2025-2026 学年第一学期杭州市高三年级教学质量检测
读后续写二次学案学生版
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
It was a hot day in New York City.I had brunch with a friend and picked up my new
glasses.All done and headed back on the train.I wanted to yell at a couple of people for their
rude behavior,but wisely just sat quietly.
An old black gentleman entered the far end of the train car.In worn but neat clothes,he
tipped his faded cap and greeted everyone with a warm “Good afternoon,folks.”Most
ignored him,with cold blank faces.Then,he started to sing.I didn't turn my head,but I felt
a smile in my soul.Many people ask for money on the train,but I always feel happy when
someone offers music instead.It feels like a gift.
I let the notes settle in for a second before my eyes wandered.A young boy across
from me,maybe ten, watched him,swaying(摇摆)to the rhythm,his mother too distracted by her
phone to notice.
He started his second song and my heart did a happy dance."Lean on me,when you're
not strong.I'll be your friend...”I love that song!Without thinking,I softly sang a little harmony
with him.Right away,I decided he could have the $5 bill in my purse.
He looked tall and thin,but he had a strong voice and kind energy.Life had clearly been
hard for him,but he still stood tall and carried himself with quiet dignity.
I rolled the bill tightly and waited for him to make his way to me.He held the overhead
bar to steady himself as he inched down the car, pausing briefly beside each seat like he
was waiting for a sign —though no one glanced up. No one was making any moves to
give him coins or reach for their wallet.
注 意 ：
(1) 续写词数应为150 左右；
(2) 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1:Somehow,he noticed me singing along
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Paragraph 2:It was still hot and sticky inside the car;but something had changed.
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【原文翻译】
那是纽约市一个炎热的日子。我和一位朋友吃完早午餐，取了我的新眼镜。所有事情都办完
了，我坐火车回去。我想对几个行为粗鲁的人大喊，但明智地选择了安静地坐着。
一位年长的黑人先生走进了车厢的远端。他穿着破旧但整洁的衣服，轻轻碰了碰他褪色的帽
子，向每个人热情地问候："下午好，朋友们。"大多数人都以冰冷、空白的面孔忽略了他。然后，
他开始唱歌。我没有转头，但我感觉我的灵魂在微笑。很多人在火车上乞讨，但当有人提供音乐
时，我总是感到快乐。这感觉像是一份礼物。
我让音符在心中沉淀了片刻，然后我的目光开始游移。我对面的一个小男孩，大概十岁，注
视着他，随着节奏摇摆，他的母亲则专注于她的手机而没有注意到。
他开始了他的第二首歌，我的心高兴地跳了起来。"依靠我，当你不够坚强。我会是你的朋
友……"我太爱那首歌了！想都没想，我就轻轻地和他唱起了和声。我立刻决定，要把我钱包里
的那张5 美元纸币给他。
他看起来又高又瘦，但他的声音有力，能量和善。生活显然对他很艰难，但他仍然站得笔直，
带着安静的尊严。
我把纸币紧紧卷起，等待着他向我这边走来。他抓着头顶的横杆以稳定自己，一边沿着车厢
慢慢移动，一边在每个座位旁短暂停顿，像是在等待一个信号
尽管没有人抬头看。没有人
——
有任何举动要给他硬币或伸手去拿钱包。
【写作训练步骤】
第一步：通读全文，深度解读
读情节：
开端: ______________________________________________________________________________。
发展: 一位衣着朴素但整洁、保有尊严的年长黑人男子上车，他通过_____________________来
与车厢里的人交流，但遭遇普遍冷漠。
