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考向 45 概要写作之三步优化语言表达
概要写作语言优化三步走
概要写作的评分原则之一是“对各要点表达的独立性情况”，即要用自己的语言表述原文要点，不能照抄
原文的语句。同时各要点之间应注意利用恰当的过渡衔接词汇，使所写的句子连贯流畅。
第一步：替换单词/短语
在找出文中的要点后，利用替换单词、短语等方法来增强语言表达的独立性。
①利用同义词(短语)或近义词(短语)代替原文单词或短语。
②将原文动词短语转换为介词短语、名词短语替换成动词短语、动词转换为名词、形容词转换为副词等。
第二步：合理地调整句式
除了用替换单词、短语等方式增强语言表达的独立性外，还可以采用灵活调整句式的方式达到语气目标。
(1)长变短：压缩长的句子和词组，使其变得短小精悍，如两个简单句整合为一个并列句或主从复合句；复
合句或并列句简化为简单句、从句简化为介词短语或者分词短语等。
(2)主动变被动：主动句变为被动句式，更生动更符合英语表达。
(3)善用定语从句、名词性从句、状语从句、倒装句、强调句、省略句等丰富的句型结构等。
第三步：使用恰当的过渡衔接
概要写作的评分标准之一是上下文的连贯性，要求你有效运用一定的衔接手段。
3种使上下文连贯的衔接手段
①词汇衔接：运用原词、近义词或反义词、上下义词等的复现。
②逻辑衔接：利用表逻辑关系的过渡词衔接上下文，如 besides, in addition, therefore等，在选用过渡衔接词
时，应考虑前后句子之间的内在逻辑关系。
③语法衔接：常见的语法衔接有替代和省略。
替代：用代词替代前面的名词(短语)和句子，用助动词代替前面的动词(短语)。
省略：在语境表达清晰的情况下，为了表达简洁，省略上文或下文的某个词句。
【策略演示】
阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。
(2019年6月，浙江高考)Parents everywhere praise their kids. Jenn Berman, author of The A to Z Guide to
Raising Happy and Confident Kids, says, “We've gone to the opposite extreme of a few decades ago when .” By
giving kids a lot of praise, parents think they're building their children's confidence, when, in fact, it may be just the
opposite. and, when given in a way that's insincere, make kids afraid to try new things or take a risk for fear of not
being able to stay on top where their parents' praise has put them.
Still, don't go too far in the other direction. . Kids will feel like and, as a result, may see no point in trying hard
for their accomplishments.
So what is the right amount of praise? Experts say that . If praise is sincere and focused on the effort not the
outcome, you can . “We should especially recognize our children's efforts to push themselves and work hard to achieve
a goal，” says Donahue, author of Parenting Without Fear: Letting Go of Worry and Focusing on What Really
Matters. “One thing to remember is that it's the process not the end product that .”
Your son may not be the best basketball player on his team. But if he's out there every day and playing hard, youshould praise his effort regardless of whether his team wins or loses. can also mean recognizing your child when she
has worked hard to clean the yard, cook dinner, or finish a book report. But whatever it is, praise should be given on a
casebycase basis and be proportionate .
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【思路点拨】
第1步 读懂原文，明确篇章结构
本文是议论文，提出当前父母对孩子进行过度赞扬和不表扬是同样有害的，正确的做法是找到其闪光点进
行适度的表扬，以培养其自信乐观的心态。文章四个自然段，就是4个意义段，对应4个要点。
第一段：指出过度表扬不利于孩子的成长。
第二段：对孩子的表扬不足同样有害。
第三段：对孩子的表扬要恰当而且适时。
第四段：关注孩子的努力，不必太过关注结果。
第2 步 去次留精，提炼关键信息
本文关键信息已在文中用画线和阴影形式体现， 其中画线词为与主题句相关的关键词，其他则为次要信息。
第3步 归纳要点，合理转换表达
采用同义转述、句式转换等方法灵活准确归纳要点，如：
①第一段主题句可归纳为要点1：该要点中的“the opposite”可利用同义表达改为contrary to；“stay on top
where their parents' praise has put them”(指的是父母对孩子过度表扬而设定的目标)可转换为 unrealistic goals。
②第二段主题句可归纳为要点2：该要点中的“Not giving enough praise”可转换为inadequate praise; “they're
not good enough or that you don't care”可转换为they are not doing well or they are ignored。
第4步 句式多样，注意过渡衔接
句式要多样，可利用非谓语动词、定语从句和名词性从句，归纳整合要点。
要点1指出过度表扬不利于孩子的成长，而要点 2说明对孩子的表扬不足同样有害，由此前两个要点为转
折关系，可利用however衔接；第3个要点说明要给予恰当适时的表扬，由此可知该要点与前两个要点是因果
关系可利用therefore衔接；第3个要点中的恰当适时的表扬与第4个要点中的表扬努力为并列关系， 可利用表
“并列，顺承”的过渡衔接词汇，如besides, additionally等。
【参考范文】
Contrary to the past, some parents are likely to overpraise their kids, making them feel given unrealistic goals. (要
点1) ， others give their kids inadequate praise, which gives them a false idea that they are not doing well or they are
ignored. (要点2) ， praising them properly and punctually is definitely favorable. (要点3) ， to do so parents are
advised to focus on their kids' effort instead of the result. (要点4)
【检测训练】
1. 阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。Eighty-five percent of the jobs that today's students will do in 2030 don't exist yet,the Institute for the Future has
predicted.That might seem like a high number to reach in only 10 years.But think about the non-mainstream careers that
