户外探险故事
写作导图
一、环境描写（场景设定）
通过五感描写增强代入感，用自然现象制造紧张氛围。
1. The howling wind tore through the pine trees, m·aking their branches dance like skeleton fingers.
（呼啸的风撕扯着松树，枝干如骷髅手指般疯狂舞动。）
解析：用拟声词"howling"和比喻"skeleton fingers"营造恐怖氛围，暗示危险即将发生。
2. Thick fog swallowed the mountain path, reducing visibility to mere three steps ahead.
（浓雾吞噬了山路，能见度仅剩三步之遥。）
解析："swallowed"强化环境压迫感，"mere three steps"量化危险程度。
3. Her trembling fingers traced the icy rock surface, each breath forming frosty clouds in the subzero air.
（她颤抖的手指抚过冰岩，每次呼吸都在零下空气中结成霜雾。）
解析：触觉（trembling）与视觉（frosty clouds）结合，体现极端环境对人的影响。
4. Moonlight filtered through the storm clouds, casting eerie shadows on the avalanche-prone slope.
（月光穿透暴风云，在易发雪崩的斜坡投下诡异暗影。）
解析：用"avalanche-prone"埋下伏笔，"eerie shadows"暗示潜在危险。二、人物反应（冲突升级）
通过动作细节和心理描写展现危机应对，推动情节发展。
1. His crampons skidded on the black ice, sending heart-stopping echoes across the cliff.
（冰爪在黑冰上打滑，惊心动魄的回声响彻悬崖。）
解析："heart-stopping echoes"双关物理回声和心理冲击，制造紧张转折点。
2. "Stay calm," she whispered to herself, fumbling with frozen zipper of the first-aid kit.
（"保持冷静"，她边喃喃自语，边摸索急救包冻住的拉链。）
解析：自我对话体现心理建设，具体动作"fumbling with frozen zipper"增强真实感。
3. Adrenaline surged through his veins as he glimpsed the widening crevasse beneath his dangling feet.
（当瞥见脚下逐渐扩大的冰裂缝时，肾上腺素在他血管中奔涌。）
解析：生理反应"adrenaline surged"与客观危险"widening crevasse"形成双重压迫。
4. The compass needle spun wildly, confirming their worst fear - the magnetic storm had begun.
（指南针疯狂旋转，证实了最糟猜想——地磁风暴已至。）
解析：物品异常暗示灾难，"worst fear"强化人物绝望心理。
三、救援行动（高潮推进）
使用短句加快节奏，通过团队协作展现希望。
1. "Grab the rope!" echoed through walkie-talkies as rescuers formed human chain across the raging
stream.
（对讲机传来"抓住绳索！"的呼喊，救援者在激流中筑起人链。）
解析：祈使句和"human chain"体现集体力量，场景画面感强烈。
2. Three sharp whistle blasts pierced the night - the universal mountaineering distress signal.
（三声尖锐哨响刺破夜空——这是国际通用的登山求救信号。）
解析：专业细节"three whistle blasts"增加可信度，动词"pierced"强调声音穿透力。3. Using ice axes as anchors, they inched toward the trapped climber through whiteout conditions.
（以冰镐为锚点，他们在白化天气中向被困者艰难挪动。）
解析："inched"量化救援难度，"whiteout"专业术语体现环境严酷。
4. The helicopter searchlight carved golden path through blizzard, igniting hope in frozen hearts.
（直升机探照灯在暴风雪中劈出金色通道，点燃冰封心脏的希望。）
解析：比喻"golden path"象征生机，"frozen hearts"呼应前文困境。
四、感悟升华（主题收尾）
用自然隐喻深化主题，避免说教式总结。
1. Dawn painted the summit gold, its beauty whispering that courage always outlives fear.
（黎明将峰顶染成金色，美景低语：勇气终将比恐惧更恒久。）
解析：拟人化"whispering"柔和点题，色彩意象"gold"象征胜利。
2. The healed avalanche scar on the mountain mirrored the resilience in their souls.
（山上愈合的雪崩伤痕，映照着他们灵魂的坚韧。）
解析：自然与人性类比，"healed scar"双重象征创伤与成长。
3. His trembling hands now steadier, he understood - mountains don't test legs, but hearts.
（颤抖的双手变得沉稳，他终于明白：山考验的不是腿脚，而是心志。）
解析：对比"trembling→steadier"展示成长，哲理句提升立意。
4. The rescued compass found new north - not magnetic, but the direction of mutual trust.
（获救的指南针找到新北方——无关地磁，而是信任的方向。）
解析：物品象征意义创新，"mutual trust"点明团队协作主题。
模拟演练1．阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Pam Bales left her car and stepped onto the snow-covered Jewell Trail. She planned a six-hour hike
through New Hampshire’s Mount Washington State Park. The hike up the lower part of Jewell was pleasant. At
8:30 am, still below the tree line, she took the first in a series of on-the-trail selfies.
