2025 年学年第一学期浙南名校联盟十月联考
读后续写二次开发学案学生版
47. 阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
It’s my graduation day! The ceremony was to be held in a large auditorium downtown on a damp December
afternoon. As I prepared for this important day, choosing a simple black dress and even putting on makeup — both
unusual for me — my mind was occupied with anxiety rather than excitement.
Due to my neurological condition (神经系统疾病) that affected my mobility and coordination (协调性), the
upcoming ceremony filled me with fear. I had learned that I would need to negotiate a flight of stairs during the
proceedings. The mere thought of walking across the stage was terrifying enough, but the additional challenge of stairs
seemed impossible. To make matters worse, I would have to shake hands with my professors and receive my diploma
with my right hand, which has limited control due to my condition These seemingly small details felt like impossible
obstacles
Consumed by fear, I called Sally in tears, telling her I couldn’t go through with it. She had been my notetaker
throughout university because of my condition, but she was far more than that. We had been through many rough spots
during the past two years. We took all our classes together, studied together, and edited each other’s work.
Sally listened patiently as I poured out my anxieties. Then, she responded with determined support. “You are
walking, damn it!” she declared firmly. She promised to handle everything and made me promise to show up at the
auditorium. Though still fearful, I splashed cold water on my tear-stained face, touched up my makeup, and whispered
to myself, “I’m doing this.”
When I arrived at the auditorium, the reality of those frightening stairs hit me again. Just as panic began to seize
me. Sally found me immediately. She hugged me tightly and assured me, “I have it all worked out. It’s going to be
fine.” To my surprise, I noticed many of my classmates gathered nearby, their faces filled with warm smiles and
encouraging nods. At this, I felt a surge of strength flowing through me, though I still couldn’t imagine how I would
manage the challenges ahead.
注意：
1. 续写词数应为150 左右；
2. 请按如下格式在答题纸的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1: As my name was called, I took a deep breath and began moving toward the stage.
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Paragraph 2: Walking down the stairs on the other side, I felt an overwhelming surge of pride.
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【原文翻译】
毕业典礼
今天是我的毕业日！毕业典礼将于一个潮湿的十二月的下午，在市中心的一个大礼堂举行。
当我为这个重要的日子做准备，挑选了一条简单的黑色连衣裙，甚至化了妆——这对我来说都很
不寻常——我的脑海里充满了焦虑，而非兴奋。
由于我患有影响行动能力和协调性的神经系统疾病，即将到来的典礼让我充满了恐惧。我得
知在仪式过程中我需要走一段楼梯。仅仅是想到要走过舞台就足够可怕了，而额外的楼梯挑战似
乎是不可能的。更糟糕的是，我必须用右手与教授握手并接收毕业证书，而我的右手因病情控制
力有限。这些看似微小的细节感觉就像是不可能逾越的障碍。
被恐惧吞噬的我，哭着给莎莉打电话，告诉她我做不到。她因为我的病情在整个大学期间一
直是我的笔记记录员，但她远不止于此。在过去的两年里，我们共同经历了许多艰难的时刻。我
们一起上所有的课，一起学习，互相修改作业。
莎莉耐心地倾听我倾泻而出的焦虑。然后，她以坚定的支持作为回应。“你必须走上去，该
死的！”她坚定地宣布。她承诺会处理好一切，并让我保证会出现在礼堂。尽管仍然害怕，我还
是用冷水泼在泪痕斑斑的脸上，补了补妆，低声对自己说：“我要这么做。”
当我到达礼堂时，那些可怕的楼梯的现实再次打击了我。就在恐慌开始攫住我时，莎莉立刻
找到了我。她紧紧地拥抱我，并向我保证：“我都安排好了。会没事的。”令我惊讶的是，我注
意到许多同学聚集在附近，他们的脸上洋溢着温暖的微笑和鼓励的点头。看到这里，我感到一股
力量涌遍全身，尽管我仍然无法想象我将如何应对前方的挑战。
【写作训练步骤】
第一步：通读全文，深度解读
读情节：
开端: “我”在________日，因________对典礼流程感到________。
发展: “我”因恐惧向好友________求助，她给予________。
转折: 到达礼堂后，________，但________的及时出现和________的鼓励，给了“我”力量。
高潮: ________，“我”深吸一口气，开始走向舞台。
读人物:
“我” 是一名________；内心________。
Sally 是一位________、________的朋友。
同学们 是________的力量。
读时态：
全文以________时为主，续写需严格保持一致。
读冲突：
外在冲突: ________与________之间的冲突。
内在冲突: ________与________之间的斗争。
读情绪发展：
请梳理“我”的情感变化线索：
________ → 崩溃求助 → ________ → 恐惧复发 → ________ → （续写发展）→ （续写结
局）
读主题：
你认为这个故事的核心主题是什么？（至少写出一个）
________________________________________________________________________
第二步：【十句五定法】—— 搭建你的写作框架
请根据两个段落的开头语，构思并完成以下句子，以搭建清晰的段落结构。
段落
句子功能
你的句子构思
第
一
段
1. 接续Hint1
描写走向舞台时的身体感受和周围环境。
2. 动作推进
描述接近楼梯时看到的景象，揭示Sally 的“安排”。
3. 有效过渡
描写“我”看到安排后的心理变化及迈出第一步的动
作。
4. 有效衔接
描述走上楼梯的过程。
5. 段落收束
以成功走上舞台，准备握手和接收文凭结束本段。
第
二
段
6. 接续Hint2
结合下楼梯的动作，细化“自豪感”的具体内涵。
段落
句子功能
你的句子构思
7. 情节发展
描述下楼梯后的场景。
8. 主题升华
通过一个细节点明友谊、支持或成长的主题。
9. 结局呈现
交代“我”的情感收获和对未来的展望。
10. 富有余韵的结尾
用一个象征或感悟的句子结束故事。
第三步：微写作训练—— 打磨你的语言
训练一：环境描写 · 烘托心情
（选择最贴合故事氛围的词语，并尝试造句）
心情
可选词汇
你的造句
紧张、
恐惧
心跳如鼓 (heart pounding like a drum);
沉重的脚步 (heavy steps)
当我的名字被叫到时，，我走向舞台的脚
步变得。
转机、
希望
坚定的目光 (steady gaze); 鼓励的点头
(encouraging nods)
我看到Sally 投来_________ ，同学们
_________，这给了我力量。
成功、
喜悦
雷鸣般的掌声 (thunderous applause); 如
释重负 (a weight lifted)
当我走下舞台，响起，我感到。
训练二：人物刻画 · 于细微处见真情
（将左边抽象的描述与右边具体的表达连线）
她很支持我。 A. She stood firmly by my side, her hand a steadying presence on my elbow, her eyes
saying, "I've got you."