did not exist just a handful of years ago: social media manager,app developer and cloud computing engineer,etc.What
role should colleges and universities play in preparing students for a workplace that is constantly changing? Educational
institutions are trying to answer that question."We hope they will not only be prepared for whatever the job market looks
like in 10,20 or 50 years but be the ones shaping it," said Jenn Stringer,professor at the University of
Californian,Berkeley.Here are some of the approaches they're taking.
Some experts argue that the four-year learning model needs to be rethought in a big way. They say education can no
longer be seen as something that stops when a person graduates from college.If students could take a year or two off
school,get a job,and then return to school a few years later,the education system would offer true life-long learning and
better adapt to changing technology.
Fewer employers are willing to train people on the job than the employers 50 years ago, largely as part of an effort
to cut costs.To fill the job skills gap,some courses are offered as an add-on to a student's main degree.For example,the
courses may include data analysis,web design and digital marketing.The goal is to offer students,a degree aside,some
advantages when they seek jobs or promotions in the future.
Other institutions are trying to imitate the workplace within the traditional classroom. Several colleges have partnered
with private companies,such as the software company Adobe, to integrate their products into the classroom.Professors at
schools who partner with the company are encouraged to use the product for assignments.The idea is that students learn
how to create a project that can be used in the real world and the"soft skills"such as teamwork and creativity.
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【参考范文】
To help students better suit and reshape the ever-shifting work landscape, colleges are taking various measures. (要
点 1) Firstly, life-long and adaptive learning model is expected to replace the present 4-year one. (要点 2) Besides,
additional training programs beneficial to acquiring practical job skills are provided for college students. (要点 3)
Moreover, some colleges cooperate with enterprises to make classrooms more like workplaces and enhance students’ all
round capabilities. (要点4)【写作步骤】
第1步:根据文章内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。文章第一段用提问的方式引出主题：大学在帮助学生们适应
不断变化的职场起到什么角色？所以本文的内容概要是为了帮助学生更好适应职场，大学采取了各种各样的措
施。要点 1要先写出文章目的。要点 2第二段讲到第一点措施 offer true life-long learning and better adapt to
changing technology.终身和适应型学习模式预计会替换现在4年教育。要点3在第三段some courses are offered as
an add-on to a student's main degree.有益于获得工作技能的格外的培训项目被提供给大学生。要点4.在最后一段：
大学和公司合作把课堂营造成职场并加强学生全面能力。
第2步:根据写作要求,确定关键词(组) , 如: beneficial to 有益的； are provided for 被提供 Moreover 而且, some
colleges cooperate with 合作；enhance students’ all round capabilities增强全面的技能. 等。
第3步:根据提示及关键词(组)进行遣词造句,注意主谓一致和时态问题。
第4步:连句成文,注意使用恰当的连词进行句子之间的衔接与过渡，书写一定要规范清晰，保持整洁美观的卷面
是非常重要的。
【写作亮点】
本文内容完整,语言规范,语篇连贯,词数适当。作者在范文中使用了较多高级表达方式,如To help students better
suit and reshape the ever-shifting work landscape, 和 Moreover, some colleges cooperate with enterprises to make
classrooms more like workplaces and enhance students’ all round capabilities.中都出现非谓语动词的运用，全文中没
有中国式英语的句式,显示了很高的驾驭英语的能力。另外, 文章思路清晰、层次分明，上下句转换自然,为文章
增色添彩。
2. 阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。
These days, football is one of the most popular sports in the world. Given that Neil Armstrong wanted to take a
football to the Moon, we could even say that it is also the most popular sport out of this world! The history of the game
goes back over two thousand years to Ancient China. It was then known as cuju(kick ball), a game using a ball of animal
skins with hair inside. Goals were hung in the air. Football as we know it today started in Great Britain, where the game
was given new rules.