Less than an hour later, she took another photo, after she’d climbed into colder air and deeper snows. She
made her way across the snow-covered ridge toward Mount Washington. Then she noticed something: a single
set of footprints in the snow ahead of her. She’d been following faint tracks all day and hadn’t given them much
thought, because so many people climb Jewell Trail. But these, she realized, had been made by a pair of
trainers, not suitable for hiking on snow.
By 11 am, Bales was getting cold and decided to abandon her plan. The only thing keeping Bales on
Gulfside Trail was the trainer tracks in the sonw. As she fought the wind and heavy sleet (雨夹雪), the tracks
made a hard left-hand turn off the trail.
Now she alarmed. She was sure the hiker could get through in the ow visibility and was heading straight
toward the challenging trails of the Great Gulf Wilderness. Bales stood there, stunned. The temperature and
clouds were in a race to find their lowest point, and darkness was mere hours away. She turned to the left and
called out, “Hello!” into the frozen fog.
Nothing. She called out again: “Is anybody out there? Do you need help?”
The strong westerly winds carried her voice away. She blew into her rescue whistle. For a fleeting moment
she thought she heard someone reply, but it was just the wind playing games with her mind. She stood listening,
then turned and walked cautiously in the direction of the single set of tracks. Bales followed the tracks
cautiously for 20 to 30 meters. She rounded a slight corner and saw a man sitting motionless.
注意：
1．续写词数应为150左右；
2．请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
When she approached him and said hello, he did not react.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
After waking the man up, Bales recognized that they had to get out of there soon.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________
2．阅读下面材料 ,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段 ,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
When I was in the eighth grade, I became interested in mountain climbing. Then I climbed my first
mountain— a fairly gentle 3,900-foot peak near where I live in surrey, British Columbia. I loved the challenge
of conquering something bigger than myself. I like climbing more and more. Soon I’d climbed nearly l00
peaks. My parents were happy I’d finally found a hobby.
Two years ago, on December 30, when I was 16, I drove to Oregon to climb 11,240-foot Mount Hood with
my friend Mel Olsen. It’s safer to start winter climbs at night when there’s less risk of the sun melting the
snowpack (积雪). That day, we started at 3 a.m. The temperature was about 14 degrees. Along the way, we met
two other climbers, and the four of us continued on together.
After about five hours, we reached Devil’s Kitchen, a plateau at about l0,000 feet. By this point, the wind
conditions were nasty (极糟糕的). My exposed skin felt as though it were burning. The trail we followed grew
narrower and steeper. At around 9 a.m. , we reached an ice step. I volunteered to go first. I placed my left foot
on it.
Confident I was safe, I put my full weight on it. Suddenly, I heard a loud noise, and a whole slab of ice
broke off the step, right under my foot.
In an instant, I fell backward, rolling down the mountain as if I were a character in a video game. After a
few seconds, I came to a stop on a shallow slope just above the Devil’s Kitchen. I’d fallen 600 feet. My clothes
were torn into small pieces, my helmet was broken, and my face was bloodied from cuts and scratches.
Fortunately, for the most part, I was fine, except that I was suffering from a sharp, great pain in my left leg.
注意:
l. 续写词数应为 l50 左右;
2． 请按如下格式在相应位置作答。I yelled for help.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
This accident made me have a deep reflection, but I was back climbing again.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
3．阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Surviving Mount Rainier
Bad luck and poor timing left Kart and three climbers stuck on Mount Rainier for several long days. They
faced mountain climbing’s toughest tests. One man suffered altitude sickness; ice and rockfall rained down at
night; cold nights in a tent that got torn left them hypothermic(体温过低的). Calm confidence, skill and the
courage to continue up the route, despite illness and injury, likely saved their lives.
The climbers set out on a Friday, camping low on the route the first night because they were concerned
about rockfall after a climber had recently died in an accident at the route’s typical high camp. On Saturday, at
about 10,500 feet, one of the climbers became sick from the altitude, which began to slow them down. They
needed to keep moving, so they put him in the lead so he could move at a pace he was comfortable with.
