10 原文分析促进续写重构
续写点的挖掘策略
续写原文含有丰富的故事情节和语言知识，学习者在续写时，通过不断回顾原文，寻找续写线索，即
续写点，来展开续写，确保续篇情节合理、衔接良好、主题明确、内容丰富、语言风格一致。续写材料为
“续”提供语境，具有支架功能，能促进语言理解和有效输出。从故事背景、故事情节、情感线索、所给
段首句、文章主题、语言风格六方面对续写点进行挖掘，能帮助学习者高效地展开续写，从而写出高质量
续篇。
（一）从故事背景中寻找续写点
故事背景即对人物、事件起作用的历史情况或现实环境。对应着记叙文六要素中的 5W。此处主要分
析时间（When）和地点（Where）。人物（Who）、事件（What）、原因（Why）将在故事情节和情感线
索这两部分讨论。
以浙江卷 2021 年 1 月高考读后续写为例。该读后续写语篇类型是记叙文，主题语境是人与社会，
故事原材料讲述了作者在万圣节发生的一件事。故事发生的时间是万圣节前夕。此处涉及到国内外文化差
异，中国学生对于万圣节的文化背景知识了解较少，因而影响了对续写点的捕捉。首先，万圣节是国外全
民关注和参与的节日，雕刻南瓜是一项主要活动。在续写中第二段，可以写视频发布到网上之后，作者受
到了网民的关注，pumpkin 也成为了a minor celebrity，人们争相与之自拍；其次，因为故事是在国外发生
的，在续写中可以补充视频上传的网站是 You Tube；另外，作者要把头从南瓜里拔出来，可以求助消防部
门，这一点和中国是相同的；最后，万圣节雕刻南瓜的活动氛围是轻松愉快的，作者家庭选举最大南瓜的
传统比赛活动氛围也是欢乐的，因此，在续写中要体现出和谐的家庭氛围。
故事发生的地点是在家里厨房内，另一个地点是作者的部分掏空的南瓜内部的半封闭空间，空间相对
固定和狭小。在续写中，可以从两个角度来扩大写作的空间。首先是用心理空间和动作来弥补物理空间的
不足，即用主人翁的心理描写和动作描写弥补情节的不足。对心理活动的描写可使用虚拟语气，比如：
How I wish I had never forced m y head inside the
pumpkin just to prove m y point。其次，可以在情节合理的情况下，进行空间的转换。比如：“我”因妈妈
拍摄上传的视频而走红，“我”在万圣节外出参加活动，被陌生人认出，他们请求与“我”合影并到
“我”家参观“我”的南瓜。
（二）从故事情节中寻找续写点
故事的每个情节在结构上照应前文、承上启下、埋下伏笔、为后面的情节做铺垫并且推动着下一个情节的发展；在内容上交代环境、塑造人物形象、突出主题。故事的情节可以简要概括为：何人在何时何地
做何事。六要素中的 who（人物）是记叙文的核心，组织和推动着情节的发展。Why（原因）是 what
（事件）发展的原因。How 指向故事的结局。
浙江卷 2021 年 1 月高考读后续写故事线索清晰，以故事线“万圣节雕刻南瓜—头试南瓜—身陷窘
境—智取脑袋—分享经历”为主线。文章以万圣节雕刻南瓜、选出最大的南瓜作为开篇情节。情节的发展
部分，作者为了证明自己的南瓜最大，把头塞进南瓜里。高潮部分，作者在短暂的兴奋之后，弯下腰，在
弟弟 Jason 的帮助下，把南瓜靠在桌面得以短暂休息。
在此期间，作者尝试把头拔出来，却以失败告终。情节的展开总体上要遵循 Conflict（Problem）—
Solution 原则，即在续写部分要解决原文出现的问题或者矛盾。比如，作者为了证明自己的南瓜最大，把
头卡在南瓜里。续写就要写家人如何把作者解救出来，从而形成首尾呼应。此外，续写情节展开还要关注
以下几点。
首先，在续写中不宜新增或者删减主要角色，更不要更换主角，还要对原文人物进行或多或少的照应。
原文出现的人物是父亲、母亲、三个弟弟和一个妹妹。原文提及，父亲有一个规则，即我们要把自己找到
的最大的南瓜带回家。在续写中，可以安排父亲这一家庭主要角色来参与救助作者。其次，续写中的人物
性格不宜大变。从原文我们看出作者是一个开朗、幽默而有趣的人。在续写中，故事是从作者的角度基于
听觉和思考两个方面展开，也应该继续展示出作者开朗而幽默的个性。比如：作者头在南瓜里听到家人们
仿佛都十分冷静，两个弟弟在商量如何救出自己，而最小的弟弟居然在唱歌。在成为网红后，作者受到陌
生人邀请进行合照，欣然答应。
再次，不要随意添加与原文脱节的细节。原文提到母亲在进行摄像，在续写中也应该是母亲在摄像而
不能忽然换成弟弟或者妹妹。最后，续写的情节既要和原文保持一致，又要符合生活常识，合情合理。比
如，作者把头从南瓜里拔出来的过程应该是安全的，因此续写中不能把救助过程写得危险了，比如，用刀
来切开南瓜就是不合理情节。
（三）从情感线索中寻找续写点
情感线是记叙文的辅线，是贯串全文的脉络，把文中的人物和事件有机地连在一起，使文章条理清楚、
层次清晰。原文作者的情感线是“兴奋—求胜心切—兴奋—惊慌—焦虑”。我们可以推断接下来作者的情
感变化来进行续写。在作者等待救援的过程中，她听到了家人的反应是淡定而有趣的。比如：Dad rushed
in，stood still and then burst into laughter.I heard him propose calling the fire department while m y beloved m