That football is such a simple game to play is perhaps the basis of its popularity. It is also a game that is very cheap
to play. You don't need expensive equipment; even the ball doesn't have to cost much money. All over the world you can
see kids playing to their hearts 'content with a ball made of plastic bags; just like Pele did when he was a boy.
Another factor behind football's global popularity is the creativity and excitement on the field. It is fun enough to
attract millions of people. You do not have to be a fan to recognize the skill of professional player-how they use theirbodies to pass, score and defend can be amazing to see-or to feel the excitement of a game ending with a surprising twist.
What's more, football has become one of the best ways for people to communicate: it does not require words, but
everyone understands it. It breaks down walls and brings people together on and off the field. Take, for example, the
famous football game on Christmas Day 1914. World War I had broken out months before, but British and German
soldiers put down their guns and played football together-one moment of peace to remember during years of conflict.
“Some people believe football is a matter of life and death, ...... “said Bill Shankly, the famous footballer and
manager. “I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.” This might sound funny, but one only has to
think about the Earth to realize that our planet is shaped like a football.
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【参考范文】
Football enjoys universal popularity with a history tracing back to Ancient China and its modern rules originating
from Great Britain. (要点 1)Such popularity lies first in the simplicity and low cost of playing the game. (要点
2)Creative football skills and exciting game atmosphere also contribute to its popularity. (要点3)Furthermore, football is
a means of communication beyond words, powerful enough to dissolve barriers and promote peace. ( 要 点 4)
Accordingly, football is more than just a sport. (要点5)(71 words)
【写作步骤】
1）细读原文。首先要仔细阅读短文，掌握文章主旨。文章主要说明了足球的历史可以追溯到古代中国，它的现
代规则起源于英国。这种流行首先在于游戏的简单和低成本。创造性的足球技巧和激动人心的比赛气氛也有助
于它的流行。此外，足球是一种超越语言的交流手段，它足以消除障碍，促进和平。因此，足球不仅仅是一项
运动。
2）弄清结构，归纳段意。概要写作是写全文概要，不是写某一部分的概要，或者就某些问题写出要点。因此一
定要弄清文章结构，归纳文章各段大意。
3）列出原文要点。分析原文的内容和结构，将内容分项扼要表述并注意在结构上的顺序。在此基础上选出与文
章主题密切相关的部分。
4）在写作时要特别注意下面几点：
（1）概要应包括原文中的主要事实，略去不必要的细节。（2）安排好篇幅的比例，概要应同原文保持协调，即用较多的文字写重要内容，用较少的文字写次要内容。
（3）注意要点之间的衔接，要用适当的关联词语贯通全文，切忌只简单地写出一些互不相干的句子，但也不要
每两句之间都加关联词语，以免显得生硬。
（4）不排斥用原文的某些词句，但不要照搬原文的句子，如果不能完全用自己的话语表达，至少对原文句子做
一些同义词替换，如果结构上也能有一些转换会更好。
（5）计算词数，看是否符合规定的词数要求。
3. 阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。
It was once common to regard Britain as a society with class distinction. Each class had unique characteristics. In
recent years, many writers have begun to speak of the “decline of class” and “classless society” in Britain. And in
modern day consumer society everyone is considered to be middle class.
But pronouncing the death of class is too early. A recent wide-ranging study of public opinion found 90 percent of
people still placing themselves in a particular class; 73 percent agreed that class was still a vital part of British society;
and 52 percent thought there were still sharp class differences. Thus, class may not be culturally and politically obvious,
yet it remains an important part of British society. Britain seems to have a love of classes.
One unchanging aspect of a British person's class position is accent. The words a person speaks show her or his
class. A study of British accents during the 1970s found that a voice sounding like a BBC newsreader was viewed as the
most attractive voice. Most people said this accent sounded “educated” and “soft”. The accents placed at the bottom in
this study, on the other hand, were regional (地区的) city accents. These accents were seen as “common” and “ugly”.
However, a similar study of British accents in the US turned these results upside down and placed some regional accents
as the most attractive and BBC English as the least. This suggests that British attitudes towards accent have deep roots
and are based on class prejudice.
