山东潍坊三模
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Joel Boyers is an experienced pilot(交代人物背景信息) in an air service company. One
day he and his wife Melody Among were heading home from the Nashville
airport after she earned her helicopter's pilot license when he received an
emergency call from a stranger in Pennsylvania. The caller told Boyers that her
daughter was trapped on a roof(冲突1) near a gas station in Waverly, 60 miles from
Nashville. She was surrounded by rising floodwaters caused
by August's record-
shattering rains(过去分词做原因状语) and didn't think she would survive.
Desperate(adj 做主语补语), the caller had Googled “ Nashville helicopters," and
Boyers’ company, Helistar Aviation, was the first to appear. She begged, Could
Boyers please, please rescue her beloved daughter? She added that her daughter
Lily was only nine! She wore a red sweater(给出Lily 的主要信息).
Boyers, 4l, looked west toward Waverly and saw the storm clouds. “
Madam ,”be said. “Do one will fly in this weather, and for good reason.”
But even before he finished the sentence, Boyers knew he would go back up.
“I've got a daughter myself,” Boyers comforted the desperate mother, “I will by
my best. " He put the girl's address into his phone, then he and Among drove back
to the airport. Soon, they were in the air, unprepared(adj 做主语补语)for
what they were
about to see in Waverly.
As soon as Boyers suddenly emerged over the hilltop, it was nothing but angry
water below(环境描写).There were two houses on fire. Cars in trees. Tons of debris(同构
句省略). People were clinging to anything that didn’t move roofs, trees, poles(名词并列).
The flooding also took out cell phone service, meaning( 现在分词做结果状语) Boyers
couldn't use his phone to pinpoint the house he was looking for. He flew on
anyway. Maybe he'd get lucky.
Outside the rain beat(beat-beat-beaten) the windscreen as he few, making
everything
unclear( 现在分词做结果状语). Below , streets had turned into fast-moving water,
swallowing cars and trees( 现在分词做结果状语). For twenty painful minutes, he circled the
flooded town , the searchlight cutting through the darkness(独立主格). Suddenly, on
the roof near a half-flooded gas station, a girl in red came into his eyes. It must be
Lily.
注意:1.续写词数应为150 左右;
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1: Boyers began to fly as close as possible to Lily.
Paragraph 2: Finally Lily was safely delivered to her mother.
山东潍坊三模
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Joel Boyers is an experienced pilot in an air service company. One day be and his
wife Melody Among were heading home from the Nashville airport after she earned
her helicopter's pilot license when he received an emergency call from a stranger in
Pennsylvania. The caller told Boyers that her daughter was trapped on a roof near a
gas station in Waverly, 60 miles from Nashville. She was surrounded by rising
floodwaters caused by August's record-shattering rains and didn't think she would
survive.
Desperate, the caller had Googled “ Nashville helicopters," and Boyers’
company, Helistar Aviation, was the first lo appear. She begged, Could Boyers please,
please rescue her beloved daughter? She added that her daughter Lily was only nine!
She wore a red sweater.
Boyers, 4l , looked west toward Waverly and saw the storm clouds. “
Madam ,”be said. “Do one will fly in this weather, and for good reason.”
But even before he finished the sentence, Boyers knew he would go back up.
“I've got a daughter myself,” Boyers comforted the desperate mother, “I will by my
best. " He put the girl's address into his phone, then he and Among drove back to the
airport. Soon, they were in the air, unprepared for what they were about to see in
Waverly.
As soon as Boyers suddenly emerged over the hilltop, it was nothing but angry
water below.There were two houses on fire. Cars in trees. Tons of debris. People were
clinging to anything that didn’t move roofs, trees, poles.
The flooding, also took out cell phone service, meaning Boyers couldn't use his
phone to pinpoint the house he was looking for. He flew on anyway. Maybe he'd get
lucky.
Outside the rain beat the windscreen as he few, making everything unclear.
Below , streets had turned into fast-moving water, swallowing cars and trees. For
twenty painful minutes, he circled the flooded town , the searchlight cutting through
the darkness. Suddenly , on the roof near a half-flooded gas station, a girl in red came
into his eyes. It must be Lily.
注意:1.续写词数应为150 左右;
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1: Boyers began to fly as close as possible to Lily.
Paragraph 2: Finally Lily was safely delivered to her mother.