om stopped him，for she was filming the
rare sight.在节日欢快的气氛里，作者的焦虑得到缓解，变成了还没被营救出来的沮丧。在作者被成功解救
之后，她内心是释然的。当视频上传到网上，她成为了网红，受到了关注，她的情感是有点尴尬但从容、愉快和兴奋的。这部分续写对于作者的情感，可以间接表达，通过描述作者和家人受到了关注，被认出来，
被邀请合照这样的情节体现出来。续写部分情感变化遵循 Negative—Positive 原则，无论前面的情感如何
变化，最后都是积极的。
（四）根据所给段首句寻找续写点
两个段落所给的段首句也属于原文。首先，第一段续写内容要和第一段首句以及原文内容保持一致。
原文第一段首句内容是，“虽然时间只过去了五、六分钟，但还是感觉要长得多。”因此，第一段可以描
写作者是如何在爸爸和家人的帮助下得救的。比如 ：Dad got me to push my head farther into the pumpkin
so Mom could reach in and undo the rubber band round m y ponytail.其次，第一段续写的段尾要和第二段所给
首句内容保持一致。原文第二段首句内容是，“这段视频是在万圣节前的周一发布的”，可推断第一段段
尾要交代视频的拍摄情况。比如：Mom laughed. Actually, she was holding a cam era and shooting m y whole
embarrassment.最后，第二段续写内容要和第二段首句以及原文内容保持一致。第二段可描写作者头被卡在
南瓜里这段视频在网上的走红情况，以及视频走红对作者家人和作者的影响。比如：Passers- by and trick-
or- treaters would knock and ask，“Which is Rachel’s pumpkin?”before taking selfies with it.
（五）归纳文章主题寻找续写点
记叙文的主题往往在续写第二段段尾出现。基于原文，从以下两方面来挖掘。首先，从故事中提炼出
生活哲理，或者根据主要内容用名人名言、谚语来通过评论进行主题升华。其次，可以抒发感受或者对结
局的画面感来进行描述取代评论。
浙江卷 2021 年 1 月高考读后续写原文主要内容分享了作者在万圣节经历的由惧变趣的故事。如果
选用第一种方式，通过进行评论升华主题，可以以自嘲的方式幽默风趣的结尾。比如：As the eldest kid，I
remained cool and busy doing my usual Halloween routine. Occasionally，I would laughed at myself.what a
clumsy girl! 原文的目的不是为了揭示某种生活哲理，而是分享趣事。因此，选用第二种方式展示主题更
能和原文内容保持一致，形成首尾呼应，营造欢乐的节日氛围。比如：What a different Halloween. 或者
Anyway，we had a happy and unforgettable Halloween.
（六）从原文语言风格中寻找续写点
语言风格包括文章的情感基调、丰富的句式、生动的细节描写、环境描写、对话、修辞。首先，原文
文字传达出来的是humorous；cheerful；comfortable； relaxing；harmonious的背景氛围。在续写中，要与
这种文字风格保持一致。其次，原文使用了丰富的句式：同位语从句；宾语从句；时间状语从句；with 的
复合结构；强调句；形容词作状语；非谓语动词；独立主格。续文也要尽量使用这些句式。再次，原文使
用了地道而准确的细节描写，包括动
作描写：bent over；pressed...against...；got jam m ed；briefly prevented entry等；以及心理描写：unwillingto quit；I got into a panic；My excitement was shortlived 等。续文的动作描写要准确、细致、丰富。心理描
写要用准确的形容词和动词，比如：My heart began beating like a drum in m y chest and I could feel m y face
burning.最后，原文仅使用了少量的 短对话，续文对话也不宜过多过长，甚至可以不使用对话。
整体产出续写语篇的技巧
例文：
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Jenny was the only child in her home. She had a quarrel with her mother that afternoon and she ran
out of the house angrily. She couldn’t help weeping when she thought of the scolding from her mother.