转折: “ 我
被他的歌声，尤其是《
”
Lean on Me 》这首歌深深打动，情不自禁地
_____________________，并决定给予他经济上的感谢（5 美元）。
高潮: 老人沿着车厢移动，却无人回应。叙述者卷好钱，等待着他过来。
续写开端: 老人注意到了
我
的跟唱。
“
”
续写结局: _____________________行为完成后，车厢氛围发生微妙变化。
读人物:
“我
” (第一人称叙述者): _______________，富有同情心，能欣赏艺术（音乐），内心从烦躁转
向愉悦与善意，并勇于用行动（跟唱、赠予）表达认可。
老先生 (唱歌者): 虽生活困窘，但保有，以提供
礼物
（音乐）而非乞求的方式与人交流，乐
“
”
观坚韧。
小男孩: 被音乐本能吸引，代表未被世俗冷漠完全浸染的纯真。
其他乘客: 代表都市的_____________________。
读时态：
全文以_____________________为主，续写需严格保持一致。
读冲突：
外在冲突: 老先生的温暖歌声、尊严与车厢内普遍_____________________氛围的对抗。
内在冲突: “我
最初因他人粗鲁产生的负面情绪与后来被音乐治愈、并想表达善意的内心斗争。
”
读情绪发展：
烦躁/压抑
被音乐触动
产生共鸣与喜悦
决定行动
期待与观察
→
→
→
→
→____________
（续写发展：）
→__________________（续写结局：）
读主题：
人性微光与都市冷漠 (A Glimmer of Humanity vs. Urban Apathy)
_____________________ (Dignity and Kindness)
艺术（音乐）作为连接人心的桥梁 (Art/Music as a Bridge Between Hearts)
_____________________ (The Power of Small Acts of Kindness)
第二步：【十句五定法】
搭建你的写作框架
——
段落
句子功能
你的句子构思
第一段
1. 接续Hint1
描写老先生注意到
我
跟唱时的反应。
“
”
2. 动作/心理推进
描写他如何向
我
走近，以及
我
准备递出钱的动作和
“
”
“
”
心理。
3. 有效过渡
描写
我
递出钱并简短说明意图。
“
”
4. 有效衔接
描写老先生接受钱时的反应。
5. 段落收束
以老先生继续前行唱歌或一个短暂的互动结束本段。
第二段
6. 接续Hint2
具体描述车厢内
变化
是什么。
“
”
7. 情节发展
描写小男孩可能受到的影响或后续反应。
8. 主题升华
通过
我
的内心感受，点明这次经历的意义。
“
”
9. 结局呈现
描写老先生下车或歌曲结束，以及
我
的最终凝视或感
“
”
受。
10. 富有余韵的结尾
用一个象征或哲理性的句子结束故事，回扣主题。
第三步：【微写作训练】
打磨你的语言
——
训练一：环境描写 · 烘托心情
1. 当他注意到我跟唱时，_________________________，他歌声的节奏。
2. 我递出那卷起的纸币，_________________________，他接过时。
3. 交易完成后，_____________________，车厢里那种_____________________似乎开始消散。
训练二：人物刻画 · 于细微处见真情（连线）
他很感激。 A. He placed a hand over his heart and gave a slow, deep nod, his eyes holding mine.
她深受触动。 B. A single tear traced a path through the dust on her cheek as she listened.
他充满尊严。 C. He stood a little straighter, accepting the gift not as a handout, but as an honor.
我选择仿写第____句：___________________________________________________________
训练三：情感表达 · 找到"高级替身"
例句升级：
原句：I was happy when he took the money and thanked me kindly.
升级句: ___________________________________________________________
训练四：动作细节 · 让情感可视化
1. 细
节
版
: His eyes, __________________________, met mine, and he
___________________________ almost imperceptibly, the melody never faltering.
2. 细
节
版
:
He
___________________________,
his
work-worn
fingers
___________________________ the bill as if it were something fragile and precious.
训练五：象征与隐喻 · 让主题更深刻
老人的歌声 (The old man's song) → 不仅是娱乐，更是在冷漠都市中对_____________________
的坚持。
这5 美元 (The five-dollar bill) → 从 _____________________ 变成了 _____________________。
车厢氛围的变化 (The change in the car's atmosphere) → 证明了 _____________________。
第四步：综合训练与范文引导
训练：补全段落
请根据上下文，在横线处填入最恰当的词语或短语。
Paragraph 1
Somehow, he noticed me singing along. His eyes, scanning the indifferent faces, found mine.
