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I first tried online dating my freshman year of college, which
was in 2001, in case you can't see my wrinkle.
大学一年级时, 我第一次尝试网上约会, 那是在
2001年, 我承认这么说有些暴露年龄。[00:12]
Now, as you may have noticed, I'm six-feet tall, and when I
arrived at my chosen university and realized our men's
Division III basketball team averaged five-foot-eight,
你可能已注意到 我的身高有一米八, 当我进入大学
校园时, 就意识到校男子篮球队（第三区） 队员的
平均身高也才一米七多点儿,[00:20]
I abandoned the on-campus scene and went online.
所以就当机立断放弃校园约会, 而选择了网上约
会。[00:28]
Now, back then, online dating was pretty close to the plot of
"You've Got Mail."
那会儿的网上约会,像极了电影 《电子情书》里的
情节。[00:32]
You'd write long emails back and forth for weeks, before you
finally met up in real life.
你会连续好几周 写很多很长的邮件, 才最终决定约
出来见面。[00:36]
Except, in my case, you'd realize you have no chemistry and
so now, you're back to square one.
除了在我的例子里, 意识到俩人根本不来电后, 一
切又回到原点。[00:41]
So, while online dating has changed a lot in the last 17 years,
many of the frustrations remain the same.
虽然过去17年里 网上约会已经改变了很多, 但其中
很多问题依然存在。[00:46]
Because here's what it does well.
以下是网约软件做得好的地方:[00:53]
It broadens your pool of potential dates beyond your
existing social and professional circles.
它超越你现有的社交和工作圈, 拓宽了潜在约会对
象群;[00:55]
wrinkle: n.皱纹/vi.起皱/vt.使起皱纹 averaged: v.平均(average的过去式)/adj.平均的 abandoned: adj.被抛弃的;无约束
的;/v.抛弃(abandon的过去式和过去分词) back and forth: 反复地,来回地 back to square one: 从头再来;退回起点
frustrations: n.挫折 broadens: vi.扩大,变阔;变宽,加宽/vt.使扩大;使变宽
And here's what it doesn't do well.
这是它做的不好的地方:[01:01]
Literally everything else.
除了以上那条之外的所有方面。[01:03]
(Laughter) A few things you should know about me: I'm an
action-oriented overachieving math and theater nerd, who
ended up with an MBA.
（笑声） 我先做个自我介绍: 我是一个行动派, 数
学超好,而且是个戏剧迷。 还有一个工商管理硕士
学位。[01:06]
So, when things aren't working out, I tend to take a step
back, apply my business toolkit to figure out why, and to fix
it.
所以当事情发展不顺时, 我一般会选择以退为进,
运用我的商业技能工具 找出问题并解决它。
[01:14]
My love life was no exception.
我的感情生活也不例外。[01:21]
The summer before I turned 30, I took myself on a
relationship off-site.
在我即将30岁那一个夏天, 我给自己的感情生活放
了个假,[01:24]
Which means I went camping solo in Maine for a week, to do
a retro on my track record of mediocre relationships.
去缅因州独自露营了一周, 回顾了自己平凡的感情
经历。[01:28]
Because the thing was, I knew what I wanted in a partner.
事实是,我很清楚 自己想要什么样的伴侣。[01:35]
action-oriented: 行动导向 overachieving: vi.完成得比预期要好/vt.做得比预期的更好 nerd: n.呆子;讨厌的人 step back:
后退,退后;无意义 toolkit: n.工具包,工具箱 off-site: n.工地外;厂区外 camping: n.露营;野营/v.露营;扎营;临时安顿(camp的
ing形式) solo: n.独奏;独唱;独奏曲/adj.独奏的;独唱的;单独的/vt.单人攀登;单独驾/vi.单独表演;放单飞/adv.单独地 Maine: n.
缅因州(美国州名) retro: n.制动火箭,减速火箭;(服装式样等)重新流行/adj.复古的,(服装式样等)重新流行的 track record: n.
径赛成绩记录;过去的成绩或成就 mediocre: adj.普通的;平凡的;中等的
Kindness, curiosity, empathy, a sense of purpose.
善良、有好奇心、同理心, 还要心怀大志。[01:37]
And yet, here's what I chose for online: Ivy League degree, six
feet or taller, lives within 12 subway stops of me.
但是,我在网上写的 要求却是这样的: 常青藤大学
毕业、身高一米八或以上, 与我居住的地方 距离不
超过12个地铁站。[01:42]
It's not that I intentionally prioritized those things, it's just
the easiest to vet for online.
我不是故意要 把那些东西摆在首位, 而是这样的描
述在网上最容易筛查。[01:51]
which is why these guys looked great on paper and never
quite fit me.
这就是为什么这些男人 把自己写得那么棒, 却始终
不适合我。[01:58]
So when I went back online in the spring of 2016, I decided
所以2016年春季, 我再次回归网上约会时, 我决定
TED演讲者：Christina Wallace | 克里斯提娜 · 华莱士
演讲标题：How to stop swiping and find your person on dating apps | 如何停止在约会软件上滑屏
搜寻，找到真正的白马王子
内容概要：Let's face it, online dating can suck. So many potential people, so much time wasted -
- is it even worth it? Podcaster and entrepreneur Christina Wallace thinks so, if you do it right.