Having wandered in the street for hours， she felt a little hungry and wished for something to eat. She
stood beside a stand for a while ， watching the middle-aged seller busy doing his business.
However， with no money in hand， she sighed and had to leave.
The seller behind the stand noticed the young girl and asked， “Hey， girl， you want to
have the noodles？”
“Oh， yes ... but I don’t have money on me，”she replied.
“That’s nothing. Ill treat you today，”said the man.“Come in.”
The seller brought her a bowl of noodles ， whose smell was so attractive. As she was
eating， Jenny cried silently.
“What is it？”asked the man kindly.
“Nothing， actually I was just touched by your kindness！”said Jenny.“Even a stranger on the
street will give me a bowl of noodles， while my mother drove me out of the house. She showed no
care for me. She is so merciless compared to a stranger！”
Hearing the words， the seller smiled，“Girl， do you really think so？ I only gave you a
bowl of noodles and you thanked me a lot. But it is your mother who has raised you since you were a
baby. Can you number the times she cooked for you？ Have you expressed your gratitude to her？”
Jenny sat there， speechless and numb with shock; she remembered Mothers familiar face and
weathered hands.“Why did I not think of that ？ A bowl of noodles from a stranger made me feel
grateful， but I have never thanked my mum for what she has done for me.”On the way home， Jenny made up her mind to make an apology to her mother for her rudeness as
soon as she arrived home.
注意：
1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右;
2. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好。
Paragraph 1：
Nearing the doorway， Jenny took a deep breath.
Paragraph 2：
A gentle touch on her hair called her mind back.
步骤一：读懂大意， 理清脉络
根据记叙文的六要素弄清文章大意，特别要弄清故事的人物及人物之间的关系、时态（通常是一
般过去时）、事件（故事的起因和经过），以及语言特色（以便在续写时语言特色前后一致，保持不
变），等等。 本文的人物和事件如下：
据此可知，所给材料主要情节或故事发展的脉络如下：
珍妮跟母亲吵架，离家出走，街上游荡几个钟后，感觉饥饿。
好心人给她一碗面吃，她感动流泪。
这位陌生人告诉她，母亲将她养大，给她做了无数次饭菜，应当感谢她的母亲。
珍妮意识到自己错了，决定回家向妈妈道歉。
珍妮跟母亲吵架，离家出走，街上游荡几个钟后，感觉饥饿。
好心人给她一碗面吃，她感动流泪;这位陌生人告诉她，母亲将她养大，给她做了无数次饭菜，应
当感谢她的母亲。
珍妮意识到自己错了，决定回家向妈妈道歉。
另外，本文的语言特色：
（1）有较多的人物對话。
（2）用了较为高级的语法结构。如：
形容词作补语：Jenny sat there， speechless and numb with shock.
分词短语作状语：
She stood beside a stand for a while， watching ...
Hearing the words， the seller smiled ...
步骤二：细读首句，构思框架
仔细阅读所给两段的首句，结合正能量结尾，思考大致框架。本题所给两段首句为：
Nearing the doorway， Jenny took a deep breath.（走到门口，珍妮深吸了一口气）
A gentle touch on her hair called her mind back.（轻轻一碰她的头发，她的思绪又回来了）
由续写的第一段首句与第二段首句确定第一段的框架。
由第一段首句可知，珍妮应是鼓起勇气敲门回家，但从第二段首句来看，“轻轻碰她的头发”的
应是母亲，因为人物就三个，续写中一般不要随意冒出一个新的人物，除非情节发展的需要;“思维回
来”说明第一段中，珍妮回家没见到母亲，在回忆跟母亲吵架的事，或在回忆母亲多年的关爱。第二
段才出现母亲，第一段应是母亲不在家，那么母亲去哪里了呢？根据常识，女儿出走，应是找她女儿
去了。
第二段的框架，由第二段首句与正能量结尾来确定。
故事内容一定要正能量，弘扬社会主义核心价值观。如迷路了但最终一定回到了家;失败了或遇到
困难了，但最终一定成功了;吵架了但最后一定是言归于好，和睦相处;犯错了，最后一定会改过自新，
重新做人;贼逃了，最后一定是绳之以法，等等。
因此，根据正能量原则，本文的结尾，应是母女和好。
第二段的框架是，母亲回来，女儿道歉，母亲原谅，母女和好。
步骤三：增加细节，开始写作
在已定框架范围内，依据情节发展和生活常识，推断故事中人物所见、所闻、所思、所说、所做
等给每段增加5至8个具体细节。如本题的第一段可以构思以下细节：
第一段
鼓足勇气，推门进屋/母亲外出，不知何处/累而难过，沙发上坐/争吵场面，浮现脑海/自己粗鲁，
愧对其母/母亲责骂，皆因关爱/自感羞愧，泪流脸颊
第二段
抬头一望，看见母亲/到处找你，你在这里/母亲虽累，松了口气/扑入怀里，道歉致谢/母亲听后，
喜在心头根据一致性原则，除内容上要语义衔接，上下连贯外，语言风格也要一致，应使用分词语短和形
容词作状语等。
在确定框架、增加细节之后，就可以开始写作了。
步骤四：修改润色，整洁誊写
初稿完成后要认真检查，注意语义是否衔接，前后是否连贯，事件是否符合逻辑，语言特色是否
与前文一致。在修改润色之后，整齐工整地誊写在答卷上。
【参考范文】
Paragraph 1：
Nearing the doorway， Jenny took a deep breath. When she pushed the door open and entered the
house， she found her mother was not in. Tired and sad， she sank down onto the sofa.“Where could
my mother be？”she wondered.“Was she still angry with me？”Again， the scene of the quarrel
appeared in her mind. She remembered her rudeness to her mother. Realizing that all the scolding from
