2025 年学年第一学期浙南名校联盟十月联考
读后续写二次开发学案教师版
47. 阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
It’s my graduation day! The ceremony was to be held in a large auditorium downtown on a damp December
afternoon. As I prepared for this important day, choosing a simple black dress and even putting on makeup — both
unusual for me — my mind was occupied with anxiety rather than excitement.
Due to my neurological condition (神经系统疾病) that affected my mobility and coordination (协调性), the
upcoming ceremony filled me with fear. I had learned that I would need to negotiate a flight of stairs during the
proceedings. The mere thought of walking across the stage was terrifying enough, but the additional challenge of stairs
seemed impossible. To make matters worse, I would have to shake hands with my professors and receive my diploma
with my right hand, which has limited control due to my condition These seemingly small details felt like impossible
obstacles
Consumed by fear, I called Sally in tears, telling her I couldn’t go through with it. She had been my notetaker
throughout university because of my condition, but she was far more than that. We had been through many rough spots
during the past two years. We took all our classes together, studied together, and edited each other’s work.
Sally listened patiently as I poured out my anxieties. Then, she responded with determined support. “You are
walking, damn it!” she declared firmly. She promised to handle everything and made me promise to show up at the
auditorium. Though still fearful, I splashed cold water on my tear-stained face, touched up my makeup, and whispered
to myself, “I’m doing this.”
When I arrived at the auditorium, the reality of those frightening stairs hit me again. Just as panic began to seize
me. Sally found me immediately. She hugged me tightly and assured me, “I have it all worked out. It’s going to be
fine.” To my surprise, I noticed many of my classmates gathered nearby, their faces filled with warm smiles and
encouraging nods. At this, I felt a surge of strength flowing through me, though I still couldn’t imagine how I would
manage the challenges ahead.
注意：
1. 续写词数应为150 左右；
2. 请按如下格式在答题纸的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1: As my name was called, I took a deep breath and began moving toward the stage.
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Paragraph 2: Walking down the stairs on the other side, I felt an overwhelming surge of pride.
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【原文翻译】
