文档文本内容
读后续写主题通关——家庭亲情
2021 年全国新课标Ⅰ卷
引言解读
本文解析 2021 年新课标全国 I 卷 “家庭亲情类” 读后续写题《A Mother's Day Surprise》，其续写
围绕双胞胎 Jenna 和 Jeff 母亲节为母亲准备早餐时遭遇吐司烤焦、粥溢出等挫折展开，核心主旨是展现
“挫折中的亲情包容” 与 “孩子的成长”，传递 “心意重于完美” 的温情理念，即便计划受挫，孩子
的努力与心意也能被感知，协作与坚持亦是成长的体现。
原文解码(what to read)
My wife and I wanted to share our new home with family and friends by hosting a small
gathering in the early summer. She had prepared lots of snacks, while my job was to have the
backyard in order.
There was plenty of space for the kids to run and play. There was just one thing I hadn't counted
on: My brother chose to bring his dog Toby, a 50 pound ball of fire. Though friendly, he could
easily knock over my niece's small boys and my six month old granddaughter. So, when my
brother showed up, I asked him to watch Toby and keep him outside.
My plan was working out just fine. Toby was using up his energy by running back and forth in
the backyard and giving the kids plenty of room. Unexpectedly, after supper, the weather changed. It
started to rain and everyone went indoors.
It was an awkward moment. I didn’t want Toby to be running around in the house, and my
brother wasn't happy with driving home with a wet dog. Eventually, my brother decided to leave
rather than force the issue.
A few days passed, and I hadn't heard anything from my brother. I texted him and expressed
wishes for him to come out again. His reply came as a surprise — a shock, actually: "Not a chance."
Clearly, he was unhappy over the way we had parted. After all, I had left him little choice. Well, he'll
get over it, I reasoned.
Two months passed. My wife suggested I get in touch with my brother, but I resisted, thinking
he should call first. However, my conscience(良心) kept bothering me. I tried to put myself in my
brother's shoes. He was facing health issues and his wife of thirty five years had passed away a few
months earlier. Toby was his constant companion, the one who kept him going.
注意：
(1) 续写词数应为150 个左右；
(2) 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
I realized it was me who was at fault.
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With the biscuits my wife had made, I arrived at my brother's door.
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文本解读：拆解已知信息
（1）段落大意表
Para.
who
what
when
emotion
1
2
3
（2）关键线索标记
时间：_________________________________________________________
地点：_________________________________________________________
人物关系：_________________________________________________________
未解决冲突：_________________________________________________________
学生常见误读案例
1.
误将 “chicken porridge” 理解为 “鸡肉汤”，忽略 “porridge”（粥）的烹饪特点（需长时
间熬煮，与后续 “溢出” 情节相关）。
2.
过度强调双胞胎的 “笨拙”，忽略原文中 “they knew exactly what to do” 体现的自信，续
写时未体现从失败到成长的转变。
3.
遗漏 “父亲出现” 的线索，未让父亲发挥引导作用，直接跳过解决冲突的过程。
构思逻辑(what to write)
主旨推导：锚定续写方向
（1）原文情感词 / 动作词提炼
情感词：_________________________________________________________
动作词：_________________________________________________________
（2）主旨预判
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语言提升(how to write)
语言积累：场景化表达库
（1）高频动词/动词短语
烹饪相关：
boil over（溢出）、fry（煎）、burn（烤焦）、scrape off（刮掉）、stir（搅拌）、
arrange（摆盘）
情感相关：
sigh（叹气）、smile through tears（含泪微笑）、hug tightly（紧紧拥抱）、pat gently
（轻拍）
动作相关：
rush in（冲进来）、clean up（清理）、hold carefully（小心捧着）、wake up（叫醒）
（2）高分句型
动作描写类
v-ing/v-ed +
①
其它，主语 + 动作 1 + 其它
例：Burning with embarrassment, Jeff stared at the blackened toast in the sink.（感到尴尬，杰
夫盯着水槽里烤焦的吐司。）
② 主语 + 动作 1 + 动作 2， and 动作 3 + 其它
例：Jenna grabbed a cloth, wiped the stove, and signaled Jeff to restart the porridge.（Jenna 抓
起抹布擦炉子，示意杰夫重新煮粥。）
情感描写类
③ 形容词 1 and 形容词 2，主语 + 动词 + 其它
例：Tired and frustrated, the twins sank onto the chairs, unsure what to do next.（又累又沮
丧，双胞胎瘫坐在椅子上，不知下一步该做什么。）
Sb. felt a sense of +
④
情绪名词 + welling up from one’s heart.