In a funny, practical talk, Wallace shares how she used her MBA skill set to invent a "zero date"
approach and get off swipe-based apps -- and how you can, too.
让我们面对这个事实吧，网上约会有时很糟糕。太多的潜在对象，太多的时间被浪费掉——这样做值得吗？
如果你有同感，播客主/企业家克里斯提娜 · 华莱士（Christina Wallace）也这样认为。 在这个有趣而实用
的演讲里，华莱士分享了她如何使用MBA技能发明出了一个“零约会”方法，而不再使用基于滑动的手机应
用——以及如何做到这些。
p
g
to reengineer the process through some classic business
tools.
用经典的商业手段 来调整我的作战策略。[02:03]
First, I went to OkCupid, because I wanted to avoid the
gamification of swipe-based apps.
首先我登陆了OkCupid, 因为我不想再用那些像游
戏一样、 需要不停滑动手机屏幕的软件,[02:10]
And also, because I wanted a writing sample.
而且还因为,我想要一份写作样本。[02:15]
Next, I set up a sales funnel, throwing out any sense of my
type, and instead defining the criteria that would qualify a
lead.
接着我建立了一个销售漏斗模型, 列出了我想要的
方方面面, 并且直接提供了符合要求的参考标准。
[02:18]
empathy: n.神入;移情作用;执着 taller: adj.更高的;高一点的 intentionally: adv.故意地,有意地 prioritized: v.优先化
(prioritize的过去分词) on paper: 以书面形式;在名义上 funnel: n.漏斗;烟囱/vt.通过漏斗或烟囱等;使成漏斗形/vi.通过漏斗
等;成漏斗形 defining: adj.最典型的;起决定性作用的/v.规定(define的ing形式);给…下定义;表明特征 criteria: n.标准,条件
(criterion的复数)
An inbound message had to do three things: had to be
written in complete sentences and with good grammar; it
had to reference something in my profile, so I know it's not a
copy-and-paste situation; and it had to avoid all sexual
content.
给我私信可以,但要做到三件事: 句子完整而语法无
误, 还须提到我的 个人简介里的一些内容, 以此证
明这不是复制粘贴, 并且还不能出现色情内容。
[02:27]
I figured this was a pretty low bar, but it turns out, of my 210
inbound messages, only 14 percent cleared that hurdle.
我想这门槛已经很低了吧, 但事实证明,在收到的
210条私信里, 只有14%的人全部符合要求。
[02:39]
(Laughter) Next, I wanted to meet in real life as quickly as
possible, because the things I cared about, I couldn't see
online.
（笑声） 接下来,我要在 现实生活中尽快见到他
们, 因为网上看不出他们是否 具备我所在意的那些
品质。[02:46]
But the research, and my experience, shows you only need
about 30 seconds with someone to tell if you click.
但根据研究以及自身经验得出, 你跟某人在一起只
需要30秒, 就能确定彼此来不来电。[02:54]
So I invented the zero date.
所以我发明了“零次约会”。[03:00]
The zero date is one drink, one hour.
意思就是:一杯饮料、一个小时。[03:03]
With the goal of answering one question: Would I like to
have dinner with this person?
目的就为了回答一个问题: “我想和这个人共进晚
餐吗？”[03:05]
Not "are they the one"?
而非“他们是我要找的人吗？”[03:10]
Literally, "Would I like to spend three hours across the table
from this person?"
真的只是,“我想和他在餐桌旁 呆三小时
吗？”[03:12]
inbound: adj.入境的;归本国的;回内地的/n.入站 hurdle: n.障碍;栏;跳栏/vt.克服/vi.克服;跳过 to have dinner: 吃晚饭
You tell them you have a hard stop -- drinks with girlfriends,
a conference call with China -- it doesn't matter, they don't
know you.
要提前说好,时间一到 就要立即停止—— 说约了别
的女性朋友也好, 与中国那边有个视像会议也罢
—— 这些都不重要,他们根本无从考证。[03:17]
The point is one hour.
关键是这一小时。[03:24]
If it's awesome, you schedule a first date.
如果感觉很棒的话, 那就计划第一次约会;[03:26]
And if it's not awesome, you downshift into entertainer
mode and you workshop a few new stories for your next
networking event.
如果感觉不好的话, 那就权且当作娱乐, 为下次网
约添几个新段子而已。[03:28]
Plus, because it's just an hour, you can squeeze up to three in
one evening and then you only have to do your hair and pick
out one great outfit a week.
另外,因为仅仅只有一个小时, 所以你一晚上可以约
三个人, 唯一要做的就是弄好发型, 然后选一套一
周里最好看的衣服。[03:35]
The zero date also gave me a chance to see how they
responded to me asking them out.
零次约会还能让我看到 对方面对我的邀约 会作何
反应。[03:43]
I figured not everyone would dig my moxie, and I was right. 我猜想,不会每个人 都吃我这一套,而事实证明我猜
对了。[03:47]
Of my 29 qualified leads, only 15 replied to my message, and
of those, six scheduled a zero date.