毕业典礼
今天是我的毕业日！毕业典礼将于一个潮湿的十二月的下午，在市中心的一个大礼堂举行。
当我为这个重要的日子做准备，挑选了一条简单的黑色连衣裙，甚至化了妆——这对我来说都很
不寻常——我的脑海里充满了焦虑，而非兴奋。
由于我患有影响行动能力和协调性的神经系统疾病，即将到来的典礼让我充满了恐惧。我得
知在仪式过程中我需要走一段楼梯。仅仅是想到要走过舞台就足够可怕了，而额外的楼梯挑战似
乎是不可能的。更糟糕的是，我必须用右手与教授握手并接收毕业证书，而我的右手因病情控制
力有限。这些看似微小的细节感觉就像是不可能逾越的障碍。
被恐惧吞噬的我，哭着给莎莉打电话，告诉她我做不到。她因为我的病情在整个大学期间一
直是我的笔记记录员，但她远不止于此。在过去的两年里，我们共同经历了许多艰难的时刻。我
们一起上所有的课，一起学习，互相修改作业。
莎莉耐心地倾听我倾泻而出的焦虑。然后，她以坚定的支持作为回应。“你必须走上去，该
死的！”她坚定地宣布。她承诺会处理好一切，并让我保证会出现在礼堂。尽管仍然害怕，我还
是用冷水泼在泪痕斑斑的脸上，补了补妆，低声对自己说：“我要这么做。”
当我到达礼堂时，那些可怕的楼梯的现实再次打击了我。就在恐慌开始攫住我时，莎莉立刻
找到了我。她紧紧地拥抱我，并向我保证：“我都安排好了。会没事的。”令我惊讶的是，我注
意到许多同学聚集在附近，他们的脸上洋溢着温暖的微笑和鼓励的点头。看到这里，我感到一股
力量涌遍全身，尽管我仍然无法想象我将如何应对前方的挑战。
【写作训练步骤】
第一步：通读全文，深度解读
读情节：
开端: “我”在毕业典礼日，因神经系统疾病对典礼流程（尤其是走楼梯和握手）感到极度焦虑。
发展: “我”因恐惧向好友Sally 求助，Sally 给予坚定支持并承诺安排一切。
转折: 到达礼堂后，恐惧复发，但Sally 的及时出现、拥抱保证以及同学们鼓励的微笑和点头，给
了“我”力量。
高潮: 名字被叫到，“我”深吸一口气，开始走向舞台。悬念在于Sally 的“安排”究竟是什么，
以及“我”如何克服障碍。
读人物:
“我”: 一名患有影响行动和协调性的神经系统疾病的毕业生；内心敏感，充满恐惧但也渴望克
服困难；是故事的叙述者和情感核心。
Sally: 一位忠诚、可靠、富有同情心且充满行动力的朋友；不仅是笔记记录员，更是情感支柱和
问题解决者。
同学们: 集体支持的力量，他们的存在和表情增强了温暖和支持的氛围。
读时态：
全文以一般过去时为主，续写需严格保持一致。
读冲突：
外在冲突: 身体条件与毕业典礼物理要求（走路、楼梯、握手）之间的冲突。
内在冲突: “我”内心的恐惧、自我怀疑与渴望参与、完成学业的勇气和决心之间的斗争。
读情绪发展：
焦虑恐惧 → 崩溃求助 → 获得支持，重燃决心 → 恐惧复发 → 获得集体鼓励，力量涌动 →
（续写发展：克服挑战）→ （续写结局：自豪与感动）
读主题：
克服恐惧与逆境 (Overcoming Fear and Adversity)
友谊与支持的力量 (The Power of Friendship and Support)
包容与集体善意 (Inclusion and Collective Kindness)
个人成长与成就 (Personal Growth and Achievement)
第二步：【十句五定法】—— 搭建你的写作框架
请根据两个段落的开头语，构思并完成以下句子，以搭建清晰的段落结构。
段落
句子功能
你的句子构思
第一
段
1. 接续Hint1
描写走向舞台时的身体感受和周围环境（如同学、Sally 的目光）。
2. 动作推进
描述接近楼梯时看到的景象，揭示Sally 的“安排”（如同学形成人
墙、老师准备搀扶等）。
3. 有效过渡
描写“我”看到安排后的心理变化及迈出第一步的动作。
4. 有效衔接
描述走上楼梯的过程（可以缓慢，可以需要帮助，但重在坚持）。
5. 段落收束
以成功走上舞台，准备握手和接收文凭结束本段。
段落
句子功能
你的句子构思
第二
段
6. 接续Hint2
结合下楼梯的动作，细化“自豪感”的具体内涵（如战胜自我、不
负期望）。
7. 情节发展
描述下楼梯后的场景（如Sally 和同学们的迎接、教授的赞扬）。
8. 主题升华
通过一个细节（如一个拥抱、一阵掌声）点明友谊、支持或成长的
主题。
9. 结局呈现
交代“我”的情感收获和对未来的展望。
10. 富有余韵的
结尾
用一个象征或感悟的句子结束故事，回扣主题。
第三步：【微写作训练】—— 打磨你的语言
人物心理描写
紧张恐惧: My heart hammered against my ribs; A wave of dizziness washed over me.
下定决心: With renewed determination, I focused on the path ahead; I whispered words of
encouragement to myself.
自豪感动: A profound sense of accomplishment flooded me; Tears of joy welled up in my eyes.
情感描写
焦虑: My mind was a whirlwind of anxieties.
获得支持: A warm current of strength flowed into me.
喜悦与释然: A weight lifted from my shoulders, and a genuine smile finally found its way to my lips.
动作描写
小心翼翼地走: I took one cautious step after another, my grip tight on the railing.
