praise melted away his anxiety.
（儿子赞扬的温暖融化了他的焦虑。）
A profound sense of accomplishment filled his chest, making him stand
straighter.
（一种深刻的成就感充满他的胸膛，让他站得更直。）
For the first time, he felt truly worthy of being the role model his son saw.
（他第一次感到自己真正配得上儿子眼中的榜样形象。）
The thunderous applause for the graduates echoed the joy in his own heart.
（为毕业生们响起的雷鸣般的掌声与他内心的喜悦产生了共鸣。）All the discipline and sacrifice suddenly felt worth it.
（所有的自律和牺牲突然间都感觉值得了。）
He was no longer a prisoner of his own insecurities.
（他不再是自己内心不安的囚徒。）
A newfound confidence blossomed within him, quiet but solid.
（一种崭新的自信在他内心绽放，安静而坚实。）
He saw not just his son’s future, but his own, bright with possibilities.
（他看到的不仅是儿子的未来，还有他自己的，充满无限可能。）
环境描写
The sun bathed the graduation venue in a golden glow, symbolizing new
beginnings.
（太阳为毕业典礼场地披上一层金色的光芒，象征着新的开始。）
The air was electric with the cheers of proud families and the pomp of the
ceremony.
（空气中充满了自豪家人们的欢呼声和典礼的盛况，气氛热烈。）
Rows of chairs were neatly arranged on the lush green lawn.
（一排排椅子整齐地摆放在郁郁葱葱的绿色草坪上。）
The sound of the school anthem swelled, bringing a tear to many eyes.
（校歌的声音响起，让许多人热泪盈眶。）
Families clustered together, their laughter and chatter creating a festive
atmosphere.
（家人们聚在一起，他们的笑声和谈话营造出节日般的气氛。）
The grand auditorium was filled with the rustle of robes and the flash of
cameras.
（宏伟的礼堂里，满是长袍的沙沙声和相机的闪光灯。）
A gentle breeze carried the scent of freshly cut grass across the field.
（一阵微风将刚割过的青草的气息吹过田野。）
The spotlight on the stage seemed to illuminate his son’s bright future.
（舞台上的聚光灯仿佛照亮了他儿子光明的未来。）The sea of blue graduation gowns was a testament to years of hard work.
（一片蓝色的毕业礼服海洋是多年努力学习的证明。）
As the ceremony concluded, a sense of collective hope hung in the air.
（典礼结束时，一种集体的希望感在空中弥漫。）
常见单词高级替换词（分类场景总结）
场景一：表达“开心/自豪”
常见词： happy, proud
高级替换：
Elated （兴高采烈的）: 强调极度高兴和兴奋。
Overjoyed （欣喜若狂的）: 比happy程度深得多。
Thrilled （非常激动的）: 常用于因好事而激动。
Ecstatic （狂喜的）: 表达极致的喜悦。
Fulfilled （有成就感的）: 强调因实现目标而感到的深层满足和自豪。
场景二：表达“努力/困难”
常见词： hard, difficult
高级替换：
Arduous （艰苦的）: 形容需要持续付出巨大努力的任务。
Grueling （累垮人的）: 强调使人精疲力尽的艰难。
Strenuous （费力的）: 指需要大量体力或精力的。
Formidable （艰巨的）: 形容挑战非常强大，令人敬畏。
Daunting （令人怯步的）: 指任务开始时显得非常困难，令人丧失勇气。
场景三：表达“改变”
常见词： change
高级替换：
Transformation （转变）: 强调根本性、彻底的变化。
Metamorphosis （蜕变）: 类似transformation，但更具形象感，如化茧成蝶。Overhaul （彻底革新）: 常指对系统、习惯的全面修改。
Reinvention （重塑）: 指重新塑造自己的形象或生活。
Shift （转变）: 可指心态、方向上的微妙或显著变化。
场景四：表达“重要”
常见词： important
高级替换：
Crucial （至关重要的）: 对成功起到关键性作用的。
Pivotal （关键性的）: 形容作为转折点或核心支点的重要性。
Paramount （至高无上的）: 最高级别的重要性。