____________________________ (1). He began to move towards me, his steps more purposeful. As he
drew near, I didn't wait for him to pause. ____________________________ (2). He stopped singing for
a brief moment. ____________________________ (3). "Thank you, sister," he said, his voice low and
resonant. "You have a kind heart." ____________________________ (4).
(1) ___________________________________________________________
(2) ___________________________________________________________
(3) ___________________________________________________________
(4) ___________________________________________________________
Paragraph 2
It was still hot and sticky inside the car; but something had changed. ____________________________
(5). I saw the young boy tug on his mother's sleeve, whispering excitedly and pointing. The mother,
finally looking up from her phone, followed his gaze towards the old man, her expression shifting from
annoyance to a dawning curiosity. ____________________________ (6). I leaned back, the grimy
window cool against my temple. ____________________________ (7). It wasn't just about the five
dollars. It was about the exchange—the music offered, the gratitude given, the dignity upheld.
____________________________ (8).
(5) ___________________________________________________________
(6) ___________________________________________________________
(7) ___________________________________________________________
(8) ___________________________________________________________
【学生版学案 参考答案】
第一步：通读全文，深度解读
读情节： 发展: 唱歌。 转折: 跟着哼唱。 续写结局: 赠予。
读人物：
我
“
”: 敏感。 老先生: 尊严 (dignity)。 其他乘客: 冷漠、疏离。
读时态： 一般过去时。
读冲突： 外在冲突: 冷漠。
读情绪发展： 建立连接，完成赠予；内心满足，氛围转变。
读主题： 尊严与善意；微小善举的力量。
第三步 & 第四步：微写作及综合训练参考答案
训练一：
our eyes meeting (我们的目光相遇); seemed to strengthen ever so slightly (似乎极其轻微地加强了)。
whispering "For the music" (低语"为了这音乐"); gave a slow, gracious nod (缓慢、优雅地点了点头)。
a ripple effect seemed to spread (似乎泛起了一阵涟漪效应); icy indifference (冰冷的漠然)。
训练二： 连线: 1-A; 2-B; 3-C。
训练三：
A surge of warmth filled my chest as he accepted the money, and his quiet words, "You've made this
journey beautiful," felt like an acknowledgment of our shared humanity.
训练四：
crinkling at the corners (眼角泛起皱纹); gave a slight nod (轻轻点了点头)。
paused his singing (停止了歌唱); gently closing around (轻轻地合拢 around)。
训练五：
a stubborn insistence on humanity and connection (人性与连接的一种固执坚持)。
a mere piece of paper currency (一张单纯的纸币); a tangible token of gratitude for a moment of shared
beauty and a recognition of his inherent dignity (对共享美丽时刻的感激之情以及对他固有尊严的认
可的有形象征)。
how a single, genuine act of kindness can create a ripple effect, challenging the pervasive culture of
indifference (一个真诚的善举如何能产生涟漪效应，挑战普遍存在的冷漠文化)。
第四步：综合训练
(1) A spark of recognition ignited in his gaze, and the rhythm of his song seemed to strengthen ever so
slightly
(2) I held out the tightly rolled five-dollar bill, my voice barely a whisper above the train's rumble, "For
the music."
(3) He looked at the bill, then back at my face, and accepted it with a slow, gracious nod, his work-worn
fingers closing around it with unexpected gentleness
(4) Then, he continued on his way, the melody of 'Lean on Me' picking up once more, now feeling like a
personal gift just for me
(5) The invisible wall of cold indifference that had filled the space seemed to have developed a crack
(6) A man a few seats down, who had previously stared blankly out the window, now discreetly wiped a
finger under his eye
(7) The weight of the city's rudeness and my own initial irritation had lifted, replaced by a light,
expansive feeling in my chest
(8) As the train slowed for the next station, I realized that the true gift wasn't the song itself, but the
fragile, beautiful bridge it had built between two strangers, reminding us both that we weren't entirely
alone in the crowd