我很害怕。 B. My knees felt weak, and my palms were slick with sweat as I stared at the daunting
staircase.
他们很鼓励我。 C. They formed a silent, smiling corridor of support, their eyes filled with unwavering
belief.
我选择仿写第____句： _________________________________________________________
训练三：情感表达 · 找到“高级替身”
（请用更高级的词汇替换括号中的词）
想说 "afraid" (害怕): 试试 ________________ (被恐惧吞噬), ________________ (惊恐万分)
想说 "determined" (坚定): 试试 ________________ (带着重新燃起的决心), ________________ (钢
铁般的决心)
想说 "proud" (自豪): 试试 ________________ (一股强烈的自豪感), ________________ (深深的成
就感)
例句升级： 原句：I was very afraid but also determined.
升级句: Though _________ gripped me, a _________ took hold, pushing me forward.
训练四：动作细节 · 让情感可视化
（请为以下情境，设计一个包含具体动作和身体反应的句子）
情境1：“我”小心翼翼地走上舞台楼梯。
细节版: I _________, my hand _________, focusing on _________.
情境2：“我”用控制力有限的右手与教授握手。
细节版: I _________, willing my fingers _________, and felt _________.
训练五：象征与隐喻 · 让主题更深刻
（完成句子，使其更具文学色彩）
那段楼梯 (The flight of stairs) → 不仅是物理障碍，更是________________。
Sally 的安排 (Sally's arrangement) → 如同________________，让“我”敢于迈出艰难的一步。
那张毕业证书 (The diploma) → 在“ 我” 手中，感觉比纸张更重，因为它承载着
________________。
第四步：微动作训练—— 让情感在行动中展现
训练一：动作-情绪绑定
（请根据中文提示，补全英文句子）
场景：紧张前行
中文：她_________，，一次。
场景：获得支持
中文：看到Sally 的_________和_________，她感到_________。
场景：成功喜悦
中文：泪水_________，当地_________在胸前时，她的_________。
训练二：细节放大镜
（请将简单的动作，通过添加细节进行升级）
原句： She walked to the stage.
细节升级： She ________________, ________________.
原句： The professor smiled.
细节升级： The professor ________________, ________________.
你的练习：
原句： She hugged Sally.
细节升级： She _________, _________.
训练三：综合情景创作
（请运用以上所有技巧，为以下情景创作一个包含微动作描写的句子）
情景：“我”在Sally 和同学们无声的鼓励下，终于成功走上舞台，从院长手中接过毕业证书。
要求： 必须包含一个手部动作和一个面部或身体姿态的细节。
你的创作：
________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________.
第四步：综合训练与范文引导
训练：补全段落
Paragraph 1
As my name was called, I took a deep breath and began moving toward the stage. My
heart______________________________( 猛烈地跳动着) in my chest, and my legs felt like they
______________________ (像灌了铅一样). The staircase ___________________ (赫然出现在前方),
a daunting challenge. But then, I saw it. Sally and two of my strongest
classmates ________________________________________ ( 已经沿着栏杆站好了位置),
creating____________________________(人力支持系统). Sally gave me a small, encouraging nod (小
小的、鼓励的点头). With that, I___________________________ (伸手抓住栏杆), my hand trembling
only slightly. Placing one foot carefully on the first step, I felt a _______________________ (稳定的
手) on my back from a classmate behind me. Step by slow step, I ascended, my eyes
______________________________________(我的目光锁定在莎莉令人安心的微笑上). When I
finally reached the top, the dean was waiting, _________________________________________(他的
表情亲切而耐心).
Paragraph 2
Walking down the stairs on the other side, I felt an overwhelming surge of pride. It wasn't just about the
diploma I now held; it was about ____________________________________ (征服了我内心恐惧的高
山). Each downward step _____________________________________ (比前一步更轻盈). At the
bottom, Sally was there, her arms wide open. I _______________________________ (投入她的怀抱),
_____________________________________________(情感的堤坝终于决堤) as tears of joy streamed
down my face. "You did it! I knew you could!" she whispered. Around us, our
classmates _____________________________________________ (爆发出热烈的掌声), not just for
my graduation, but for the small, personal victory they had all witnessed. In that moment, I understood
that my greatest achievement wasn't the degree, but________________________________ (牢不可破
的友谊纽带) and the _________________________________________ (重新找回的对自己力量的信
念) that had carried me through. The stairs no longer seemed like an obstacle, but
_____________________________________________________ (对我所能克服一切的证明).