Instrumental （起重要作用的）: 形容作为工具或手段，对达成目标至关重
要。
Momentous （重大的）: 形容具有重大意义或影响的。
场景五：表达“决定”
常见词： decide
高级替换：
Resolve （决心）: 强调下定决心的坚定性。
Determine （决定）: 语气比decide更强，表示经过深思熟虑后下定决心。
Commit to （承诺做）: 强调做出承诺并付诸行动。
Opt for （选择）: 表示在几个选项中做出选择。
Make up one's mind （打定主意）: 口语化表达，表示最终决定。
4. 语言点解析与语料积累
地道搭配与词法解析
Struggled with obesity: struggle with 是一个经典搭配，表示“与...作斗争”，后
面可接具体问题（如疾病、困难）或抽象概念（如情绪）。
Enough was enough: 固定习语，表示“受够了，到此为止”，常用于下定决心
改变现状时。Shedding pounds: shed weight/pounds 是比 lose weight 更生动、地道表达“减
肥”的方式。shed 原意指“脱落”（如蛇蜕皮）。
Self-conscious: 重要形容词，表示“（因过分关注他人看法而）不自然的，害羞
的，自我意识过强的”。常与 about 连用。
Reclaiming his life: reclaim 意为“取回，收回”，用在这里非常有力，暗示他
的生活曾因肥胖而“失去”，现在通过努力重新夺回控制权。
Make all the difference: 固定短语，表示“起到关键作用；使结果大不相同”。
Fast-food addict: addict 本指瘾君子，这里用于夸张地形容对快餐的极度依赖，
是生动的隐喻。
With fierce discipline: with + 抽象名词 结构常表示方式，如 with care（小心
地），with difficulty（困难地）。fierce discipline 搭配强烈，表现其自律的强
度。
可积累语料与生词短语
1. 生词/短语：obesity
词意： 肥胖（症）
词性： n. (不可数)
近义词： severe overweight, fatness
反义词： slimmess, leanness
例句：
Childhood obesity has become a serious public health issue.
He decided to tackle his obesity through diet and exercise.
2. 生词/短语：discipline
词意： 纪律；自律；训导
词性： n.
近义词： self-control, willpower, determination, regimen
反义词： indiscipline, laziness, self-indulgence
例句：Success in any field requires great discipline.
She maintained a strict writing discipline, working for two hours every morning.
3. 生词/短语：consistency
词意： 连贯性；一致性；坚持
词性： n. (不可数)
近义词： steadiness, persistence, regularity, uniformity
反义词： inconsistency, irregularity, unpredictability
例句：
The key to learning a language is consistency in practice.
There was no consistency in the quality of his work.
4. 生词/短语：transformation
词意： （彻底的）变化，转变，改革
词性： n.
近义词： change, metamorphosis, overhaul, makeover
反义词： stagnation, preservation, maintenance of the status quo
例句：
The city has undergone a dramatic transformation in the last decade.
His personal transformation inspired everyone around him.
5. 生词/短语：self-conscious
词意： 忸怩的；不自然的；怕难为情的
词性： adj.
近义词： shy, embarrassed, awkward, insecure
反义词： confident, self-assured, unselfconscious, poised
例句：
He felt very self-conscious about his accent when speaking in public.
As a teenager, she was painfully self-conscious.
6. 短语：make a difference词意： 起作用；有影响；使不同
词性： 动词短语
近义词： have an impact, matter, be significant, change things
反义词： be irrelevant, have no effect, make no difference
例句：
Volunteering just a few hours a week can make a real difference in your community.