在精心挑选的29个人里, 只有15个人回了我的短
信, 而在这15个人里, 只有6人和我进行了“零次约
会”。[03:51]
conference: n.会议;讨论;协商;联盟;(正式)讨论会;[工会,工党用语](每年的)大会/vi.举行或参加(系列)会议 awesome: adj.令人
敬畏的;使人畏惧的;可怕的;极好的 downshift: vi.调低速档;工作降格/n.换低速档/vt.使…调低速挡;使工作降格 entertainer:
n.演艺人员,表演者 networking: n.计算机网络的设计;一种互助性的网络体系/v.交流(network的ing形式);联络 squeeze: vt.
挤;紧握;勒索/vi.压榨/n.压榨;紧握;拥挤;佣金 pick out: 挑选出 responded: v.回答,回报;反应(respond的过去分词) moxie:
n.精力;勇气
My first zero date was with a set designer.
我第一次“零次约会”的对象 是一名布景设计
师。[03:58]
And we were both into yoga and preferred our bagels with
peanut butter, so it looked pretty promising.
我们都喜欢练瑜伽, 都喜欢吃花生酱味的百吉饼,
所以这一切看起来都挺有希望的。[04:00]
But two minutes in, I could tell it wasn't going to be a thing
and I was relieved not to be spending dinner with him.
但两分钟之后我感觉没什么戏了, 不用跟他吃晚餐,
让我松了一口气。[04:04]
After that, I was a little nervous about going to my next zero 之后我对第二次的 “零次约会“有些紧张。
g
g
y
date.
[04:10]
But we had agreed to meet on the Brooklyn Heights
Promenade with a flask of whiskey to watch the sunset, and
honestly, it was two blocks from my apartment.
但我们已经约好了在 布鲁克林高地步道见面, 带上
威士忌、一起欣赏日落。 实话说,约会地点 离我的
公寓只有两个街区。[04:13]
Plus, this guy had a podcast, I have a podcast, worst case
scenario, we can talk about our podcasts.
而且,他有播客,我也有, 所以,最糟糕的情况 也不过
是聊聊彼此的播客。[04:21]
Then, Chaz set down next to me.
然后,查斯在我身边坐下,[04:27]
yoga: n.瑜珈(意为“结合”,指修行);瑜珈术;联想可360°翻转的平板电脑 preferred: adj.优先的;首选的/v.偏爱(prefer的过去
分词) bagels: 百吉饼(bagel的名词复数) Promenade: vi.散步/vt.散步,漫步;骑马/n.散步;舞会;骑马/adj.散步的 flask: n.[分
化]烧瓶;长颈瓶,细颈瓶;酒瓶,携带瓶 whiskey: n.威士忌酒/adj.威士忌酒的 podcast: n.播客 scenario: n.方案;情节;剧本
podcasts: n.播客(podcast的复数形式) set down: 放下;记下;看做;确定
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And this kind and empathetic man told great jokes and
asked even better questions.
这个善良、富有同理心的男人 讲了很棒的笑话, 还
问了更好的问题。[04:30]
He was a lawyer and a writer, and his eyes twinkled when he
laughed and they squeezed tight when I kissed him and at
some point in the evening, our zero date became a first date.
他是一名律师兼作家, 笑得时候眼睛都闪烁着光芒,
在我亲他的时候,又会紧紧闭上, 所以某种程度上,
当晚的“零次约会” 成了我们的“第一次约
会”。[04:36]
And two years later, we have a washer, dryer and two house
plants together.
两年以后,我们拥有了共同的 洗衣机、吹风机和两
盆室内盆栽。[04:45]
Now, I can't promise you're going to end up with house
plants.
我不能保证你们最后 也会有两盆室内盆栽,[04:49]
But the point of this story is that online dating doesn't have
to suck.
但我想说的是, 网上约会不一定总会很差劲。
[04:53]
Don't treat it like a game, and don't treat it like a resume
review.
不要把它当作一种游戏, 但也不要像筛简历一样。
[04:57]
Instead, use it to source and qualify leads and then get
offline as quickly as possible with the zero date.
相反,要把它当作 搜集优质人选的过程, 然后尽快
进行线下的“零次约会”,[05:01]
Because the point of this isn't swiping.
因为网上约会的目的 不是滑动手机屏幕而
已,[05:08]
It's finding your person.
而是找到那个对的人。[05:10]
empathetic: adj.移情作用的;同感的(等于empathic) twinkled: vi.闪烁;发亮/vt.使闪耀;闪耀/n.闪烁 squeezed: 挤压/塞进/
压榨/设法腾出 washer: n.[机]垫圈;洗涤器;洗衣人 dryer: n.烘干机;[助剂]干燥剂 offline: n.脱机;挂线/adj.脱机的;离线的,未
连线的/adv.未连线地 swiping: vt.猛击;偷窃;刷…卡/n.猛击;尖刻的话/vi.猛打;大口喝酒
Good luck.
祝大家好运。[05:13]
(Applause)
（掌声）[05:14]
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