By Sunday evening, the ill climber was exhausted, and they had to make an unplanned camp on steep
snow. They were in a bad place—on a platform about the size of a table under an ice cliff. The wind got
stronger during the night, ripping the tent and snapping the poles. They tried to secure it by placing their packs
and rocks around the edges. Finally, they just stuck their feet between the rocks and held the tent with their
bodies. It was a cold night.
注意：
1． 所续写短文的词数应为150左右;
2． 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好;
Paragraph 1:On Monday, they managed to call 911 but forgot to ask how to communicate with the rangers (护林员)
before losing signal.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________
Paragraph 2
On Wednesday, they gathered everything and decided to carry on with their climb.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________
4．阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文，续写词数
应为150左右。
Malachi Bradley doesn’t show signs of being panicked or worried when he talks about how he spent 29
hours lost in a rough area of the High Uintas. “I didn’t really feel scared. I was just trying to get back to my
family,” the 10-year-old said Tuesday in a quiet, almost matter-of-fact way just one day after he was rescued.
When asked what happened to him, he simply replied: “A lot of things. I hiked a long way.”
Malachi confidently believes he could have survived two or three weeks on his own, dressed in only his
jeans and his shoes, and with no food, tent or blankets. But the look in the eyes of Malachi’s father, Danny
Bradley, told a different story, one of much deeper concern, when he realized his son was missing. “It’s a
horrible feeling, just knowing how vast the Uinta Mountains are,” he said, “I quickly felt how severe the
situation was.”
Malachi recalled his great adventure Tuesday. He showed no signs of going without food for a day or
sleeping between rocks for an hour at night to block the cold wind. But he admitted when he got home to his
own bed on Monday night that he was asleep within a minute of his head hitting his pillow and stayed there for
12 hours.
His adventure began Sunday when Malachi, his father, two siblings(兄弟姐妹), and a family friend were
about to leave their campsite near Paul Lake to go home. “We were just going to cook up a fish he caught andhead out, and,” Danny Bradley paused, “it ended up being a lot longer.”
Malachi said he went to look for mushrooms about 10:30 a.m. He had just walked a long way when he
encountered a snake. He was so frightened that he decided to get back but he could no longer see the lake where
his campsite was set up. He knew he was lost.
注意：
1． 续写词数应为150左右；
2． 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Malachi didn’t have his whistle with him that he normally carries in case he gets lost when exploring.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________
But on Monday afternoon, Malachi took off his shoes to take a break in an open area and heard another
helicopter nearby.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________
5．阅读下面材料。据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
It was summer. I took a trip to a big lake in Indonesia with my family two years ago. It was really a huge
lake with beautiful scenery all around. It was so peaceful and quiet. The blue of the lake, the deep green pine
trees, as well as the rising sun mixed to create a magic scene. It looked like a blue diamond shining just for us.
People were amazed by the endless view in front of our eyes, so was I. I was fascinated so much that I couldn’t
stop my excitement as if I were on the top of the world.
Later on, unlike other girls, I volunteered to go water-skiing alone. “Don’t go too far away. It is
dangerous.” My mom cried behind. With mom’s cries, I put on the life jacket, got on the motorboat
immediately and started my engine as soon as possible. From where I stood, the lake seemed broad and endless.
I was so thrilled (激动) to enjoy my trip among the mountains and waters that I speeded up my motorboat.Then, after some time, I found myself in the middle of the endless lake. A sudden fear came around me. I didn’t
know where I was or even how far I had gone from the shore. As time went by, I could see nothing but water.
What was worse, it began to rain and it became very cold and foggy. With the sun setting, it was getting darker
and darker. I couldn’t find anyone around.
注意：
1．所续写短文的词数应为150左右；
2．续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好。
Paragraph 1:
I rode everywhere but couldn’t find my way back.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Paragraph 2:
After floating on the water helplessly and hopelessly for a long time, suddenly I heard someone calling my
name.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
6．阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。
Brady was a recently retired search and rescue dog. He was not happy and missed his owner Al because Al
had gone out on a rescue mission without him. Al’s nephew Steve took Brady along when he and his friend
Zach went on a overnight hike. But suddenly Steve and Zach smelled something burning and they realized that
lightning had set the woods on fire. Wind-blown flame had leaped from the top of one tree to another. The long
dry summer had turned the forest into a tinderbox(火绒箱) and the thunderstorm wasn’t helping much. It had
more wind and lightning than rain. Zach pulled Steve’s arm. “Let’s go! We can make it back to the river we
crossed today.” Steve pulled Brady’s leash（皮带） and their heads down against the strong fire-wind, they
hurried down the path they had followed earlier. The air was full of smoke，and pine branches broke from
burning trees with a crisp sound. Steve kept his eyes on the route. All they had to do was to make it down to the
river…
Brady barked a sharp warning. Ahead of them lay a dense curtain of smoke across the path. They’d never
make it through that. They would have to find another escape route. The dog was pulling at his leash trying to
draw them away from the smoke. This was what Brady was trained to do, and yet Steve was uneasy. It seemed
to him they were moving away from the river.Brady lifted his head and smelled the smoky wind. Suddenly, the dog ran away and disappeared. The boys
yelled and shouted for him，but he didn’t come back.