一、读后续写类型与构思分析
分析维度
内容分析
续写类型
灾难救援类 + 亲情主题型叙事文本（典型“极端情境下的人性
光辉”题材），核心情感为父母的爱+陌生人的善意与勇气
写作类型特点
紧张、戏剧性强，强调动作、环境、心理与情绪层层推进，高度
动态画面描写结合深层情感推动
构思核心
紧扣“营救过程的展开”和“母女团聚情感高潮”，构建悬念—
紧张—突破—情感释放的故事山结构
布局策略
① 第一段突出：营救过程的“动作描写+心理变化”；② 第二
段呈现：情感高潮的“团聚+心理救赎”
实施原则
严格遵循原文背景设定，不能新增人物（只能写Boyers、Lily、
母亲），要承接“看到Lily 那一刻”开始推进情节
设计注意事项
① 合理控制危险与转机节奏，② 营救过程不能过度夸张但要体
现惊险感，③ 第二段需体现母女重逢、人物心理变化与善意传
递
高考要求落实
点
紧扣原文人物背景、行为逻辑与情绪线索展开，语言使用需有高
级语法结构与生动描写句群，逻辑严密，情节自然推进
二、故事山结构分析
故事结构
内容体现
起点
在空中看见穿红衣的小女孩（Lily）—— 引出行动起点
上升
飞行靠近、尝试营救，周围环境危险重重、操作受限—— 营造紧
张氛围
高潮
Lily 成功被救起—— 情节转折/危机解除
下降
飞行归程、回到安全区域—— 缓解张力
结局
Lily 与母亲团聚，Boyers 受到感激—— 情感释放/主题升华
三、原文与续写的衔接分析
分析角度
内容
原文反应句（证据支持）
人物刻画
Boyers 冷静坚定、有责任感、
有同理心的父亲形象
“I’ve got a daughter myself.” “I will
try my best.”
情感层次
母女情深 + 陌生人善意 + 救
援者使命感
“Please, please rescue her…”“She was
only nine.”
关键情节点
飞行搜救→发现Lily→成功救
起→母女团聚
“Suddenly, on the roof near a half-
flooded gas station…”
分析角度
内容
原文反应句（证据支持）
语言特色
动态描写与视觉冲击力语言结
合，使用短句制造紧张感
“Cars in trees.” “People were
clinging…”
关键词分析
flood, angry water, red sweater,
rescue, gas station
“She wore a red sweater.”“swallowing
cars and trees.”
心理描写
紧张、担忧、希望、坚定
“Maybe he’d get lucky.” “Boyers
knew he would go.”
动作描写
飞行定位、搜救盘旋、接近目
标、施救动作
“He flew on anyway.”“He circled the
flooded town.”
环境描写
洪水、水中车辆、树木、黑
夜、风雨交加
“It was nothing but angry
water…”“rain beat the windscreen”
隐含主题
父母之爱、人与人之间的善意
与信任、救援者精神
“I’ve got a daughter myself.” “He
knew he would go back up.”
情感转折
“找不到”到“发现红衣女
孩”，从绝望到希望
“Suddenly… a girl in red came into
his eyes.”
空间转换
空中搜寻 → 降落屋顶 → 飞
返安全地带
“He flew on anyway.” → “on the
roof…” → “delivered to her mother.”
时间过渡
起飞到发现女孩经历20 分钟
焦急等待
“For twenty painful minutes…”
四、伏笔、冲突、隐含线索与解决方案分析
分析项
内容
伏笔设置红色毛衣 → 成为识别关键
冲突点
洪水致通讯中断 + 恶劣天气 + 目标位置模糊
隐含线索母亲电话+红衣+加油站位置 → 搜索范围与人物特征
解决路径借助目力与探照灯识别目标 + 技术与勇气结合营救
五、续写建议与技巧总结
续写段一：动作营救过程
承接句：Boyers began to fly as close as possible to Lily.
内容聚焦：
环境危险描写：风暴、屋顶不稳、电线晃动；
动作细节描写：控制直升机高度、调整角度、扔下绳索；
Lily 的反应：惊恐、但看到直升机露出希望；
心理交叉描写：Boyers 内心焦虑但坚定，Lily 紧张又依赖；
突破点：成功把Lily 拉上飞机。
续写段二：回程与情感升华
承接句：Finally Lily was safely delivered to her mother.
内容聚焦：
Lily 母亲的情绪：激动、流泪、反复道谢；
Lily 表现：扑入母亲怀抱、眼中含泪；
Boyers 内心变化：疲惫但满足，想到自己女儿；
环境转折：暴雨初歇、天色微亮——象征希望；
情感升华结尾：母亲说 “You’re a hero, thank you.”，Boyers 回答：
“Any parent would do the same.”