her mother was due to the fact that her mother really cared a lot about her， she felt rather
ashamed， and tears began to roll down her cheeks.
Paragraph 2：
A gentle touch on her hair called her mind back. She raised her head and saw the familiar face of her
mother.“Here you come！I’ve been looking for you，”she said， tired and relieved. Jenny couldn’t
help throwing herself into her mothers arms. “Mum， I’m so sorry and thank you for all you have done
for me.”She expressed her sincere apology and great gratitude. Hearing this， her mother
smiled， patting her back gently.
写作策略实践与强化
1．阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
When I was four years old, I got stung(刺痛) by a bee twice in one week! After that, I had a fear of bees.
When I saw bees or heard any sound from bees, I fled away immediately. That was why my parents suggested that I
learn about bees instead of being frightened. I went to libraries to borrow some books about bees, and I tried to
watch videos about bees, though I didn’t like them at first. And gradually, I was interested in what I read and
watched. I learnt that bees could help make the food we ate because of their pollination(传授花粉). Take pizza, for
example. If we didn’t have bees to pollinate(给……授粉) tomato plants, we wouldn’t have tomatoes for sauce. And
we wouldn’t have cheese without pollination, either.But, at the same time, I learnt some bad news.One was that bees were struggling to survive. Many were dying.
Some scientists thought it might be because of the chemicals that were used to kill other insects. What would
happen if there were no more bees? I wanted to help. I thought, “What if I make lemonade, sell it, and raise money
and donate it to groups who are saving bees?” I talked to my grandmother, Helen. She was a good cook and she
was supportive when she knew what my plan was. She gave me her recipe for lemonade. It came from a cookbook
from 1940. She had used it herself for more than 50 years. She always made lemonade for us when we visited her at
weekends. And we all liked it. Most importantly, she promised to help me make it.
注意：续写词数应为150左右。
My parttime job as a cook started immediately.
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My dad showed me how to improve my sales.
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2．阅读下面材料, 根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段, 使之构成一篇完整的短文。
My husband hasn’t stopped laughing about a funny thing that happened to me. It is funny now but it wasn’t at
that time.
Last Friday, after doing all the family shopping in town, I wanted a rest before catching the train, so I bought a
newspaper and some chocolate and went to the station coffee shop—that was a cheap, self-service place with long
tables to sit at. I put my heavy bag down on the floor, put the newspaper and chocolate on the table to keep a place
and went to get a cup of coffee.
When I came back with the coffee, there was someone in the next seat. It was one of those wild-looking
teenagers, with dark glasses and torn clothes, and hair coloured bright red at the front, not so unusual these days.
What did surprise me was that he had started to eat my chocolate!Naturally, I was annoyed. However, to avoid trouble—then really I was rather uneasy about him—I just
looked down at the front page of the newspaper, tasted my coffee, and took a bit of chocolate. The boy looked at me
closely. Then he took another piece of my chocolate, I could hardly believe it. Still I didn’t want to start an
argument. When he took a third piece, I felt more angry than annoyed. I thought, “Well, I shall have the last piece.”
And I got it.
The boy gave me a strange look, and then stood up. As he left, he shouted out, “This woman is mad!”