坚定的握手: I willed my right hand to steady itself and met the professor's hand with as much firmness
as I could muster.
激动的拥抱: I fell into Sally's arms, all the pent-up emotions releasing at once.
环境象征描写
楼梯 -> 挑战与障碍: The staircase loomed ahead, a formidable mountain between me and my
milestone.
舞台 -> 成就与认可: The stage represented the culmination of years of struggle and success.
同学的笑容 -> 支持与包容: The sea of smiling faces became a safety net, catching me if I fell.
毕业证书 -> perseverance 与胜利: The diploma was not just a paper, but a trophy earned through
relentless effort.
【微写作训练】—— 为你的故事注入灵魂
训练目标： 积累精准的“高级词汇”，学会用具体的“画面”代替抽象的“感觉”，让你的续
写生动起来。
训练一：环境描写 · 烘托心情
（选择最贴合故事氛围的词语，并尝试造句）
心情
可选词汇（中英对照）
你的造句
紧张、
恐惧
心跳如鼓 (heart pounding like a drum); 模糊的
视线 (blurred vision); 沉重的脚步 (heavy
steps)
当我的名字被叫到时，，我走向舞
台的脚步变得。
转机、
希望
坚定的目光 (steady gaze); 鼓励的点头
(encouraging nods); 无声的支持 (silent support)
我看到Sally 投来_________，同学
们_________，这给了我力量。
成功、
喜悦
雷鸣般的掌声 (thunderous applause); 灿烂的笑
容 (beaming smiles); 如释重负 (a weight lifted)
当我走下舞台，响起，我感到。
训练二：人物刻画 · 于细微处见真情
（将左边抽象的描述与右边具体的表达连线，并选择一句仿写）
她很支持我。 A. She stood firmly by my side, her hand a steadying presence on my elbow, her eyes
saying, "I've got you."
我很害怕。 B. My knees felt weak, and my palms were slick with sweat as I stared at the daunting
staircase.
他们很鼓励我。 C. They formed a silent, smiling corridor of support, their eyes filled with unwavering
belief.
我选择仿写第____句： _________________________________________________________
训练三：情感表达 · 找到“高级替身”
（圈出你会在正式写作中使用的词语，并替换掉直白的表达）
想说 "afraid" ( 害怕): 试试 consumed by fear ( 被恐惧吞噬), terrified ( 惊恐万分), filled with
dread (充满恐惧)
想说 "determined" ( 坚定): 试试 with renewed resolve ( 带着重新燃起的决心), a steely
determination (钢铁般的决心)
想说 "proud" (自豪): 试试 an overwhelming surge of pride (一股强烈的自豪感), a deep sense of
accomplishment (深深的成就感)
例句升级： 原句：I was very afraid but also determined.
升级句: Though _________ gripped me, a _________ took hold, pushing me forward. (参考：a cold
fear; steely determination)
训练四：动作细节 · 让情感可视化
（请为以下情境，设计一个包含具体动作和身体反应的句子）
情境1：“我”小心翼翼地走上舞台楼梯。
直白版: I walked up the stairs carefully.
细节版: I _________, my hand _________, focusing on _________.
(参考：placed my foot deliberately on the first step; gripping the railing until my knuckles turned white;
each small movement)
情境2：“我”用控制力有限的右手与教授握手。
直白版: I shook the professor's hand with my right hand.
细节版: I _________, willing my fingers _________, and felt _________.