3. 动作描写 / 心理描写 / 环境描写
动作描写——用于表现人物动作紧张、有力、精准
He tightened his grip on the control stick, eyes fixed on the target.
他紧握操纵杆，目光锁定目标。
The helicopter hovered steadily above the rooftop.
直升机稳定地悬停在屋顶上方。
Boyers leaned out slightly, scanning the flooded area below.
Boyers 稍微探出身子，扫描着下方被洪水淹没的区域。
She waved both arms desperately, standing on tiptoe.
她绝望地挥舞着双臂，踮起脚尖。
He reached down, extending the rescue rope toward the girl.
他俯身，将救援绳索伸向女孩。
He adjusted the altitude to avoid crashing into a pole.
他调节高度以避免撞上电线杆。
His fingers trembled as he steadied the machine.
当他稳定飞行器时，手指微微颤抖。
The girl clutched the rope with all her strength.
女孩用尽全力紧紧抓住绳索。
Rain lashed against the windshield, reducing visibility.
雨点猛烈地拍打着挡风玻璃，能见度骤降。
He pulled her aboard with a final powerful yank.
他用最后一股力量猛地将她拉上了机舱。
心理描写——反映人物焦灼、坚定、恐惧或欣慰
His heart pounded as he spotted the red figure.
当他看到那抹红色身影时，心跳加速。
A mix of fear and hope surged through his chest.
恐惧与希望交织涌上心头。
Doubts nagged at him, but he pushed them aside.
疑虑纠缠着他，但他强行抛在脑后。
He couldn’t bear the thought of losing a child.
一想到可能失去一个孩子，他便无法承受。
Relief washed over him when he saw Lily was unharmed.
看到Lily 安然无恙，他如释重负。
Every second felt like an eternity.
每一秒都如同永恒般漫长。
Determination lit up in his eyes.
他眼中燃起了坚定的光芒。
He reminded himself that someone’s life depended on him.
他提醒自己，有人的生命正系于他一身。
Anxious thoughts flooded his mind.
焦虑的念头涌上心头。
He swallowed hard, trying to stay calm.
他艰难地咽了口唾沫，努力保持冷静。
环境描写——塑造紧张、危机四伏的背景
The town was drowning under a blanket of murky water.
整个小镇淹没在一片浑浊的水面下。
Rain poured down in sheets, turning roads into rivers.
暴雨倾盆，道路变成了河流。
The sky was a dark, swirling canvas of storm clouds.
天空布满旋涡状的乌云，仿佛一幅阴郁的画布。
Rooftops and treetops peeked through the floodwater.
只有屋顶和树梢从洪水中露出。
Lightning flashed across the sky, illuminating the chaos.
闪电划破长空，照亮了这片混乱。
Burned-out cars floated in the currents like broken toys.
烧毁的汽车像破碎的玩具一样在水中漂浮。
Sirens echoed faintly through the stormy air.
警报声在风雨交加的空气中隐约回荡。
Smoke curled up from buildings in the distance.
远处的建筑冒着缕缕浓烟。
Everything was either underwater or barely hanging on.
一切不是被水淹没，就是摇摇欲坠。
The wind roared like a wild beast.
狂风咆哮，如同猛兽怒吼。
常见单词高级替换词
场景
常用词
高级替换词
适用语境
情绪
sad
devastated, heartbroken, grief-
stricken
表人物深层情绪反应
描述
big
massive, enormous, overwhelming 洪水、水流、困难等场景
移动
walk
stagger, stumble, stride, march
救援过程中的动作
看
look
gaze, glance, scan, peer
寻找、观察动作表达
说
say
whisper, murmur, exclaim, assure
对话中更具体的情感传达
4. 固定搭配与词法解析
固定搭配与词法解析
be trapped on → 被困于（某处）
e.g. She was trapped on the roof.
用法：trap 作动词，过去分词作被动
cling to sth. → 紧紧抓住
e.g. People were clinging to trees.
词性：不及物动词短语，强调依附
cut through the darkness → 划破黑暗（象征希望）
e.g. The searchlight cut through the darkness.
emerge over the hilltop → 从山顶上方显现
比“appear”更具动感与画面感
do one’s best → 尽全力
经典句型，表达坚定承诺
可积累语料、词语详解
1. debris 词性：n. （不可数）残骸，碎片
近义词：wreckage, ruins
反义词：structure, integrity
例句：Tons of debris floated on the floodwater.