A good teacher can make all the difference in a child's life.5. Possible Version(4)
Version 1
Paragraph 1:
Finally, the big day came. Ethan was graduating. Justin sat in the audience,
his palms sweating slightly as he tried to steady his breathing. Though
(独立主格刻画人物状态)
he had dropped an incredible amount of weight, the old memory of hiding from the
camera still haunted him . As Ethan stepped proudly onto the stage to receive
(衔接原文)
his diploma, the crowd burst into applause. Justin rose to his feet, clapping
(现在分词做伴随
until his hands tingled, his eyes brimming with tears . When Ethan
动作) (独立主格刻画人物)
waved to him, Justin instinctively waved back, forgetting for a moment his
former self-consciousness . After the ceremony, Ethan dragged him
(现在分词短语做伴随动作)
toward the photographers, whispering , “Dad, today we celebrate both
(现在分词短语做伴随动作)
of us.” With that, Justin stood tall , finally smiling openly for the
(有没有想到2024年的高考题)
camera , convinced that this picture marked a new
(现在分词短语做伴随动作) (过去分词做adj，主语补语)
beginning.
Paragraph 2:
Looking ahead, Justin has ambitious plans. The photograph taken at
graduation became a symbol of courage and change, urging him never
(过去分词做后置定语)
to return to his old habits . Determined to maintain discipline
(现在分词短语做伴随动作) (过去分词短
, he scheduled daily workouts and recorded every small achievement,
语做主语补语)
reminding himself that consistency mattered more than speed. He
(现在分词短语做伴随动作)
also dreamed of attending Ethan’s future milestones with confidence, not
embarrassment, showing his son the power of persistence. Each
(现在分词短语做伴随动作)
morning, as he brewed black coffee, he repeated to himself that health was not just
about appearance but about living fully. He knew the road ahead would require
patience, yet the journey itself had already transformed him. With renewed
confidence, Justin believed that the best chapters of his life were still waiting to be
written.
地道搭配：
burst into applause → 爆发出掌声brimming with tears → 眼含泪水
stand tall → 昂首挺胸
a symbol of courage → 勇气的象征
近义替换：
steady → stabilize / compose
determined → resolved / committed
embarrassed → ashamed / self-conscious
亮点动作/心理描写：
palms sweating / clapping until hands tingled / stood tall
brimming with tears / forgetting self-consciousness
积累语料：
“She stood tall, refusing to bow to fear.”
“His eyes brimmed with tears of relief.”
“The medal became a symbol of her determination.”
“Consistency matters more than speed in achieving lasting goals.”
Version 2
Paragraph 1:
Finally, the big day came. Ethan was graduating. Nervous yet excited ,
(adj做补语)
Justin adjusted his jacket as he entered the crowded hall. Months ago, he would
have hidden in the back , but today he chose a seat near the front. When
(过去虚拟语气)
Ethan’s name was called, Justin’s heart leaped with pride, his pulse quickening
(现在分词
as his son crossed the stage . Cameras flashed from every corner ,
短语做伴随动作) (环境描写)and to Justin’s surprise, he did not shrink back . Instead, he lifted his chin,
(衔接原文)
applauding loudly , his face glowing with relief and joy .
(现在分词短语做伴随动作) (独立主格刻画人物)
After the ceremony, Ethan rushed into his arms and whispered, “Dad, you’ve made
me proud.” At that moment, Justin realized his transformation was more than
physical—it was a victory of spirit.
Paragraph 2:
Looking ahead, Justin has ambitious plans. Inspired by his son’s words
(过去分词做
, he resolved to expand his progress beyond graduation day. He mapped out
原状语)
weekly goals, from running longer distances to experimenting with healthier
recipes, reminding himself that persistence was the cornerstone of
(现在分词短语做伴随动作)
growth. At night, he reflected on how far he had come, no longer hating the man
in the mirror but respecting the effort behind the change. More importantly, he
promised Ethan to continue living with discipline and courage, for he wanted his son
to see that resilience could overcome any obstacle. With every small success, Justin
built not only a healthier body but also an unshakable belief that it was never too
late to start anew.