(参考：extended my right hand; to curl with as much control as possible; the professor's warm, firm
grasp in return)
训练五：象征与隐喻 · 让主题更深刻
（将抽象概念与具体意象连接，完成句子）
那段楼梯 (The flight of stairs) → 不仅是物理障碍，更是 ________ (a metaphor for all the obstacles
I had overcome in my academic journey)。
Sally 的安排 (Sally's arrangement) → 如同 ________ (a carefully woven safety net)，让“我”敢于
迈出艰难的一步。
那张毕业证书 (The diploma) → 在“我”手中，感觉比纸张更重，因为它承载着 ________ (the
weight of countless struggles and the lightness of ultimate victory)。
【微写作训练】参考答案
训练一：环境描写 · 烘托心情
紧张、恐惧: 当我的名字被叫到时，my heart pounded like a drum (我的心跳如鼓)，我走向舞台的脚步变得
heavy and unsteady (沉重而不稳)。
转机、希望: 我看到Sally 投来 a steady and reassuring gaze ( 坚定而令人安心的目光)，同学们 offered
encouraging nods (投来鼓励的点头)，这给了我力量。
成功、喜悦: 当我走下舞台，thunderous applause (雷鸣般的掌声)响起，我感到 a huge weight lifted from my
shoulders (重担从肩上卸下)。
训练二：人物刻画 · 于细微处见真情
连线答案: 1 - A; 2 - B; 3 - C
仿写示例 (第1 句): She was my anchor in the storm, her unwavering belief in me a constant source of strength.
训练三：情感表达 · 找到“高级替身”
例句升级: Though a cold fear gripped me, a steely determination took hold, pushing me forward.
训练四：动作细节 · 让情感可视化
情境1 (细节版): I placed my foot deliberately on the first step, my hand gripping the railing until my knuckles turned
white, focusing on each small movement.
情境2 (细节版): I extended my right hand, willing my fingers to curl with as much control as possible, and felt the
professor's warm, firm grasp in return.
训练五：象征与隐喻 · 让主题更深刻
那段楼梯 (The flight of stairs) → 不仅是物理障碍，更是 a metaphor for all the obstacles I had overcome in my
academic journey (我学业旅程中所克服的所有障碍的隐喻)。
Sally 的安排 (Sally's arrangement) → 如同 a carefully woven safety net (一个精心编织的安全网)，让“我”敢于
迈出艰难的一步。
那张毕业证书 (The diploma) → 在“我”手中，感觉比纸张更重，因为它承载着 the weight of countless
struggles and the lightness of ultimate victory (无数挣扎的重量和最终胜利的轻盈)。
【微动作训练】—— 让情感在行动中展现
训练目标： 学会用精准的动作描写来“显示”角色的内心世界，而不是直接“告诉”读者他是
什么感受。
训练一：动作-情绪绑定
（请根据中文提示，补全英文句子，完成“动作-情绪”的精准绑定）
场景：紧张前行
英文：She took a deep, steadying breath (深吸一口气以稳定情绪) and willed her feet to move
forward (驱使自己的双脚向前移动), one deliberate step (刻意的一步) at a time.
中文：她_________，，一次。
场景：获得支持
英文：Seeing Sally's outstretched hand (伸出的手) and confident nod (自信的点头), she felt a surge of
courage (勇气涌起).
中文：看到Sally 的_________和_________，她感到_________。
场景：成功喜悦
英文：Tears welled up in her eyes (涌上她的眼眶) as she clutched the diploma tightly (紧紧攥住毕业
证书) to her chest, her shoulders finally relaxing (肩膀终于放松下来).
中文：泪水_________，当地_________在胸前时，她的_________。
训练二：细节放大镜（请将简单的动作，通过添加1-2 个细节进行升级，使其更具表现力）
原句： She walked to the stage.
细节升级： She made her way slowly but steadily towards the stage (缓慢而稳定地向舞台走去), her
focus entirely on the path ahead (她的注意力完全集中在前方的路上).
原句： The professor smiled.
细节升级： The professor offered a warm, understanding smile (露出一个温暖、理解的微笑), his
eyes crinkling at the corners (眼角泛起笑纹).
你的练习：
原句： She hugged Sally.