例：Jeff felt a sense of relief welling up from his heart as Dad showed them how to adjust the
heat.（当爸爸教他们调火候时，杰夫心中涌起一阵释然。）
主旨句
⑤ 强调句型
例：It was not the perfect breakfast but the love behind it that touched Mother deeply.（不是完
美的早餐，而是背后的爱深深打动了母亲。）
⑥ 倒装句
例：Never had the twins realized that even messy efforts could be full of warmth.（双胞胎从未
意识到，即使笨拙的努力也能充满温暖。）
⑦ 定语从句
例：The kitchen, which had been a mess an hour ago, now smelled of fresh porridge and toast.
（一小时前还一片狼藉的厨房，现在弥漫着新鲜粥和吐司的香味。）
其它
With
⑧
复合结构
例：With Dad’s guidance, the twins managed to fix the breakfast in no time.（在爸爸的指导
下，双胞胎很快就做好了早餐。）
⑨ 无灵主语
例：Morning sunlight streamed through the window, lighting up the small table set with their
creations.（晨光透过窗户，照亮了摆着他们作品的小桌子。）
⑩ 独立主格结构
例：Hands trembling, the twins carried the tray upstairs, their hearts beating fast.（双胞胎双手
颤抖地捧着托盘上楼，心跳得飞快。）
（3）小试牛刀
① 意识到自己的错误后，我知道是时候主动联系哥哥，修复我们的关系了。
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② 刮掉烤焦的部分，Jenna 努力让吐司看起来像样些，眼里满是决心。
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③ 又担心又焦虑，母亲躺在床上，纳闷孩子们那天早上怎么这么安静。
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④ 看着双胞胎全力以赴，爸爸心中涌起一阵自豪。
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⑤ 正是这顿虽不完美却充满诚意的早餐，让母亲热泪盈眶。
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⑥ 随着第一缕阳光照进厨房，孩子们脸上露出了期待的笑容。
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⑦ 从未有人告诉过他们，失败中蕴含的努力比成功本身更有意义。
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⑧ 那碗热气腾腾的粥，寄托着孩子们对母亲最真挚的爱。
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实践演练
续写实操：从构思到落笔
情节构思三原则
逻辑连贯：___________________________________________________________
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细节支撑：___________________________________________________________
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呼应主旨：___________________________________________________________
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迁移训练
总结与迁移
1)
核心步骤回顾
文本解读融主旨，段落拆解要素明。
人事物时情细看，时空人物冲突清。
背景信息莫轻弃，误读陷阱要绕行。
情感动作细提炼，主旨方向早判定。
贴合原文不偏离，核心思想显其形。
2)
价值导向藏文中，呼应主题贯始终。知识迁移创新
为下面故事续写：
奶奶从老家来城里小住，带了一麻袋自己种的红薯，堆在阳台角落占了大半空间。初
三的儿子嫌红薯土气又占地方，趁奶奶午睡时偷偷把半麻袋红薯丢进了楼下的垃圾桶。
奶奶醒来发现红薯少了，坐在阳台抹眼泪，嘴里念叨着 “这是特意给娃留的蜜薯，蒸着
吃最甜了”。妈妈在楼下倒垃圾时看到垃圾桶里的红薯，认出是奶奶带来的，她拎着半
袋红薯上楼，推开儿子房间的门时，看到他正对着习题册发呆。
Mother put the sweet potatoes by the door, her tone calm but heavy as she sat beside her
son.
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The boy slowly raised his head, his voice tight as he twisted the corner of his clothes.
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