Everyone stared at me. That was really embarrassing enough, but it was worse when I finished my coffee and got
ready to leave. My face went red—as red as his hair when I realised I’d made a mistake. It wasn’t my chocolate
he’d been taking. There was mine, unopened, just under my newspaper.
注意：续写词数应为150左右。
At that time, I felt that the teenager was really annoying.
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Now I am wondering what the boy thought of me.
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3．阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
It was 11 p.m. when Alex Conrad saw the woman on the Main Street Bridge. She was standing by the railing,
peering down at the rushing Chippewa River below. At her feet was what appeared to be a backpack.
Maybe she’s fishing, Conrad, then 20, thought as he continued driving his car to his home a short distance
away. His friend’s car had broken down, so Conrad was making a quick pit stop to grab some tools before heading
out to help.
Tools in hand, he climbed into his car. Instead of taking a shortcut, though, he chose to head back over the
bridge. Something about that woman didn’t sit right. Why would she be fishing this late at night— in May, whenit’s still cold in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin?
As he crossed the quarter-mile-long bridge, Conrad saw the woman standing in the same spot. He pulled a U-
turn and parked on a zebra crossing some 20 feet away with the hazards lights flashing, blocking one of the four
lanes. In case there was trouble, he hoped another driver would take note and help.
He stepped out of his car and got a clearer picture of the scene. The woman was in her 20s,dressed in pants
and a heavy coat. What he’d thought was a backpack was in fact rope pooled by her feet. One end was tied to a
bridge post. The other, around her neck.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Conrad called out. He pretended not to see the rope although he knew exactly what
was going on.
She spoke unwillingly, but he kept probing(追问), eventually pulling from her that she was going through a
particularly rough difficulty. She was jobs, not doing well in school—in short, life wasn’t working out as she’d
hoped.
注意：
1.续写词数应为150左右;
2.请在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Para 1:
“Not everything goes as planned,” agreed Conrad.
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Para 2:
Just then, bright lights appeared and it was the police.
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参考答案
1．
【答案】
My parttime job as a cook started immediately. Every weekend I went to my grandma’s house to put my plan
into action.Then gradually I could make lemonade well. Besides, an idea occurred to me. I added honey to her old
recipe. That way, I could sell the lemonade and donate some of the money to groups that were helping to save bees.
I could also support local beekeepers by using their honey in my product. And I could educate others on the
importance of bees and help to save them.
My dad showed me how to improve my sales. At first, I sold lemonade at a stand(摊位) at a kids’ park. But I
wanted to help bees all year round. Then my father took me to a pizza place near where I lived. They promised to
sell it. Later, more stores agreed to sell it, too. To my delight, we sold lots of bottles in a year, raised lots of money
and saved more bees. I felt proud of that.
2．
【答案】
At that time, I felt that the teenager was really annoying. At first sight, I hated the way he dressed and
behaved, especially when he took my chocolate to eat. What’s more, the boy ate my chocolate time after time
without asking for my permission. When I was finally aware of the truth, I knew I had wronged him and I felt sorry
for this. You can imagine how embarrassed I was to have made a mistake like this in the presence of so many
passengers. I wanted to see him, explain it to him and admit my fault.
Now I am wondering what the boy thought of me. Maybe at that time he felt as annoyed as me, thinking that
there should be such a woman in the world who was so greedy as to eat others’ chocolate. Maybe he also felt it was
a funny thing and shared the amusing story with his classmates. Or perhaps now, he has forgotten the whole
incident already. But no matter which case it is, I sincerely hope that such embarrassing things will never happen
again.
3．
【答案】
“Not everything goes as planned,” agreed Conrad. He started talking about the ups and downs he’d faced in
his life. As he talked, he inched closer. Conrad was a quiet guy, but now he found enough topics of conversation tokeep the woman engaged and even laughing. She grew comfortable enough to let him get within a few feet of her.
Then suddenly without warning, she climbed onto the railing. Conrad reached for her. He threw his arms around
her, hauling her down off the railing. She grabbed the railing, saying, “I’m not worth it.” Heart pounding, Conrad
said, “I refuse to give up.”(97words)
Just then, bright lights appeared and it was the police. Someone had reported Conrad’s car for being parked on
the bridge—just as he’d hoped. Two officers raced over and took hold of the woman, and soon, more police arrived
and the woman was taken to safety, and then to a hospital for observation. Everyone present sighed in great relief.
What was unusual in the whole episode was what Alex Conrad did. One officer was so impressed by Conrad’s
actions that he suggested he consider a career as a police negotiator. Conrad just smiled, making no response.(87
words)