They had no choice but to leave him behind. Heartsick, Steve and Zach went up aslope（斜坡）. He
couldn’t blame Brady for panicking and escaping. He himself wanted to run even though he didn’t have a clue
which way. They hadn’t gone far when there was a familiar bark, and Brady came running toward him.
Paragraph1：
“Where’ve you been?” Steve cried.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
Paragraph 2：
Brady led them back down the slope and into the trees.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
7．阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。
I often go climbing with my friend Mel Olsen, whom I'd met in a Face-book group. Two years ago, on
December 30, when I was 16, she and I drove to Oregon to tackle 11, 240-foot Mount Hood. My parents were
happy I'd finally found a hobby.
It's safer to start winter climbs at night when there's less risk of the sun melting the snowpack. That day,
we started at 3 a. m, following the paths alongside the ski runs. The temperature was about14 degrees. Along
the way, we met two other climbers, and the four of us continued on together.
After about five hours, we reached Devil's Kitchen, a plateau at about 10, 000 feet, just before the final
push to the top. By this point, the wind was violent. My exposed skin felt as though it were burning. The other
climbers decided to turn back, but Mel and I went ahead. We had ice axes, helmets, and crampons (冰爪). We
were prepared for the climb.
The trail we followed grew narrower and steeper. Suddenly, I heard a crack, and a whole block of ice
broke off the ice step, right under my foot.
In an instant, I fell backward. I could hear Mel calling my name as I rolled down the mountain as if I were
a character in a video game. I stuck out my arms and legs, grabbing at anything. My clothes were torn into
pieces, my helmet was broken, and my face was bloodied from cuts and scratches. Then I took a survey of mybody to see where I was hurt, starting with my head, then my neck and arms. For the most part, I was fine,
except that I was suffering from a sharp pain in my left leg.
As Mel made her way down, I shouted for help, and other climbers came to assist me. A couple of them
were trained EMTs. They fixed my leg and called Portland Mountain Rescue. Mel stayed by my side while I
tried not to cry from the pain.
注意：1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右；
2．请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
I'd been lying on the ice shaking and aching for four hours by the time the rescuers reached me.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
The fall on a mountain can change everything.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
8．阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。
We moved on into the jungle-- a forest where large numbers of tall trees and plants grow very close
together. Old Mali went in front and I followed close behind him. We stopped for the night about an hour before
it began to get dark.
Old Mali lit a fire. When it was bright he showed me how to make a bed with moss(青苔，苔藓).
It was soft and comfortable.
―Mali, how did you learn to make such a bed? I asked.
―I learned to make beds like that, Mali replied, ―by watching and listening to others. That is the real way
to learn anything.
―Will you let me watch you always? I asked Old Mali. ―I want to learn all the things you know about
the jungle.
When we had finished our supper, Old Mali got onto his bed and lay down. It was now completely dark. In
the fire light, Old Mali seemed to be fast asleep on his bed. I suddenly felt alone and afraid.
All day in the jungle, while we had been walking, I had heard noises of animals. Now they seemed to be
much nearer. The jungle was now a wall of blackness in the light of the fire.
I felt frightened and suddenly my mouth went dry. I wanted to scream. I felt my mouth opening wide,ready to scream as loud as possible.
But I did not scream. I saw Old Mali’s face in the firelight. This made me feel ashamed. I held my teeth
tightly together to stop myself from screaming. I lay down and closed my eyes.
As soon as I closed my eyes. I heard a thousand noises. The whole jungle became alive with animals
moving quietly and carefully all around me. Suddenly Old Mali took a deep breath and made a noise. I was
hearing so many imaginary noise and the real noise made by Old Mali gave me a terrible fright.
I opened my eyes and jumped out of bed. I pulled my knife out and held it above my head.
注意：
1． 所续写短文的词数应为 150 左右；
2． 应使用 5 个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语；
3． 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；
4． 续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词。
I was going to see if there was a wild animal beside the fire.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Old Mali’s quiet calm voice made me feel better.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