Debris blocked the rescue path.
2. hover 词性：v. 悬停，盘旋
近义词：hang, float, drift
反义词：descend, dive
例句：The helicopter hovered above the house.
Birds hovered in the air, confused by the storm.
3. faintly 词性：adv. 模糊地，微弱地
近义词：dimly, weakly
反义词：clearly, strongly
例句：Sirens echoed faintly in the background.
She smiled faintly, trying to stay brave.
4. grip 词性：n./v. 紧握，控制
近义词：hold, grasp
反义词：release, let go
例句：He tightened his grip on the stick.
The girl lost her grip for a second.
5. roar 词性：v./n. 咆哮，怒吼
近义词：howl, thunder, bellow
反义词：whisper, murmur
例句：The wind roared like a beast.
He had to shout over the roar of the storm.
5. Possible Versions(3)
Version 1
Paragraph 1: Boyers began to fly as close as possible to Lily. Although the
wind was strong and the rain lashed against the helicopter, Boyers tightened his grip
on the control stick and carefully lowered the aircraft(人物动作描写). He could now see
Lily waving both arms desperately, her red sweater
like a flame in the
darkness(独立主格与环境做对比). With his heart pounding, he maneuvered the helicopter to
hover steadily above the house. A brief opening in the wind allowed him to
position closer(无灵主语句). The rooftop was slippery and unstable, but the urgency in
Lily’s eyes strengthened his resolve(无灵主语句). “Hold on, Lily!” he shouted through the
speaker, his voice almost drowned by the storm(独立主格刻画惊险). He threw down a rope
ladder, praying(现在分词做伴随动作) she had the strength to climb. Lily hesitated,
trembling
with fear
(现在分词做伴随动作), but then she moved. Inch by inch, she ascended,
her little hands clenched tightly(独立主格刻画人物). Just as a gust nearly pulled her away(增
加冲突信息), Boyers tilted the aircraft slightly to shelter her. Finally, she grabbed the
door and Among pulled her in. Cheers erupted in the cabin.
Paragraph 2: Finally Lily was safely delivered to her mother. Tears streamed
down her mother’s face(无灵主语句刻画人物的情绪) as the helicopter
landed
and the cabin door
swung open. The moment
Lily stepped out
(the moment... 一...就), her mother raced forward,
hugging
her
(现在分词做伴随动作) as if she’d never let go. “Thank you,” she choked out to
Boyers, who stood silently, overwhelmed
by relief
(过去分词短语做主语补语). The red sweater,
now soaked and muddy, had become a symbol of hope fulfilled(赋予物新的含义). Among
helped the mother steady Lily as paramedics approached, checking
her for
injuries(现在分词做伴随动作). Meanwhile, Boyers stood beside the helicopter, gazing
at the
sky now clearing up(现在分词做伴随动作), a deep calm settling in his heart(独立主格刻画人物状态). He
thought of
his own daughter
and felt a sense of shared humanity
that words
couldn't express. Though soaked and exhausted, he knew he had done what a
father should do—not just for his own child, but for someone else's(递进进一步升华主旨). It
wasn’t just a rescue—it was a silent promise(递进描写) kept
under a stormy sky
(过去分词做
后置定语).
Version 2
Paragraph 1: Boyers began to fly as close as possible to Lily. Hovering over
the submerged
gas station
(现在分词做伴随动作), Boyers scanned the rooftop for any signs
of danger before moving in. Despite the
howling
winds and
blinding
rain
, he
controlled the helicopter with masterful precision. Lily clutched a chimney pipe,
clearly terrified(过去分词做adj 刻画人物)but trying to stay strong. Boyers lowered the
aircraft cautiously, maintaining
a stable height
(现在分词做伴随动作). He knew one
mistake could tip the helicopter or knock the girl into the raging waters(进一步增加冲突感).
He threw down the rescue sling and spoke firmly into the radio: “Lily, listen to
me! You’re safe now. Just hold on!” Her small frame trembled(刻画人物), but she
nodded, slowly sliding into the sling(现在分词短语做伴随动作). Among
secured
her from
inside as Boyers
steadied
the aircraft with calm expertise
. A sudden jolt of wind
rocked the helicopter(进一步增加冲突感), but Boyers remained composed. As they rose into
the stormy sky, Lily was finally safe, her red sweater fluttering in the wind like a
victory flag(独立主格刻画环境).