地道搭配：
adjust his jacket → 整理衣服
pulse quickening → 心跳加速
a victory of spirit → 精神的胜利
map out weekly goals → 制定每周计划
近义替换：
nervous → uneasy / anxious / apprehensive
glowing with joy → radiant with delight
resilience → perseverance / tenacity亮点动作/心理描写：
lifted his chin / applauded loudly / rushed into his arms
heart leaped with pride / no longer hating the man in the mirror
积累语料：
“Her pulse quickened as the spotlight fell on her.”
“He adjusted his jacket nervously before stepping onto the stage.”
“Resilience, not talent, often decides success.”
“Small victories build the foundation for great change.”
Version 3
Paragraph 1:
Finally, the big day came. Ethan was graduating. Sitting among rows of
proud parents , Justin felt both nervous and exhilarated. The sight of
(现在分词做伴随动作)
Ethan in his cap and gown filled him with warmth , though a faint trace
(心理环境描写)
of insecurity still tugged at him . As the applause thundered ,
(无灵主语句，心理描写) (无灵主语句)
Justin joined in, his hands trembling not with shame but with excitement
(独立主格刻画人物心
. When Ethan spotted him and waved, Justin’s lips curved into a smile wider
理)
than he had worn in years. After the ceremony, Ethan led him toward the camera
stands. Instead of stepping back as he used to, Justin stood shoulder to shoulder with
his son, whispering , “This is the moment I’ve been waiting for.”
(现在分词做伴随动作)
Paragraph 2:
Looking ahead, Justin has ambitious plans. The picture taken that day
(过去分词做后
became a turning point, reminding him that real change was a
置定语) (现在分词做伴随动作)
lifelong commitment. Determined to continue his journey , he built
(现在分词短语做伴随动作)
a routine blending exercise with mindful eating , proving
(现在分词短语做后置定语) (现在分词短语做伴随
that self-control was not a punishment but a gift. He also promised himself to
动作)be fully present at Ethan’s future milestones, never again letting insecurity rob
him of joy . Sometimes, when he flipped through old photos , he no
(现在分词短语做伴随动作)
longer cringed but felt grateful for how far he had come. With every step
forward, Justin discovered that transformation was not simply about losing weight
but about gaining freedom, hope, and the courage to embrace life.
地道搭配：
cap and gown → 毕业礼服
stood shoulder to shoulder → 并肩站立
lifelong commitment → 终身承诺
flip through old photos → 翻看旧照片
近义替换：
exhilarated → thrilled / overjoyed
insecure → self-conscious / hesitant
grateful → thankful / appreciative
亮点动作/心理描写：
hands trembling with excitement / curved into a smile wider than in
years
tugged at him (心理暗示) / whispered inwardly
积累语料：
“He stood shoulder to shoulder with his teammate in the final battle.”
“Her hands trembled, but her voice rang steady with courage.”“A lifelong commitment requires not passion but persistence.”
“Flipping through the old album, she realized every scar told a story.”官方第二节
One possible version:
Finally, the big day came-Ethan was graduating. At the graduation ceremony,
Justin Dudley sat in the audience with a mix of pride and anxiety . Wearing a suit
two sizes smaller than what he had ever owned before , he applauded
(现在分词短语做伴随动作)
as Ethan walked across the stage. Though still camera-shy, he agreed to take a
family photo afterward. Standing beside his son , Justin smiled a
(现在分词短语做伴随动作)
genuine, hard-earned smile. For the first time, Justin didn't shy away when someone
took their picture together. “You look amazing, Dad," Ethan whispered. That
moment stayed with Justin long after the flash faded.
Looking ahead, Justin has ambitious plans. He wants to start a blog to share his
story online, hoping to inspire other single parents who struggle
(现在分词短语做伴随动作)
with health and self-worth. He dreams of hiking in national parks, something he
never imagined doing before. “I have missed so much," he says, “"but now I have a
second chance.” With renewed health , a stronger bond with his son, and a clear
purpose, Justin's next chapter is only just beginning.