细节升级： She _________, _________. (参考：fell into Sally's waiting arms; all the tension of the
day melting away in that embrace)
训练三：综合情景创作
（请运用以上所有技巧，为以下情景创作一个包含微动作描写的句子）
情景：“我”在Sally 和同学们无声的鼓励下，终于成功走上舞台，从院长手中接过毕业证书。
要求： 必须包含一个手部动作和一个面部或身体姿态的细节，来表现“我”的努力和院长的善
意。
你的创作：
（参考：As the dean placed the diploma in my waiting hands, I willed my fingers to close around it
firmly. A look of immense relief and gratitude must have been evident on my face, for the dean’s usual
formal smile softened into one of genuine warmth and respect.）
【微动作训练】参考答案
训练一：动作-情绪绑定
她 took a deep, steadying breath (深吸一口气以稳定情绪)，willed her feet to move forward (驱使自己的双脚向前
移动)，one deliberate step (刻意的一步) at a time。
看到Sally 的 outstretched hand (伸出的手) 和 confident nod (自信的点头)，她感到 a surge of courage (一阵勇气
涌起)。
泪水 welled up in her eyes (涌上她的眼眶)，当地 clutched the diploma tightly to her chest (将毕业证书紧紧攥在
胸前)时，她的 shoulders finally relaxed (肩膀终于放松下来)。
训练二：细节放大镜
你的练习:
原句： She hugged Sally.
细节升级： She fell into Sally's waiting arms, all the tension of the day melting away in that embrace.
训练三：综合情景创作
你的创作 (参考示例):
英文： As the dean placed the diploma in my waiting hands, I willed my fingers to close around it firmly. A look of
immense relief and gratitude must have been evident on my face, for the dean’s usual formal smile softened into one of
genuine warmth and respect.
中文： 当院长将毕业证书放入我等待的手中时，我努力让手指稳稳地握住它。我的脸上一定露出了巨大的宽
慰和感激之情，因为院长通常公式化的微笑变得柔和，充满了真诚的温暖和尊重。
第四步：综合训练与范文引导
训练：补全段落
Paragraph 1
As my name was called, I took a deep breath and began moving toward the stage. My heart pounded a
frantic rhythm
(猛烈地跳动着) in my chest, and my legs felt like they were made of lead (像灌了铅
一样). The staircase loomed ahead (赫然出现在前方), a daunting challenge. But then, I saw it. Sally
and two of my strongest classmates had positioned themselves along the railing (已经沿着栏杆站好
了位置), creating a
human support system
(人力支持系统). Sally gave me a small, encouraging
nod (小小的、鼓励的点头). With that, I reached for the railing
(伸手抓住栏杆), my hand trembling
only slightly. Placing one foot carefully on the first step, I felt a steadying hand (稳定的手) on my back
from a classmate behind me. Step by slow step, I ascended, my eyes fixed on Sally's reassuring
smile
(我的目光锁定在莎莉令人安心的微笑上). When I finally reached the top, the dean was
waiting, his expression kind and patient (他的表情亲切而耐心).
Paragraph 2
Walking down the stairs on the other side, I felt an overwhelming surge of pride. It wasn't just about the
diploma I now held; it was about conquering the mountain of my own fear (征服了我内心恐惧的高
山). Each downward step felt
lighter than the one before
(比前一步更轻盈). At the bottom, Sally was
there, her arms wide open. I fell into her embrace ( 投入她的怀抱), the
emotional dam finally
breaking (情感的堤坝终于决堤) as tears of joy streamed down my face. "You did it! I knew you
could!" she whispered. Around us, our classmates erupted into warm applause (爆发出热烈的掌声),
not just for my graduation, but for the small, personal victory they had all witnessed. In that moment, I
understood that my greatest achievement wasn't the degree, but the
unbreakable bonds of
friendship (牢不可破的友谊纽带) and the rediscovered belief in my own strength (重新找回的对自
己力量的信念) that had carried me through. The stairs no longer seemed like an obstacle, but
a testament to what I could overcome
(对我所能克服一切的证明).