In recent years, however, young upper middle-class people in London, have begun to adopt some regional accents,
in order to hide their class origins. This is an indication of class becoming unnoticed. However, the 1995 pop song
“Common People” puts forward the view that though a middle-class person may “want to live like common people” they
can never appreciate the reality of a working-class life.
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Currently Britain seems to be classless in the consumer society. (要点1)However, a study shows British still have a
strong sense of class which continues to be a crucial part for them. (要点2) What remains the same is that the accent
represents a person's class while people's attitudes to the accent are related to class prejudice. (要点 3)Nevertheless,
nowadays the young upper middle class cover up their origins with other accents. (要点4)
4. 阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇 60 词左右的内容概要。
With the development of the computer, virtual reality ( 虚 拟 现 实 ) steps in our life. If something is virtual,
then it is created by computer technology and appears as if it were real.VR is a computer system with a special
headset(耳机). When you put on the headset, you will look at two tiny television screens. They are so close to your eyes
as if you see just one picture and you will believe that you have entered a different world. In many systems, you also
wear special gloves. With the gloves you can reach out and touch things in the unreal world.
The first VR games, which have already been sold around the world,enable you to drive a sports car,fly a plane, or
fight an enemy.In the future, it may be difficult to tell the virtual world of the games from the real world outside.
However, VR is not just for entertainment. One day, delighted children will be able to learn history by visiting the
pyramids of Egypt. In addition,businesses will be able to use VR for many tasks. Pilot will be able to practise flying
virtual planes before they go into the air. VR can help us improve the world in hundreds of ways.
However, some people have warned that there could be dangers. It might be dangerous if we do something wrong,
or if people do not want to return to reality because it is safer than real life. Besides, we will forget how to live and work
with real people.
There will be some problems with VR, as it is new for us. However,one thing is for sure: VR is here to stay.Get
ready to step into another world!
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【参考范文】
VR is a computer system with a special headset and special gloves, which enables people to enter an unreal world.
It is applied to more and more fields, such as, entertaining people,educating children, dealing with business and training
pilots. However, it might be dangerous if people don’t use it properly. In conclusion, no matter what problems it brings,VR is sure to be part of people’s life in the near future.
【写作分析】这是一篇说明文。主要讲述了什么是虚拟现实技术以及它的应用。如果不正确使用的话，将会有
危险。
阅读短文可知，文章主要描述了虚拟现实技术，介绍了虚拟现实技术的定义以及其用途。以及若不正确使
用的话会有危险。但是总之，不管它带来什么问题，虚拟现实在不久的将来一定会成为人们生活的一部分。
结合大意进行英文写作，可参考短文内容，注意字数在60字左右。
5. 阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。
Parents everywhere praise their kids. Jenn Berman, author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy and Confident
Kids, says, “We’ve gone to the opposite extreme of a few decades ago when parents tended to be more strict.” By giving
kids a lot of praise, parents think they’re building their children’s confidence, when, in fact, it may be just the opposite.
Too much praise can backfire and, when given in a way that’s insincere, make kids afraid to try new things or take a risk
for fear of not being able to stay on top where their parents’ praise has put them.
Still, don’t go too far in the other direction. Not giving enough praise can be just as damaging as giving too much.
Kids will feel like they’re not good enough or that you don’t care and, as a result, may see no point in trying hard for
their accomplishments.
So what is the right amount of praise? Experts say that the quality of praise is more important than the quantity. If
praise is sincere and focused on the effort not the outcome, you can give it as often as your child does something that
deserves a verbal reward. “We should especially recognize our children’s efforts to push themselves and work hard to
achieve a goal,” says Donahue, author of Parenting Without Fear: Letting Go of Worry and Focusing on What Really
Matters. “One thing to remember is that it’s the process not the end product that matters.”
Your son may not be the best basketball player on his team. But if he’s out there every day and playing hard, you
should praise his effort regardless of whether his team wins or loses. Praising the effort and not the outcome can also
mean recognizing your child when she has worked hard to clean the yard, cook dinner, or finish a book report. But
whatever it is, praise should be given on a case-by-case basis and be proportionate(相称的) to the amount of effort your
child has put into it.
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_______________【参考范文】
Parents tend to go to extremes when it comes to praising their kids. (要点一) Yet, both too much and too little praise
can be equally damaging. (要点二) When giving praise, parents should be sincere and concentrate on the process instead
of the result. (要点三) Similarly, they ought to give praise for how much effort their kids have invested in the work
they’re involved in. (要点四)