Paragraph 2: Finally Lily was safely delivered to her mother. As the
helicopter touched down near the emergency responders, a woman broke
through the crowd with tears streaming down her cheeks(人物刻画). “Lily!” she
cried, collapsing
into her daughter’s arms
(现在分词做伴随动作). The girl clung tightly to
her mother, sobbing
(现在分词做伴随动作)uncontrollably. Boyers stepped back, watching
the emotional reunion with quiet satisfaction(现在分词短语做伴随动作，刻画人物形象). He and Among
exchanged a glance—both drenched, exhausted, yet deeply fulfilled(人物描写，adj 并列).
The firefighters offered warm blankets and medical care(救援必备项目), while Lily’s mother
turned to Boyers and whispered, “You saved my world.” He smiled modestly,
shaking
his head
(现在分词做伴随动作). “She saved herself. I just gave her a lift.” As the skies
began to clear(环境描写), Boyers felt something shift inside him—not just as a pilot,
but as a man(递进描写刻画人物形象) who understood what it meant to answer the call when
it mattered most.
Version 3
Paragraph 1: Boyers began to fly as close as possible to Lily. The closer he
flew, the more chaotic the scene became(the more... the more... 句式结构), but Boyers blocked out
the fear and focused only on the girl. She was drenched, shivering(现在分词刻画人物状态),
and looked(动作串) like she hadn’t slept in days. Every gust of wind shook the
aircraft violently(增加救援的冲突感), yet Boyers refused to pull back. He remembered the
mother's desperate voice and his own daughter’s smile. “One more push,” he
muttered. The helicopter edged over the roof, and Among readied the harness.
“Lily!” Boyers shouted through the speaker. “You can do it, sweetie!” The girl
blinked up, and with surprising courage, she grabbed the harness. Boyers held
steady as Among pulled her in, both of them soaked in sweat and rain(独立主格刻画人物状
态). The moment
she was safe inside
(the moment... 一... 就), a collective breath filled the
cabin(无灵主语句). The nightmare wasn’t over, but hope had taken its first real breath.
Paragraph 2: Finally Lily was safely delivered to her mother. When the
helicopter
landed on
the open field
near the rescue center, dozens of eyes turned(这个
算不算借代), but one pair ran forward. Her mother
cried out Lily’s name,
arms
outstretched(独立主格刻画母亲形象), and the girl ran into them, both collapsing into each
other’s arms(独立主格刻画人物). Watching
from above
(现在分词做伴随动作), Boyers sat motionless
in the pilot seat, drained but content(adj 做主语补语). He had stared into danger and flown
through it for a child he’d never met. A medic came up, offering thanks(现在分词做伴随动
作) and aid, but Boyers only nodded. “She was brave,” he said softly, then looked
toward the horizon. The morning sun broke through the clouds at last(环境描写),
casting
golden light over the flooded town
(现在分词做自然的结果状语). In that moment, Boyers
knew he’d done more than save a life—he’d reminded everyone what courage,
love, and humanity truly meant.
语言亮点与表达积累
高频地道表达与搭配
clutch (v.) 紧握 → clutch the ladder, clutch a chimney pipe
steady the aircraft 稳定飞机
emotional reunion 情感重逢
rescue sling 救援吊带
roar of the wind 狂风呼啸
shared humanity 共同的人性
hovering above 悬停在……上空
give someone a lift（俚义）帮助某人脱困
情绪与心理描写词语积累
tremble with fear 吓得发抖
overwhelmed by relief 被释然包围
sob uncontrollably 无法控制地哭泣
courage sparked in her eyes 眼中闪现勇气
voice choked with emotion 声音哽咽
silently grateful 默默地感激
动作描写亮点词
maneuvered carefully 小心操作
reached down 把手伸下
pulled her in 把她拉进
tightened his grip 握紧操控杆
raced forward 冲上前去
词汇升级与替换
常见词
高阶替换词
示例短语
help
assist / aid
render aid to sb.
scared
terrified / panicked she was terrified but brave
look
gaze / scan
scan the horizon
big
enormous / massive massive floodwaters
happy
relieved / overjoyed overwhelmed with relief
替换例句：
She was terrified as the wind roared around her. (=very scared)
The pilot rendered aid with incredible bravery. (=helped)
He gazed into the darkness, hoping to find her. (=looked)
The flood caused massive destruction. (=very big)
Her mother was overjoyed to hold her again. (=very happy)
